words in movies
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
PHOE: Although, you know what? You might want to consider wearing underwear next time. Yeah, cause when you sat down on your throne you could kind of see your... royal subject.
ROSS: I don't want to.
MNCA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. [Reads from paper] In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiana was able to achieve brilliant new levels of... continued on page 153...[turns it] sucking.
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
PHOE: Oh, we were just trying to make Joey feel better.
FBOB: Hey, do you need me to pick you up?
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
FBOB: OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? [everyone raises their hands] I'm still gonna go.
MNCA: And for our two-week anniversary, he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin for the weekend.
RACH: We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys. [walks over to table, holding five empty wine bottles]
MNCA: Well, we just happen to go to alot of places where you might drink. I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or... or to a club, or to the... zoo.
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
RACH: Yeah, we're gonna... we're gonna get some cake. [Phoebe and Rachel go to counter.]
FBOB: Well, I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
FBOB: OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know... I always made excuses about it, like... uhhh... 'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'C'mon, it's Flag Day.'
PHOE: [comes back to couch, with cake] Sooo, what's goin' on, huh?
PHOE: Oh, well, we have to celebrate. You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.
RACH: Oh, I know, I'm sorry you guys. You're just gonna have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.
ESTL: Stop saying you're not talented, you're very talented. It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? [a knock on the door] Oooh, ooh, I'll talk to you later.
JOEY: OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady...
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
[Monica returns to couch next to Fun Bobby.]
FBOB: I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood but apparently there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
MNCA: Ahhh, hey honey? Don't you have to be at your interview now?
RACH: Maybe it was just the kind of story where you have to be there.
RACH: Hi Russ, I've just got two more tables to clean and then we'll go, OK?
[Phoebe walks up to Rachel, cleaning tables.]
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
ROSS: See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
CHAN: [not knowing how to react] Oh my... God?
CHAN: Well, I... I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I need to know.
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
CHAN: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
JOEY: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
FBOB: If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it.
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
ROSS: [to Russ] For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark.
CHAN: No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
RACH: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
RACH: Why would I have to sleep with you?
FBOB: Uh, can I talk to you a minute?
FBOB: This is really hard for me to say.
FBOB: Look, I am just not strong enough to be in a codependent relationship right now, OK?
CHAN: I'll take one. Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant.
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Joey: Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Chandler: All right look, Im changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Rachel: Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you?
Chandler: All right, let me in. (He jumps off of the counter to join in the game.)
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
MONICA: Because, you were mean to me and you, you teased me and you always, always got your way.
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Joey: That doesnt sound like thinking to me!
Ross: Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Rachel: I dont want you to see me naked!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
(they all start to dive for the ball and Monica and Ross grab it at the same time.)
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Mike: You don't have to go home tonight, do you?
(Monica goes to change.)
(He gets up to walk out, but Helena spots and stops him.)
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Phoebe why dont you just call her? You obviously want to.
Ross: (to the rest of the gang) Were just gonna be friends.
Dr. Long: Well youre only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. Itll be a while.
David: Oh, uh... we just uh... happen to wear the same shade.
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Chandler: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Phoebe: Yeah, come to papa.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey-hey, or I could bring my keyboard over here sometime!
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
Cheryl: So you want to come inside?
Joey: I bet ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Tag: But Im not gay. And I especially wouldnt want you to think I was gay.
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.