words in movies
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Mark: Um, y'know, before we go ah, theres something I need to say.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Chandler: Yeah, either that, or Gloria Estefan was right, eventually, the rhythm is going to get you.
[Scene: A Theatre, Joey is arriving to rehearse the play hes in.]
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
Kate: Hi, nice to meet you. Kate Miller.
(She goes over to the snack table, and Joey quickly runs over and pours her a cup of coffee.)
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Kate: That info-mercial! For the milk carton spout thing! Youre-youre-youre the guy that doesnt know how to pour milk!!
(Gunther tries to swoop in to ask Rachel out.)
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Ross: So Rachel called. Wants to see me. Going over in a minute.
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Ross: You ah, wanted to see me?
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me? Or something?
Ross: Im just trying to help you, move on.
Ross: Oh-oh, okay, okay! (He quickly takes off his sweater in order to put on the T-shirt. Its an old Frankie says relax T-shirt, that barely fits him. Rachel nods her head in approval of the new look.) If you dont mind Im gonna the rest of my stuff, and relax, in my favourite shirt. (Starts to leave) You have a pleasant evening. (He exits and leaves the door open.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang minus Rachel and Ross are talking to Pete.]
Pete: I got to go, so ah, Ill see you guys later.
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
The Director: Tasty! Im really starting to feel like you guys have a history, its-its nice.
Kate: Well, I dont understand why Adriennes attracted to Victor.
[Rachel comes out of her apartment, followed by Mark, and they leave on their date, without saying a word to Ross. Ross is stunned.]
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
Ross: Okay, I have to do something. I mean, I have, I have to stop it!
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Mark: No. And I dont think Im gonna want to.
Mark: Yep. Yep, thats what I didnt want to know.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Mark: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here!
Spokeswoman: ...has become the penicillin of the twenty-first century. And so today, this hospital is about to take major steps toward leading that revolution. It is truly ironic, on one hand consider the size...
Pete: (to Monica) Hey, can I ask you something?
Monica: So I did tell you. Okay, y'know, that really isnt the thing. Umm, the thing is that, right now Im just in a place in my life where I need to focus on me. Y'know what I mean?
Monica: I so wanna be attracted to you.
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
Pete: Yeah, stupidly charming isnt it? Well listen lets, you wanna get something to eat? Cause this place is kinda depressing. (they start to leave)
Pete: (to Monica) One second.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting in one of the black chairs, and turns to face the other one.]
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Chandler: (to Joey) I wasnt doing anything. (Joey starts angrily throwing his stuff down.) Uh-oh, what did she do now?
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
The Director: You ready to go?
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Phoebe: Okay well, he would turn things to gold.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Phoebe: What?! They took mine to give to you!
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Vince: (starting to cry) Im sorry, I cant talk. Im gonna go write in my journal. (walks away)
Phoebe: Well, she really wanted to talk to you now.
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
(The couple moves up to the counter.)
(They go up to the counter.)
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya.
Steve: Yeah. So, do you want to give a check? Or
Chandler: Thats a mailman! Thats our mailman! (Waves to the mailman) (Sarcastic) Hi. How are ya?
Chandler: (with phone to ear, obviously hearing no dial tone) Paid your phone bill?
(They all walk over to get a slice.)
JOEY: Ok, uh, hey Richard, if you had an extra ticket to the Knicks game and you had to choose between a friend who smells and one who bruises you who would you pick?
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Rachel: And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
David: ...But, you can't actually test this theory, because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough to simulate these conditions.
Rachel: Shes actually very sweet and we used to be very close.
CHANDLER: Ohhh [turns as if to hug someone] Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one.
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachels Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.]
Joey: Well, what did you say to her?
Chandler: Oh youve got to be kidding me.
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
Rachel: Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
Joey: I dont want them to move to a Volvo dealership!
Ross: No, because thats the right thing to do.
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
(Ross leans in to give Chandler his vows.)
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Rachel: Oh, well, actually we were just talking about me not going to Rosss wedding.
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Ross: Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go.
Ross: Come here to me. No-no, you come here to me.
Chandler: We really didnt get a chance to
Phoebe: You have got to be kidding me!
Chandler: (To Monica) I told you I should not wear this color. (Hes wearing a reddish-orange sweater.)
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Joey: Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)
Rachel: I just y'know, I didnt expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh! (sits down on the curb)
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Ross: (forcing the door open) Come on, Rachel, come on! Talk to me! Please!!
Rachel: You went shopping?! What, and then you just came in here and paraded it right under Jills nose when you know shes trying to quit. Wow, you guys are terrible!
Joey: (still singing) " Amy! Happy birthday to you!"
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Rachel: What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass?
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Ross: (entering) Rachel wont talk to me! She wont even open the door!
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is playing Emily's message to Monica.]
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
[The camera cuts to show the couch, which has been cut in half.]
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel is still trying to talk up Ross, not to much success.]
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Ross: Really? Well then tell it to me.
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: We are going to have a legitimate member of the clergy! And when I say legitimate I mean, gay and in control of his saliva!
Rachel: What, because thats your answer to everything?
Chandler: Eh, forget about the future and stuff! So we only have two kids, y'know? We'll pick our favorite and that one will get to go to college.
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Ross: Well, thats what Im here for. (Emma starts crying again) Want me to get that?
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is trying to explain himself to Monica.]
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
(As shes saying that Joey is to pull out a chair and sit down, only Matthew comes running in from off camera and dives for the same chair.)
Chandler: Yeah, you wish. (Stops to think about it and gets depressed.)
Phoebe: Whatever, its the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyways.
Danny: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.
Ross: Is Rachel here? I gotta talk to her.
(In the rooms next door, Joey, Rachel, Ross and Charlie stop kissing and try to understand what the yelling was about. After a while they continue kissing. We're back in Chandler and Monica's room. Monica has some of her own hair stuffed in her mouth by Chandler.)
Joey: (To Phoebe) Im so happy!
Wayne: I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, yknow Sarah?
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Monica: Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But Im-Im done now. Theyve suffered enough.
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers just after Monica has finished telling Chandler what happened.]
Monica: Im not talking to her!
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Rachel: (on tape) Oh I wanted to.
Ross: And; people thinking its huge has led Monica to believe that we are stealing her thunder. (To Monica) Which we are not!
Rachel: Oh my God! Did you get to see anything good?
Rachel: Good luck to you.
Susan: (To Emily) Thanks for everything, I had such a great time.