words in movies
Erica: Yeah, you know, maybe I ate too much. I keep getting these stomach-aches. They come and go like every few minutes.
(He walks over and kisses her. They pull back, Rachel looks at him, and they kiss again.)
(They kiss.)
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Rachel: Chick and the duck? Didn't they die...
Phoebe: (interrupting) Dive. Yeah, they dove head-first into fun on the farm.
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Erica: I don't think so. Although, they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.
(They walk over to the door.)
Monica: That doesn't matter! We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! I don't care if the entire cast of "Eight is Enough" comes out of there! We are taking them home, because they are our children!
Monica: Do you think they recognize each other from in there?
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
(They all walk over to see the baby.)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
(They hug.)
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
(They drive up to a toll-booth.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
(Suddenly, they hear the birds.)
(They realise that the birds are in the foosball table.)
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they were doing it before.
Monica: Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here they go again.
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
(They do the lame cool guy handshake. They look at each other, and then they hug.)
(They kiss again.)
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
(they all jump up excitedly and try to see the ticket)
(they all look at Ross)
(They all glare evilly at Phoebe)
Phoebe: You know, did you ride mopeds? 'Cause I've heard... (they stare at her)... oh, I see... it's not about that right now. OK.
Phoebe: Was it my work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?!
(They lean in to kiss and are interrupted by the phone.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes, there is, they play on Sundays and Monday nights.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
(They enter the lecture hall to find Ross speaking in an English accent for some unknown reason.)
Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)
Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I dont know why I do that.
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
Phoebe: I'm sorry too... (they hug)
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
(They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)
Monica: Who, who are they?
(They all kiss her and wish her luck.)
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)
Janine: I dont know, theyre just a little blah!
JOEY: They can't kill me, I'm Francesca's long lost son.
Rachel: Okay, calm down, here they are. (Gives back the sunglasses.)
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
(They don't move, just look all around them.)
Monica:: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! (They hug)
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Ross: Ok. (they both go)
Monica: Im sorry, they surprised me. There was nothing I could do!
(They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.)
Joey: Which one, they all suck!
(They both start laughing. There's a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: (watching around and whispering) Ok, are they listening?
Chandler: Okay. (They both realize what he just said.)
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
(they hug)
Monica: Money! (they all look at her) Friends...
Joey: (sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast.)
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, Im, Im sorry. (walks away)
[Outside the window, Monica and Chandler jog up. Monica playfully pushes him. They start puching and slapping harder and harder until Monica pushes him down. Chandler stands up, with a serious expression, and chases her away.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! (they hug)
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Phoebe: Ok. (they walk away together)
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
(they hug)
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Rachel: They made you head of the department!
Rachel: Thank you. (they walk away)
(they just look at her for a moment; then they go back to checking the tickets)
Ross: Hey! High-five! (they high-five)
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
Joey: Yeah. (they leave)
Phoebe: Yes! (they hug)
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
Phoebe & Mike: Yeah! (they leave)
(They start playing again)
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Charlie: Are they still looking for us?
(They walk over to the playpen.)
Ross: I don't think they saw us.
Charlie: I don't think they did.
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Chandler: (still helium voice) Right behind you, big guy! (they both head for the door)
Rachel: Are they right?
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Rachel: Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success.
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
(They run and hug each other.)
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. Theyve been taping those people up there all day.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey sweetie! (they kiss)
(Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.)
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
(They hug)
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Monica: Okay! (They kiss again and his beeper goes off.) Ohhh no!
Ross: When they see this you'll be 52!
(They look at each other for a while)
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Paolo: Ah, poke (Paolo touches Rachel's nose) a (touches nose again) nose, mmm (they rub noses, then kisses her)
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Chandler: (aside, to Ross) What!? They are totally ripping us off!
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
[Scene: Barbados, Monica and Chandler's Room. They both enter from Ross's room. Monica still has her big, frizzy hair.]
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
Chandler: They left.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Chandler: (Still looks confused) They loved it.
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
(They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
(they shake hands the way friends would. There's a muffin on the table, and Ross breaks off a piece and wants to put it in his mouth.)