words in movies
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?
Rachel: Well, I'll probably be back to pick her up around six, but she's in the bedroom all ready to go. But she did actually fall back to sleep, so...
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Ross: Yeah? Any names come to mind?
Joey: Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Rachel: I was just asking 'cause I need someone to watch Emma tonight.
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Joey: What? I'm not allowed to know smart women?
Joey: I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
Phoebe: What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off, but we don't tell Ross, and he goes to the restaurant and gets stood up!
Chandler: I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?
(She runs to the bathroom, while Chandler starts acting like a chicken in front of Emma. Emma is silent, however.)
Chandler: I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.
Chandler: I am not working. There's not much to do around here!
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Chandler: Horrifying? Scarring? Something people go to jail for?
Monica: But what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
Steve (staring at Rachel): I - I just have to say this; you're really beautiful.
Steve: I lost it. To drugs.
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Monica: Yes, but we have to be fast.
(They run to the bedroom and close the door carefully just as Joey enters.)
(Emma starts making noises, and Joey walks over to her playpen.)
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
Ross: Wow, free crab cakes. Well, that's nice. Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Monica: Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
(They walk over to the playpen.)
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Chandler: All right, all right, we were. We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
(Joey starts to leave.)
Steve: Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me?
Rachel: All right, well that's good to know. Good night, Steve.
(She walks over to Central Perk and enters to find Ross sitting on the couch, eating crab cakes. She takes off her coat while groaning and shuddering.)
Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...
Rachel: Well, he makes t-shirts for a living, and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.
[Cut to outside. Phoebe and Joey are walking down the street to Central Perk.]
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
[Cut to inside Central Perk.]
[Cut to outside Central Perk.]
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Joey: Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Chandler: All right look, Im changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Rachel: Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you?
Chandler: All right, let me in. (He jumps off of the counter to join in the game.)
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
MONICA: Because, you were mean to me and you, you teased me and you always, always got your way.
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Joey: That doesnt sound like thinking to me!
Ross: Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Rachel: I dont want you to see me naked!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
MNCA: Ahhh, hey honey? Don't you have to be at your interview now?
(they all start to dive for the ball and Monica and Ross grab it at the same time.)
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Mike: You don't have to go home tonight, do you?
(Monica goes to change.)
(He gets up to walk out, but Helena spots and stops him.)
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Phoebe why dont you just call her? You obviously want to.
Ross: (to the rest of the gang) Were just gonna be friends.
Dr. Long: Well youre only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. Itll be a while.
David: Oh, uh... we just uh... happen to wear the same shade.
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Chandler: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Phoebe: Yeah, come to papa.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey-hey, or I could bring my keyboard over here sometime!
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
Cheryl: So you want to come inside?
Joey: I bet ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Tag: But Im not gay. And I especially wouldnt want you to think I was gay.
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]