words in movies
Chandler: You dont think Ive tried? You think I like having 50 dollars taken out of my bank account every month? No, they make you go all the way down there! Then they use all of these phrases and peppiness to try and confuse you! Then they bring out Maria.
Ross: They make you take an oath?
Chandler: Okay. (They go inside) (To the guy at the desk) I wanna quit the gym.
Chandler: Were doomed. Okay, theyre gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
[Scene: Ross and Chandlers bank, they are there to close their accounts.]
(They start to kiss, then Rick stops suddenly.)
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
Phoebe: Yeah, they thought I was a whore.
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
STEPHANIE: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Monica: You obviously havent screwed over a lot of your friends. (They all look at her) Which we all appreciate.
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
All: Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. (They just stand there, then realise what he means and go to the other end of the room)
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
(They give each other a dubious look.)
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Rachel: Oh! Screw it, I didn't get it! (they high-five)
Chandler: Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.
Phoebe: Enchanté (she holds out her hand, and they shake hands)
CHANDLER: Welcome home man. [they hug and jump around]
(They all look to Phoebe to settle this.)
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
[They all run to get in the cab, and Chandler pulls out a smoke.]
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise, they don't let you do it.
Guy: Yeah, the Knicks by 10. They suck.
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
Chandler: Oh honey, leave them alone, theyre in love.
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
Dina: I cant believe shes really gone. Look around you, all of this is ours. (They move into kiss but; theyre stopped by Joey entering with a huge bandage wrapped around his head.)
Joey: Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
(They hug and Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Chandler: The bath salts! Theyre starting to effervesce! Its different. (Pause) Its interesting.
[They both step out into the hall.]
[They hug and kiss.]
Monica: Oh, my mom called, theyre gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so were looking for a good picture of us.
(Pause as they both take another sip of coffee.)
Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.
RACHEL: No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?
Rachel: Oh, I called them. And when they ask me what I saw, I can be very generous (Holds her hands far apart) or very (In a high pitched voice) stingy.
Monica: Y'know they say a watched pot never beeps.
Joey: No, not really. They give you all the information, its uh, its like memorizing a script. (Making like a tour guide) "And on your left, you have Tyrannosaurus Rex, a carnivore from the Jurassic period.
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
(They hug as Rachel enters.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Chandler: No. I mean I believe that uh, certain people are more suited for each other and I believe in falling in love, but soul mates, I dont think they exist.
(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run out through the fog.)
(Jamie Buchman and Fran Devanow enter the coffee house. They look about them as Jamie removes her coat and scarf.)
ERICA: Who's they?
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Rachel: And thank you for your time. (They both beat a hasty retreat.)
(They kiss each other on the cheek, and Rachel leaves.)
TOGETHER: Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault.
Chandler: They dont really talk to us about that kind of stuff. I can get you some free white out though.
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Rachel: Thank you! Youre great! (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Ross: And they knew about it?
Phoebe: Oh, you say someones name enough, they turn around.
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them.
Rachel: Okay. Just give us a second. Ross! (They walk away from the desk.)
All: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... (She cuts one of them and they cheer.)
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
Ross: Is that what they say on the Figure Skating Team?
(They both sit back down.)
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Phoebe: Yeah, so... They gotta die someday. (Mike's parents walk in) HELLO!
(As they approach the kitchen, the door opens and in walks in a Joey look-a-like.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
MR. TREEGER: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
ROSS: Hey, save us some pizza. [they go off to Rachel's room]
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
Monica: We're all sorry... (They have a group hug)
MONICA: [sings] They won't take you to the vet.
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Rachel: Oh God! This is silly, Im gonna see you in a couple of hours! (They hug again.)
The Vendor: (looks around) Theyre all tourists.
(Ross and Rachel watch them walk away and sigh. They look at each other, embarassed.)
[They dance; Carol looks on lovingly.]
(They go into the hallway and see Mr. Treeger watching one of New Yorks bravest breakdown Monica and Chandlers door with an ax.]
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Monica: But my clothes areohh! (They both leave.)
Joey: I still cant believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Joey: From now on, its gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. (They shake hands.) Okay! Were gonna be the new Joey and Chandler.
(They fall to the couch and start to make out, but Ross stops suddenly.)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.
Ross: (to Joey) It's ok, because they have to get it out of their system, okay (back to Mon and Chan), but you're going to realize, this is the only place, you wanna be.
MONICA: Yeah, well they suck too.