words in movies
(They shake hands and their lines overlap.)
Rachel: Yeah thats great Paul, but yknow I wanna know what(Puts her hands on his shoulders)Wow, those are really great! I just wanna know what, what is behind this-this strong, silent exterior. Yknow they say that still waters run deep and I wanna swim in yours.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Paul: It was horrible. They called me chicken boy.
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Phoebe: Some guy bought it. Im sorry. I tired to stop it but they (points to the jeweler) put me in jail!
Chandler: They put you in jail?
Joey: From now on, its gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. (They shake hands.) Okay! Were gonna be the new Joey and Chandler.
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Paul: I would really like that. (They kiss.)
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Ross: You-youre gonna get married?! I mean Were gonna be brothers-in-law! (They hug.)
Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait til uh, it was official yknow? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because youre my best friends.
Ross: Thanks! (They hug.) Ugh, I cant believe youre not gonna be there!
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
Ross: Erica, those things aren't free. In fact they have one of the highest mark-ups of any consumer product...
Chandler: (to Nancy) Okay, thanks... (to Monica) They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price.
Ross: Bye. (They kiss.)
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah! Real fun. (She makes a decision.) Yknow, this bra Really, bothers me. (She starts taking off her bra.) Yknow, this used to be my bedroom. Yeah. A lot of memories in here, a lot of memories. If these walls could talk, yknow what theyd say? Wanna hear some memories? (She is now violently pulling on her bra in order to remove it, but it isnt co-operating.)
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Mona: Okay, I guess you can close the door now. (He does so and they kiss.)
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.
Rachel: I dont know. Yknow, they didnt get us anything.
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
MR. TREEGER: He musta been sweepin'. They found a broom in his hand.
(They start to leave.)
(They grab the luggage and drag it into Joey and Rachels forcing Monica and Chandler to follow.)
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.
(They all hug.)
[Cut to Monica and Rachels, theyre all there playing cards.]
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Ross: Yeah! (They high-five.)
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
(They both kiss.)
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
(They go back into the living room)
Phoebe: Theyve been quiet for a long time.
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
PHOEBE: [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Everybody.
Phoebe: They are. Why?
Rachel: Well, what is a boss for? Hug it out! (They hug)
Rachel: You had no right coming down to my office Ross. You do not bring a picnic basket to somebodys work! Unless maybe they were a park ranger!
Chandler: (angry) Well if people dont know they shouldnt just guess!
All: Ohh!! (they all start pointing at the screen)
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
Joey: They let you get married when youre drunk! Most people who get married in Vegas are drunk!
<they hug and Rachel has this disgusted look on her face and then Emma starts crying>
Ross: So! Poetry? Susans gay! Theyre being gay together!
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
DR. BURKE: Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. [Phoebe just giggles when they shake] So, how ya been?
Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
Phoebe: Okay, umm, if a kid gets straight As, his parents would say, "Yeah, he pulled a Monica." Y'know? Or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah I know, he pulled a Monica." Or someone hits a homerun and the announcer says, "Yeah, that ones outta here." Though some things dont change.
Rachel: You know what? Uhm, I have some goodbye stuff that I wanted to say to each of you and I was gonna save it until the end of the night, but come here (they go into the guest room).
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Monica: They torn it down a few days early.
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
RACHEL: No!� Wait!� No, no.� Don't do that!� That's going to make them think they can come over here.
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Joey: Uh, for your information, since they hired a very hot weather girl.
Chandler: (enters singing) Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll hit the gym (sits down) who am I kidding pay-per-view porn.
Rachel: No because first they arrest the guy and then they try him.
Rachel: Return them?! Shh! Theyre gonna hear you!
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
(They all turn and glare at him.)
(They kiss.)
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Rachel: Well yknow what they say, the 23rd times the charm. (Chandler enters.) Aww, look at you all handsome!
Joey: When theyre hungry enough, theyll come in.
Ross: Hey, thanks Rach. (They hug.)
(They both go to her apartment.)
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
(Theyre all staring at him, with big, huge smiles on their faces.)
Frank: (Theyre less than happy now) Oh.
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Rachel: Oh, God, ask them what they want.
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
(They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
Ross: They have another guess.
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Monica: Sit down. (They sit down on the couch.)
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
ROB: The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hopin' that you'd play more songs about like, barnyard animals.
(They go into his bedroom.)
(They start playing.)
(They both shiver in horror.)
(They enter Ross's apartment. Ross is already quite hyper.)
<They go back to fighting and then it really gets on>
(Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls away.)
(A pause as they look at Chandler.)
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
Ross: Why are they here?
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Carol: Oh I I think theyre funny.
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's new house. Sitting near the window, they look at the neighborhood.]