words in movies
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Chandler: That sounds like my first bike. (They all turn and look at him.) My dad gave me his old one.
Phoebe: No! But she gave me the box that it came in. It had a picture of the bike on the front. (Theyre all speechless) So I would sit on it and my step-dad would drag me around the backyard.
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Phoebe: Yeah, and theyve been coming by all day. They love it!
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Gary: Its candy time! My roommate says that they taste like little drops of heaven.
Tag: A joke they would appreciate?
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Rachel: Maybe its not as bad as I think. Yknow, maybe they didnt take it the way I meant it.
Monica: But they like it!
Chandler: You mean they like you.
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
(They start towards the door but are stopped when Mr. Zelner enters.)
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Rachel: Thank you! Youre great! (They kiss.)
Rachel: (looking at his butt) There it is. (They hug.)
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Chandler: Youre welcome. (They kiss.)
[Scene: Central Park, Phoebe is now riding her bike with ease and stops in front of Ross. They both giggle.]
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
(They run to the bed, sit down, and start making out again.)
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it.
Rachel: That's what I said! Thank you for being so nice. (They hug.)
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Phoebe: Now Ben, sometimes people may seem like jerks on the outside, but they have famous fathers.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
(They put on their glasses and try to find their way to their seats.)
Joey: Oh, ‘They are warm, nice, people with big hearts’.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (They hug.) Okay.
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Joey: Okay. Rachel and Phoebe are already there, okay? So they probably started without us. We could just slip in and no-one needs to know where we were! (he raises his hands and on his right one there's a Rangers foam finger)
Monica: Are you trying to tell me that were moving to Oklahoma, or that youre gay? All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.)
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: Um-hmm, yeah. They left me a message; they should be here any minute.
Mr. Kaplan: Come on over here, sweetheart. (they walk over to a storage closet)
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
(They start kissing again, but are interrupted by the phone.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Monica: Yeah. (they kiss) What d'you wanna do tonight?
(They all gasp)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
(They all start laughing at him)
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Robert: (running in) Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys.
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Ross: Oh, man, I'm not going to be able to handle this. (pause) Now I know how my students feel at the end of each year. And why they act out by giving me such bad evaluations.
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
Chandler: Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
Phoebe: No, nothing like that. I was just...such a dummie. I taught this "massage-yourself-at-home-workshop." And they are.
(they all tear off the wrapping paper)
[They all start fighting with each other.]
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Joey: Y-y-yeah! (As they start to leave, Rachel pauses and steals a vase with flowers in it.) Yeah you do. (They exit.)
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Pete: Lights. (The lights turn on, once again theyre too bright.) Uh, romantic lights. (The lights dim.)
BARRY: Yeah, what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on.
GUNTHER: Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)
Joey: Hey! Im an (does the quote-marks thing as well) actor too! Im not sure. I think theyre taking the ferry out to some Italian place on Staten Island.
Monica: Well I dont have them either. Where are they?
(They enter Joey and Rachels to find that Joey has broken Chandlers chair.)
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Ross: Now, how will they know if youre ready?
Ross: (entering) Hey, guys! (They both notice his new little friend)
Phoebe: (to Monica) Look, look, I have elbows! (They scream.)
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
Susan: What, you don't think they can hear sounds in there?
(They both break into a huge laugh and do that stop motion thing they had at the end of ChiPs.)
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Charlie: Shall we? (they sit down and Benjamin takes Ross' chair).
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Alice: None the less. Umm, youre too young to, to really know what you want. (They embrace in a passionate kiss.)
Rachel: Well, they always called.
Monica: Because theyll know weve been listening.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Phoebe: Oh my God, they took my idea!
Chandler: Yeah. (they start to leave)
(They both go back into their old rooms and shut the doors. Of course, Chandler has to close both sections of his door.)
The Rabbi: I dont know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die...
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Chandler: Yes, I-I know that you do, but I think one of the reasons people were complaining though, was that they paid to hear the actor sing Old Man River.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Chandler: Yes, but in Rosss case, they both know in two weeks thats it.
(They clink beer bottles, and drink.� Then, they stare uncomfortably at their bottles.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Ross: Looks like a fun gang. (They all look at each other and smile)
Kiki: And while we're on the subject of news.. (She holds up here finger to show off her engagement ring and they all scream again.)
Carol: Mushroom. Smile. They won't all be like this. Some women might even stay through dinner. Sorry, that's not funny
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
Joey: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
(They kiss.)
Joey: All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Lets go!
All: Oh! (They stop hugging her to let her out and resume the hug without her.)
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
(They start making out. She opens his shirt and feels inside and stops.)
Monica: Chris says theyre closing down the bar.
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
(They both go into their rooms and after a little while Rachel pokes her head into the living room.)
(They all run over to the window.)
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Eric: Eric. (They shake hands and hes squinting. And, no, its not me.)
Joey: Hey, being you is finally gonna pay off! (They give each other fives.)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
(They all applaud her.)