words in movies
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Mark: Um, y'know, before we go ah, theres something I need to say.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
[Scene: A Theatre, Joey is arriving to rehearse the play hes in.]
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
Kate: Hi, nice to meet you. Kate Miller.
(She goes over to the snack table, and Joey quickly runs over and pours her a cup of coffee.)
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Kate: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! Youre-youre-youre the guy that doesnt know how to pour milk!!
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Ross: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something?
Ross: Im just trying to help you, move on.
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
Pete: I got to go, so ah, Ill see you guys later.
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Kate: Well, I dont understand why Adriennes attracted to Victor.
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Mark: No. And I dont think Im gonna want to.
Mark: Yep. Yep, thats what I didnt want to know.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Mark: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here!
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
Pete: (to Monica) Hey, can I ask you something?
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Monica: I so wanna be attracted to you.
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
Pete: Yeah, stupidly charming isnt it? Well listen lets, you wanna get something to eat? Cause this place is kinda depressing. (they start to leave)
Pete: (to Monica) One second.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
The Director: You ready to go?
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Phoebe: Okay well, he would turn things to gold.
Joey: (still singing) " Amy! Happy birthday to you!"
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Rachel: What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass?
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is playing Emily's message to Monica.]
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
[The camera cuts to show the couch, which has been cut in half.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
Rachel: What, because thats your answer to everything?
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Chandler: Yeah, you wish. (Stops to think about it and gets depressed.)
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Danny: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Wayne: I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, yknow Sarah?
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Monica: Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But Im-Im done now. Theyve suffered enough.
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
Monica: Im not talking to her!
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Rachel: (on tape) Oh I wanted to.
Ross: And; people thinking its huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!
Rachel: Oh my God! Did you get to see anything good?
Rachel: Good luck to you.
Susan: (To Emily) Thanks for everything, I had such a great time.
Rachel: Have to make it stop!!
Chandler: (to Joey) So, a professor, uh?
[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]
[Cut to later, Phoebe is finishing off her steak.]
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Ross: Rach, c�mon, Emma is fine. You�re turning into an obsessive mother. Okay, you need to stop.
Chandler: The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them?
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Ross: Oh ah, I think you know where I want to go.
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
Felicity: (Putting her arm around Joey.) Are you going home? I was hoping to get to know you better.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Chandler: (nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Rachel: Say hi to Wally.
Monica: I I have to fire him.
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Rachel: We've got to find a new pediatrician. Ross was getting sick last night, and I think Emma may have caught it.
Joey: I dont know, maybe we werent ready to have a chick.
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
[Cut to the flashback, Chandlers no longer doing the voice-over.]
DR. BURKE: So, it's great to see ya.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
RACH: Hi, I'm sorry, I need to borrow your phone for just one minute.
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
Chandler: I didn't nail the boxes to the floor.
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
Monica: Yeah! Shes right in there! (Points to Phoebes room.)
(She turns to get her vows from Rachel.)
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
Rachel: (pause) And Monica, what are you going to make?
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
Ross: So if you take this job you'll be moving to Paris?
Rachel: Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)
(Chandler does the same nasal sound to Chandler.)
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Ross: What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van!
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Ross: Now you are going to love these.
Monica: I'll get back to my new job.
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Rachel: Oh, umm, okay, yeah, I'll be, yeah I'll be right back. (Goes to her room.)
Monica: You have to!
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Paul: Good. Bye! (Starts to leave.)
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
[Scene: Elizabeth's apartment; Elizabeth is inquiring as to the delay in Ross's exit from her bathroom.]
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
(Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.)