words in movies
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Rachel: So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me.
Rachel: Shh.. Go back to sleep. I have to go home.
Monica: To use the bathroom.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Ross: Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk.
Ross: I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together.
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
(Monica walks down to Erica's legs to watch the birth.)
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
Doctor: Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: (to the doctor) Wait, did you know it was twins?
Monica: (to Erica) Anybody tell you?
Chandler: Interesting! (To Monica) Can I see you for a second?
(They walk over to the door.)
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
(Monica and Chandler run back to Erica's bed.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough!
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Ross: Nothing! What do you say to that?
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.
Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.
(Rachel walks up to the counter.)
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Gunther: I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you.
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
(The nurses take Erica to the recovery room. Monica and Chandler smile at each other.)
Chandler: I know! You ready to trade?
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Ross: No, and I'm not going to.
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
Phoebe: How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night.
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
(He shows them a beautiful banner he has made. It reads, "Welcome to the World, Baby Bing.")
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
(They all walk over to see the baby.)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Chandler: Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
Monica: I'm just so glad you got to see the babies.
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
(She pulls him over to the door.)
Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it.
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
Joey: Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
(Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.)
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport.
Man: Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare.
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
(They drive up to a toll-booth.)
(Ross tries to open a plastic bag filled with quarters, but he's quite slow.)
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
Phoebe: You have to get a ticket to get past security.
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
[Scene: The gate. Rachel walks up to the man at the gate and gives him her passport.]
Phoebe: Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?
(She runs up to the gate and the gate attendant standing there.)
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Ross: Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?
(She holds the phone down to the twins.)
(She holds down the phone to the twins again.)
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler are still trying to get the birds out of the foosball-table.]
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
Joey: I need to say goodbye to the table first.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
(Monica grabs the hammer and the crowbar and gets ready to bust it open.)
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Phoebe: Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane.
(The passenger in the seat next to Rachel looks at her and seems a little nervous.)
Rachel: Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris.
Passenger #1: I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange.
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
Ross: No, no, I just have to talk to someone.
(Rachel comes back to the gate.)
Ross: I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane.
Rachel: I - I have to get on the plane.
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway.
Phoebe: He went home. He didn't want to see anybody.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I need to tell someone that I love love them.
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
Ross: Try to understand!
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer?
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
Rachel: (crying) Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: Wait! Youre supposed to wear a costume!
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
Ross: She does want to.
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Ross: What? (to Sophie) Sophie, does she have ten minutes?
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (starts to light another cigarette.)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too.
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Ross: Ugh, shes saying good-bye to her uncle.
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Phoebe: Why dont you go up there and ask him to step lightly, please?
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
[Cut to the hallway.]
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Ross: Okay, I don't think it's going to pivot anymore.
(Joey throws the ball to Chandler)
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
Joey: Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work.
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Rachel: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?
Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.
(Another little girl walks over to him.)
Chandler: See Joe, we want you to tell stories but yknow, romantic stories. Nice stories.
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Pete: Dont worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponents strength and weight against him.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Chandler: Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! (Holds up the piece of paper bearing the proof of his ordination.)
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.