words in movies
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Hi.
Nurse: Now, which of you is the father? (Points to Joey and Ross)
Nurse: (not sure what to do with that) Okay
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, umm, hi kids! Um, it's me, Aunt Phoebe. I can't wait to see you. Please don't hurt me!
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Monica: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
Rachel: Hi, Pheebs? Okay, so just spoke to the nurse and the reason that your doctor is late is because uh, she's not coming.
Phoebe: That's easy for you to say, I don't see three kids coming out your vagina!
Dr. Harad: Hi! Phoebe, I'm Dr. Harad, I'm going to be delivering your babies. I want you to know, you're gonna be in good hands. I've been doing this for a long time. I'll be back in a minute to do your internal, in the meantime, just relax because everything here looks great. And also, I love Fonzie. (Exits)
Frank: (To Phoebe) Hey! Am I late? Am I late? Nobody came out yet, right?
Rachel: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me, and I also told them that if we're still here when they get off that we'll go down to the cafeteria and have some Jell-O with them.
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
(Phoebe fakes pain to get Ross looking for another doctor.)
Monica: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
Dr. Oberman: Oh no, I'm fully qualified to
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Dr. Harad: Just-just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie. (Phoebe nods in agreement as he leaves.)
Phoebe: I want to keep one. (Giggles in excitement.)
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Rachel: No! Forget it! I am not gonna ask Frank to give you one of his kids!!
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
Dan: Nice to meet you.
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Dan: Nah that's okay. I'm just doing this to put myself through medical school.
Dan: Sure! I'll get somebody to cover my shift.
Chandler: (to another female nurse) Hey, how 'bout it? You, me, Saturday night?
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Frank: Yeah, I love you. Okay, bye! (To Rachel) Hi!
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
Dr. Harad: Oh, no-no-no, it's a good one! Fonzie plays the bongos. All right, are you ready? It's time to start pushing.
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
[Cut to the delivery room.]
[Cut to the waiting room, a triumphant Frank rushes in.]
Frank: So gross! (He runs back to the delivery room.)
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is about to give birth to the middle kid.]
Dr. Harad: Okay. You ready to push again?
[Cut to the waiting room, a twice triumphant Frank returns.]
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
[Cut to the delivery room, Phoebe is at it for the last time.]
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
[Cut to the waiting room, a thrice triumphant Frank returns again.]
Alice: (Starting to cry) Oh, we have our babies.
Joey's Doctor: Would you like to see them? (He hands Joey a little jar.)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Rachel: (entering) Hi. (To Phoebe) Hey, hi! So uh, Frank and Alice wanted me to tell you that they're still outside making phone calls.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Phoebe: Yeah. You won't be able to take it.
Chandler: So uh, now that little Chandler turned out to be a girl, what are they gonna name her?
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.
Mona: I dont understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Rachel: What?! What?! He was trying to cheer me up! My pony was sick.
JOEY: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do. . . so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, [Joey from TV] you know that's bad fo r the paper tray.
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe at the mike.]
Chandler: (to Joey) Okay, that hurt us.
Joey: I want to do it again.
Hombre Man: (to a customer) Hombre? (The guy says yes, and gets his sample.)
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
CHANDLER: Achhh.� It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.� (pause)� Except with you.
Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).
Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
(Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller.)
(Monica leaves and Chandler moves to talk to Phoebe.)
Joey: Wow. (To Ross) Good speech.
Rachel: Oh my God. (starting to cry)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is telling Monica and Rachel what he has to do.]
Rachel: Hi, Im back. Listen, I need to...
Rachel: Phoebe, hi, we�re so sorry. You�re totally right. We are here one hundred per cent and we love you and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
The Doctor: (entering) (To the receptionist) Can I have the next one please? (Takes the form.) Joey and Tony Tribbiani. (Joey and Carl stand up.)
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Elizabeth: Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you.
Monica: Okay, you ready to open yours?
Cecilia: (walking up) Youre absolutely right they are writing me out of the show. They dont know exactly when its going to happen, but apparently going to be very soon and thats it.
Rachel: (Faking cheerfulness.) Hello. Umm, when is your next flight to London?
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Kristen: Oh okay. But yknow what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
Doug: Bing my boy, were gonna get you over this. Now heres the plan, grab your coat, were going to a strip club.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
Wayne: I wish I could talk to her.
Monica: (to the couple) Hi! Can you do that and walk? Cause she said, "Next."
Phoebe: We want you to marry her!
Rachel: Fine. (They start to walk away.)
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Phoebe: I beg to differ (shows him her cup of coffee and her plate of cookies).
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
(They move to kiss, but realise that Chandler is staring at them. Chandler urges them on.)
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big deal?
Monica: Forty-two to twenty-one! Like the turkey, Ross is done!
Rachel: Well dontWhat happened to Jessicas body?!
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Elizabeth: Stop it! (She starts to get all worked up.)
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Joey: Look, I got to apologize on the behalf of Carl.
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Pete: Oh, it's good news. No, it's definitely good news. Hold on a second, I have another call. (clicks his remote) (to his other call) Hey, how's it going?
Steve: Oh hey, Ross. Umm, see, I was thinking maybe you two could switch apartments because Phoebe's more our kind of people. Something to think about. (Walks away.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Chandler: Hey, you know who used to have nails like that?
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.
Chandler: But I am willing to offer her all those things. This was just a plan, yknow? A way to throw her off course so that when I offered her all these things, shed be surprised!
(The phone rings and Chandler goes to get it)
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
[Cut to Living Room]
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because its, I mean its you.
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)