words in movies
Chandler: Hey! Ready to go?
Joey: Hey Ross, check this out! (he tries to spin a basketball on his fingertip but he throws it against a table) yeah, I can't do that!
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Chandler: Great, a faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless .
Ross: It's actually kinda interesting to find out what people are doing... remember Andrea Rich?
Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room)
Joey: (he stops Chandler from posting the message) No, no, no... what do... you can't do that to him!
Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands)
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
Joey: Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy.
Rachel: Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Joey: (placing Hugsy back in the crib) There you go sweetie... (to Emma) This isn't over.
Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Monica: No, no! Give it to me!
Monica: Give it to me!
Rachel: Joey, Emma's right here! You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
Joey: (to the new Hugsy) You're not the same!
Phoebe: You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Monica: Who's that? (goes to open door)
Monica: (To Mike) What are you doing here?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
Mike: Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder.
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
(Phoebe and Mike sit next to each other)
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
Mike: (to Phoebe) You look really beautiful.
Chandler: Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize... (looks at laptop screen)..don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
Rachel: (to herself) Oh God.
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Rachel: Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!
Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Phoebe: I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Mike: It can't be any harder than this... I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped.
Mike: My friend Manny. I asked him to keep me away from you.
Manny: Oh yeah yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing!
Ross: Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone?
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
Joey: Oh wellHey-hey! Maybe, maybe uh, maybe this is a good thing. Yknow? Itll-itll give you a chance to shake things up, play different characters. Youre so talented.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
Phoebe: Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! (Whips back the sheet to reveal him wearing new pajamas.)
Mike: (disbelieving) I think I will be all right! (to Monica) You wanna volley a bit for a serve?
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
Phoebe: Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought yknow that if Id work with stocks, Id have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox.
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
PRODUCER: OK Phoebe, you ready to try one?
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
RACHEL: Aaah.� (She goes to tend Emma.)
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
(They quickly take their places and Here Comes the Bride Begins to play. Everyone seated looks back. Emily is being escorted up the aisle by her father. She kisses him on the cheek and takes her place by Rosss side.)
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Chandler: Why? What happened to him?
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Pheebs, youve been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isnt healthy.
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Rachel: (to Joanne) So what's going on with you?
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Ross: Yeah, I guess I should. (Starts to leave.) Man, yknow what I have to realize? Maybe Im just not the type of guy women can have just one night with. Yknow, they-they always seem to want a little bit more. I should remember that. (He pauses and then exits.)
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
[Cut to Monica and Rachel at their table.]
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(She serves to Doug who returns it to Chandler. As it bounces over his head Chandler swings and misses.)
(Phoebe turns to leave but notices an attractive man.)
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Janine: Well, I don't think there is anything to do. I mean I think you're really sweet, but I'm just not interested in you like that.
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Phoebe: Its a trip for two! (She gets up and takes off her blouse-type thingy shes wearing over her dress.) Excuse me. (She walks over to table four.) Excuse me, is the person who won the Paris trip at this table?
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still talking to Earl.]
Rachel: Oh my God! You got her to stop crying!
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
PHOEBE: Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!
Ross: Oh, god. (He puts his head down on the grill) You know, this is still pretty hot. (He picks his head up, and a mushroom sticks to his head. Carol picks it off and eats it.)
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
[Time lapse, Ross is drinking something and decides to get Rachel again.]
Chandler: Look, you dont have to draw an actual wowhoa! Shes hot!
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeths flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Monica: (going over to him) Im so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.
Rachel: Yeah, I didnt want you to get hit by the boom!
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they’re ready to play]
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Monica: Now Joey, you go down there and you suck up to him. I mean you suck like youve never sucked before!
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Phoebe: Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself.
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Mr. Kaplan: Ill bet your thinking, Whats an intelligent girl who wants to be in fashion, doing making coffee? Eh?
Ross: You don't have to do that, I'll pay for myself. But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys - that's so sweet! Come here (they kiss and hug)
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Monica: (to Joey) OK, try this salmon mousse.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
Joey: Oh, ahh, go to the window. Im wanna run down to the truck and show you something.
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Rachel: (to Ross) Yeah, right. Look at you, youre practically giddy.
Karin: I am so attracted to him right now.
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
(He throws it back to Ross, but it's intercepted by Monica and the guys both scream in horror.)
Joey: Rach, its, its ah, its not that we dont want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Monica: Yeah, well I dont think it really counts if you have to read them off the back of your hand after you fall asleep on the couch.
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Chandler: Yes, but this is Pete. Okay? Hes not like other people, on your first date he took you to Rome. For most guys thats like a third or fourth date kinda thing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is getting ready to sing. Joey is not there.]
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
{Transcribers Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? Its a tradition left over from Porsches racing history. The worlds greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The drivers left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. Thats why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
Chandler: Okay, okay, so we get to take that stupid troll thing home!
Joey: Yeah, I can dance, y'know. (starts to dance really, really, really badly)
RICHARD: Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, so they can tell grown ups to cut it out.
Ross: Okay, after you told me she was passed out in our room, I went in there to make sure she was all right. She was lying on my bed, all buried in peoples coats. Well, I went to kiss her on the forehead, you know. But it was so dark, I accidentally got her lips. I started to pull away, but then I felt her start to kiss me back. It was only for a second, but... it was amazing. And now, now I find out that you kissed her first.