words in movies
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Monica: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Rachel: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Monica: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
Dr. Oberman: Oh no, I'm fully qualified to
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Phoebe: I want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
Dan: Nice to meet you.
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Dan: Nah that's okay. I'm just doing this to put myself through medical school.
Dan: Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift.
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Frank: Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! (To Rachel) Hi!
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
[Cut to the delivery room.]
[Cut to the waiting room, a triumphant Frank rushes in.]
Frank: So gross! (He runs back to the delivery room.)
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Dr. Harad: Okay. You ready to push again?
[Cut to the waiting room, a twice triumphant Frank returns.]
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
[Cut to the waiting room, a thrice triumphant Frank returns again.]
Alice: (Starting to cry) Oh, we have our babies.
Joey's Doctor: Would you like to see them? (He hands Joey a little jar.)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Anchorwoman: (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys wont live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
RACHEL: Oh as, as opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Phoebe: So do you want to hang out or something?
tip the scales in my direction. Check it out, you can probably see it from the window. (They all head to the window.)
[Cut to the hallway, Phoebe is outside getting some last minute instructions from Rachel.]
Joey: You lied to me!
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?!
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Rachel: Morning. You wanted to see me?
Rachel: Yeah. (Motions for him to continue.)
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
[She closes the door in his face. Ross walks sullenly back to the couch and sits down. A moment of silence ensues.]
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast, meanwhile there is coast behind him.)
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Monica: My Sweet Sixteen! Remember, you went to third base with my cousin Charlie.
Joey: Pheebs! Pheebs! Ross wants to kiss you at midnight!
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Monica: I can not see him? I mean, you can't tell me what to do!
Ross: Oh Donald that-that would be great. I am totally ready to come back to work. IWhat? (He notices something through the window.) No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monica: Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.
[Cut to Ross in one of those British phone booths.]
Phoebe: Okay, well yknow what, dont worry you guys, cause Im-Im gonna do this as many times as it takes to get it right.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Ross: So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
Carol: Do you want to know?
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
Monica: Yeah, Id really like to.
Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Chandler: You have every reason to be upset. We did lie. But only because we've been waiting and trying to have a baby for so long. Now we don't know how long it's gonna be before we can get another chance again.
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Morse: Im not trying to pull anything. Look I love you dude.
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Ross: What a great idea! That will get Rachel to forgive me!
Phoebe: Of course I do! And Im gonna give it back to you as soon as theyre done with it at the key shining place.
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Rachel: Then, we had this big, stupid fight, and I said I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
(Cut to Phoebe and Parker)
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Jeanette: (to Zack) Here are the boards for Friday's pitch (hands him something).
(Cut to Rachel and Ross)
Amy with straight hair: Oh she's precious. Do you ever worry she's going to get your real nose?
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Woman: (To Ross) So, how did you propose?
Rachel: Shhh! I want to hear the rest!
Rachel: (to Ross) Oh my God!! (she turns around and hugs Mark, not Ross)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
(Cut to Monica, at the microphone)
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
ROSS: Any time. [He doesn't want to let her go]
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Ross: (Putting the bread up to his nose.) Ohh, I just like the smell. (Sniffing it.) Mmmm.
Mrs. Geller: Youre not going to say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Chandler: Stick to your side!
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Ross: Is that supposed to be an insult?
Chandler: Any chance you are trying to pick a fight to make all this easier?
Rachel: Well, that wouldve been very hard to say no too.
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
Rachel: So did they call you to tell you your names gonna be in this?
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Passenger: (Frustrated he takes his headphones off.) Oh, oh oh!! Im sorry, can I interrupt? You know I just want to say..That you are a horrible, horrible person.
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
[Cut to the gang.]
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
[Cut to the interview.]
Rachel: Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
[Cut to the interview.]
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
JOEY: Yeah, you missed, 'Takes money to make money,' and uh, 'Don't make me come down there and kick your wall street butt.'
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Paleontologist: (merrily) Ok Geller. Last day of the conference, you know what happens to the keynote speaker.
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
DR. REMORE: Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
Ross: Look I was going to tell you!