words in movies
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Monica: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Rachel: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Monica: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
Dr. Oberman: Oh no, I'm fully qualified to
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Phoebe: I want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
Dan: Nice to meet you.
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Dan: Nah that's okay. I'm just doing this to put myself through medical school.
Dan: Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift.
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Frank: Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! (To Rachel) Hi!
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
[Cut to the delivery room.]
[Cut to the waiting room, a triumphant Frank rushes in.]
Frank: So gross! (He runs back to the delivery room.)
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Dr. Harad: Okay. You ready to push again?
[Cut to the waiting room, a twice triumphant Frank returns.]
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
[Cut to the waiting room, a thrice triumphant Frank returns again.]
Alice: (Starting to cry) Oh, we have our babies.
Joey's Doctor: Would you like to see them? (He hands Joey a little jar.)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
(cut to later in the day)
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
Chandler: (to the ticket agent) American Express?
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
(Camera pans to Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe in the kitchen)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is trying to move off of the couch as Rachel enters.]
Ross: (gasps) Hi... There she is. Hi Emma. Oh my God, I missed you. (kisses her) Oh Emma, I missed you so much. Hey... Did you have a good time with grandma Green? Huh? Did she give you a bottle of anti-depressants again to use as a rattle? (to Rachel)
Chandler: We really need to take those tests?
(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Phoebe: Well, youre just gonna have to try.
Rachel: Oh, come on! He's glad that I came, he doesn't want me to go anywhere, balls flying all over the place!
[cut back to the present.]
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Ross: Oh no-no-no! Oh-no! (Emily starts to run out and Ross chases her.) No! No! Emily!
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, we forgot that party we have to go to.
LITTLE BULLY: Well then here's the deal, you won't have to so long as never ever show your faces in this coffee house ever again.
Ross: So do we!! So do we!! (Ross notices a couple has been staring at them.) Im sorry you had to see that.
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Joey: No! No! No! No, Im not going to punch Chandler.
Phoebe: (to Leslie) Oh, I thought you werent coming. What? Where were you?
Joey: Uh, can I talk to you for a second, over there?
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
(Chandler walks over to the counter where Phoebe is, and is asking her about the break-up.)
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Ross: No-no, we talked about it. We dont want to know. All we care about is that its happy and healthy.
Chandler: Way to be cool, man.
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
Monica: (to the couple on her left) So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple?
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
Ross: No, no you don't understand the animal hospital is way across town he's choking I don't know what else to do.
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
PHOEBE: I'm not done yet, OK. God. OK, if that goes well, they may even want to make an album.
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.
Joey: If anything should happen to him
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am
[Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
Joey: Okay, listen, hey, Ross. Why don't you try to relax, okay? Maybe have a drink.
Ross: (To the rest of Central Perk) We're rehearsing a Greek play.
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
[Cut back to the present day.]
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Rachel: This is easy...Can't do this! (Moves away...and finds her sweater sleeve stuck to the drawer) Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. (Fiddles more)
Joey: Then you hold on to it!!
[Cut to inside.]
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Joey: Really? To what?
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. I guess we have to eat.
Chandler: Okay, it's his first time out, so he's probably gonna wanna do some of the touristy things. I'll go to Cats, you go to the Russian Tea Room.
RACHEL: Afraid to ask him?
Chandler: (to Nancy) Okay, thanks... (to Monica) They passed. They said they wouldn't go a penny under the asking price.
Rachel: What?! She made the tea! (Points to Monica.)
Rachel: No? (He shakes his head) All right, here's the truth um, Joey said what he said, because um, I'm attracted to you.
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to her father.]
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but iit-t's true, I love him too.
Rachel: So you know, I I handed in that marketing report and I never got to hear what you thought.
Joey: (to Chandler) Dude, Phoebes mom has got a huge peni...
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
[We get back to the Class of '91 reunion, where Ross and Chandler are still looking at Missy.]
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Phoebe: Im a lady Monica, I dont kiss and tell. But this hickey speaks for itself. (She starts to open up her blouse.)
Rachel: Oh Im sorry mummys so sorry go back to sleep go back to sleep. Shh. Shhh! Go back to sleep
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
PHOEBE: We just have to really, really, really, not let stuff like money get--is that a hickey?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Ross: (to the second girl) That was very nice Ashley.
Rachel: Wait a minute, youre only giving free stuff away to the pretty girls?