words in movies
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, everyone is getting ready to go to a banquet]
Ross: No, four minutes ago you had a half hour, we have to be out the door at twenty to eight.
Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
Ross: No. (to Rachel) So, um, let's see your pretty close, huh. Make-up's on, hair's done.
Rachel: Yeah, I just have to get dressed.
Ross: Uh, huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.
Ross: You see this, this is a person who is ready to go. Phoebe you, oh, you are my star.
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
Chandler: Well, it's not like I went to Spain. I went to the bathroom, you knew I was coming back.
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Chandler: All right, Ross, I just have to do one thing, really quickly, it's not a big deal. (yells at Joey) GET UP!!
Monica: (to Ross) Ooh, are you gonna do magic?
Phoebe: We could not, would not want to wait.
Phoebe: (on machine) "Hi, it's me, I'm coming over now. Hey, what if I'm already there when your playing this message?" (to the guys) Is that too spooky?
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
Ross: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
Chandler: Maybe he's calling to say your obsessive and crazy.
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Monica: I know the code to his answering machine.
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Ross: Oh, great. It's starting to rain, that will make it easy to get a cab.
Rachel: Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Joey: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's room, wearing a huge bow to cover the stain) Okay, I'm ready.
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Monica: (entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Phoebe: I'll get it, okay. (answers phone) Hi, Monica and Rachel's. (listens) Yeah, just a second, can I ask who's calling. (to Monica) Oh, ew, it's Michelle! Ew! She, she must have that Caller Id thing. You should get that.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
Monica: Okay, fine. (runs to her room)
Ross: You're not going to go.
Ross: Okay. You know that I-I have to go.
Ross: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!
Joey: Yeah, Ross, way to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed.
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Ross: Hi, welcome, to an adult conversation.
Ross: Okay, okay. If that is what it takes to show you how much you mean to me, and how much I want you there. Then that's what I'll do.
Ross: I think this will be fine. Okay, vanilla milkshake, just a vanilla milkshake, with chicken bits floating in it. Cheers. (starts to drink, but Rachel stops him just before he starts drinking)
Ross: (to Joey) How 'bout instead you, go get changed! (to Chandler) You, give him back his underwear! I'm gonna go get a cab, and I want everyone down stairs in two minutes! Monica!
(Joey and Chandler start to leave, Joey is lunging as he is walking)
Phoebe: Ross, went to get a cab so we can all... No, wh-what are you doing! No, Monica, no!
Machine: Message erased. To record a message begin speaking at the tone.
Rachel: And I still have about five seconds to spare. (kisses him) Okay, that was about seven seconds.
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Whitfield: (sits down) Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written.
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Monica: Oh, just so you know, you-you have to let him win.
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Rachel: Am I going to let you watch me undress?
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Ross: Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that.
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?
Joey: But you two were supposed to be together.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Monica: Werent you asked to leave sonny?
Rachel: (To Monica) Do you have to go?
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Monica: NOW!!!!!!!! (Rachel runs off and Monica gets up to follow her.)
Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Rachel: My boss wants to buy my baby!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Youre not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Chandler: I figured Id buy those. Pat, Id like to buy a vow. (Laughs)
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Joey: Uh, we stars just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Monica: Promise to call me when you land.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Ross: well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents.
Mike: Hey, so are you sure your ready to go.
Phoebe: I know, I just want to bite his bottom lip. (Rachel looks at her) But I won't.
Phoebe: (goes to cry) No
Chandler: Yeah. Well, I think our second fight is going to be a big one!
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
(Monica goes to the back and Joey looks at the girl)
Monica:: yeah he has to stay in Tulsa this weekend
Hayley: I would love to go out with you.
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Phoebe: Still, he had to find out sometime.
Rachel: Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me.
Monica: Well at least, Im going to mute it.
Chandler: (Continuing his toast.) And Im sure were all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean to think, my friend getting married in Monty Hall. (No reaction from the people.) Ohh, come on!! Monty Hall!! Lets make a Deal!! Come on, you people!! All right, forget it!! Congratulations, Ross and Emily. (He sits down.)
Monica:: Ok (sits down next to him) This is how much I love you. (She presses play then puts her arm around Chandler's neck.)
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
Ross: yeah I really, really need to talk to you about something.
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
Ross: What happened to the Disgustingtons?
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Tag: So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon?
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
JOEY: Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said to Chandler? I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."
Rachel: (To Monica) Oh, you did this to him?
Chandler: And I will cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and do anything in there! (Points to the bedroom.)