words in movies
Ross: I found a note on my door, "Come to Monicas quick, bring champagne and a Three Musketeers bar."
[Cut to Monica out on the balcony.]
[Cut to Monica.]
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Monica: Okay! Wait-wait-wait! Shhh! (Bangs on her class with a spoon to make a toast.) Okay, umm, I just wanna say that I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. (Chandler clears his throat.) Our special night. I mean it just wouldnt be myour-our night, if you all werent here to celebrate with meusDamnit!
Chandler: Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.
Monica: Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.
Chandler: To Monica!
(They all say to Monica, clink their glasses, and drink.)
Rachel: Yeah Pheebs, honey, she just got engaged a couple of hours ago. I doubt shes even had time to
Rachel: (To Monica) Yeah, youre on your own.
Monica: Yknow what we should do? We should all get dressed up and go to have champagne at The Plaza.
(They all agree and start to go and get ready.)
Joey: But I-I-I cant stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. Im supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Chandler: Theres gonna be a wedding. Youre gonna be the bride. Two hundred people are going to be looking at you in a clean white dress.
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Chandler: Oh, dont worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is playing Playstation, Crash Team Racing to be exact (hes in last on Hot Air Skyway to be more exact) as Joey enters from his room desperately trying to look like a 19-year-old. Hes got the wool cap, hes got the cut-off Knicks jersey over the faded T-shirt, and hes got the whole pants-around-the-knees-showing-off-the-boxers thing that rich, white, suburban kids have adopted in a desperate and extremely futile attempt to try to look like theyre from the inner-city.]
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
Chandler: Its happened to you?
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Phoebe: Im sorry, but I just wrote the best dance song for your wedding. Check this out. (Gets ready to play.)
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Phoebe: Okay. (She goes to get ready.)
Monica: Ill get everybody else (Does so), finally we can start celebrating my(She gasps and is stopped by the sight of Ross and Rachel making out in the hall.) Im sorry, uh apparently Ive opened the door to the past.
Monica: See, Ive been waiting my whole life to be engaged, and unlike some people Im only planning on doing this once. So, uh yknow, maybe this is selfish and Im sorry about it, but I was kinda hoping tonight could just be about that.
Phoebe: What a great night, Chandler cant do it, these guys kissed (Points to Ross and Rachel.)
Ross: And; people thinking its huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
Monica: No-no, I-I really dont want to talk about it! I dont! (To Rachel) Especially with you. (Goes into her room.)
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
Rachel: Yknow what, I-I have to go talk to her, would you let me just get changed?
Rachel: Am I going to let you watch me undress?
Chandler: Now Monica, I know youre upset, but dont forget. There is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then theres going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris.
(They start making out and both start to feel something growing below the belt line.)
Phoebe: Yknow, just some good faith money to hold the date.
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
(Monica opens the door to Ross and Rachel.)
Rachel: Monica, what did you mean before when you said you didnt want to talk to anyone, especially me?
Chandler: What a great apology! (To Monica) And you accept! Okay, bye-bye!
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, heres a thought.
Monica: My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Rachel: Ugh, Monica I dont want to steal your stupid thunder!
Chandler: (To Ross) Why to save your dignity my man.
Rachel: (ignoring them) Monica, why? Why would I ever want to take away from your night?
Rachel: Oh wow. Thatyknow what? That is so unfair. Yknow what? Now I want to steal your thunder! Come on Ross, lets go have sex!
(Ross tries to dismiss it by making that sound, but decides to go for it and follows Rachel.)
[Cut to Rachels bedroom.]
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Chandler: How is that ever going to happen?!
Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Chandler: (To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
Ross: (deadpan) Well, Im going to take off. (To Chandler) Congratulations man.
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Chandler: Okay. (Goes back to bed.)
Monica: Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? Cause I dont think you have to wear it unless you are!
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
(Rachel looks all around as if all the eyes in the chapel were looking at her as the picture fades to black.)
Monica: (To Monica) Danny. Are you guys ever gonna go out again?
CHANDLER: I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.
Monica: (To Rachel) Oh, are the drapes still closed hon?
Gary: I want you to move in with me.
JOEY: Oh, Richard's here. I should run down say bye to him (runs out)
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues to cry.]
Rachel: Oh thank you. Hey yknow, Im so sorry to hear about you and Elizabeth.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Joey: Are you kidding me? Watch! (Makes funny faces trying to cry) Well I cant do it with you guys watching me!
Monica: (interrupting him) No-no-no, dont-dont do the accent. Youve got to see her again.
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (goes over to the door.)
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
Chandler: What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Chandler: What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?!
Joey: If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Dr. Green: Oh? Really? Thats what my daughter means to you? Nothing?
Joey: (to Monica) Did that guy really make that joke?
Monica: I'll take it down to 95% but that's the best I can do.
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
Monica: Chandler, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn't you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Rachel: Well, we were going to do that afterI mean umm, next.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Alice: Weve been trying to get pregnant, uh pretty much ever since we got engaged, we thought wed get a jump on things, yknow no ones getting any younger.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
[They sit up, moaning in excitement, and Cheryl straddles Ross. Ross finds a slice of bologna and moans higher and louder, then a bag of potato chips on the coffee table starts to move. Ross throws Cheryl off his lap, grabs a tennis racket and a toilet brush and starts pounding the bag.]
(Monica and Mike start to play ping pong. Mike scores)
CHANDLER: Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Paul: How to make the next one even shorter?
Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.
Phoebe: Ohh!! God! (Gary enters and she sees him) Ooh! (To Chandler) Get out of here, good for nothing.
Chandler: He didnt say anything about that to me.
Ross: (entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?
Phoebe: Hey, are you going to find out the sex of the baby?
Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
Hold Voice: Please stay on the line. Youre call is very important to us.
(Monica walks down to Erica's legs to watch the birth.)
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, Joey broke it. Had to get rid of it.
Rachel: (To Dina) Really? (Nods her head at Bobby.)
Melissa: Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight.
ROSS: (standing up) Uh, I like to, uh, to add something to that...
Roger: I dunno. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
Joey: Really? It sounds exactly the same to me.
Rachel: Yeah, we wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower, and now you dont have either.
Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)
Chandler: You are not going to believe what I did today!
(Chandler enters and sees what they're watching, panics, and runs to turn off the TV.)
Monica: Fine. (Starts to walk away then she runs over and grabs an orange before she exits.) Go! Go! Go!
Chandler: You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired.
Rachel: Jill, honey, I think this is the best thing that couldve ever happened to you. I mean you needed to get out on your own anyway! And you know when I did it, I-I-I at first I was scared, and look at me now! Im the only daughter dad is proud of! Okay, well this is, this is what youre gonna do. Youre gonna get a job, youre gonna get an apartment, and then Ill help you and you can stay with us. Right Pheebs, she can stay with us?
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
(Steve goes over to look at Ross who's trying to look cool, but has some frosting on his lip.)
[cut to Joey as Estelle, Joeys agent, approaches]
Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
Monica: Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
Phoebe: Okay, we're gonna take a short break. (Goes over to their table)
Rachel: Oh, its so easy for you I mean, youre not married, you get to have sex with who ever you want!
Rachel: (laughs) Wow! Umm, yknow, I-I would really love to, but I-I shouldnt.
[Cut to inside. Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?