words in movies
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Ross: (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Chandler: (to bartender) Can I get a beer.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Rachel: Im serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
Chandler: Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Monica: So, Ill get-get back to my friend.
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Phoebe: Im just taking it to be re-wired.
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Mr. Heckles: (to Eric) Who are you?
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
Chandler: (leaving to go to work) Hey!
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
Joey: Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Phoebe: Im sorry, I-I-I-I dont live here anymore. I-I didnt know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, its, its gonna be....
(They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
Phoebe: Well, thats not something a girl wants to hear.
Rachel: Dont say anything. I dont wanna speak, I dont wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now.
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
Phoebe: No look, weve apologized twice! I cant do anymore than that. I know you hate it when people are mad at you but you just have to be okay with it.
[Cut to Rachel and Mrs. Green.]
[Scene: The street outside the building, Rachel is running to catch up with Caitlin.]
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Rachel: What? You guys, come on! What am I going to do?
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Rachel: So I don't go back to work for another four weeks, but we would like our nanny to start right away, so that Emma could get a chance to know her.
Chandler: So where are we on the whole going back to the place where they have all the marriages thing? I love you.
(Dr. Long exits and Rachel starts to cry.)
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Chandler: Apology accepted. Excuse us. (They try to enter again.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, they are entering to check out the newly refurbished apartment.]
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Phoebe: Yeah, but they didn't ask me! Y'know? This way I'm just y'know, the exotic, generous stranger. That's always fun to be.
Chandler: Well, can we help?! You want us to take you back to the house?!
Joey: Now, over to Chandler.
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Phoebe: Really?! Oh thats so exciting! Thank you! Thanks Mon! Oh but Mon, if you touch my guitar again Ill have to pound on you for a little bit.
Phoebe: Is it me, or is veto starting to sound really good?
(Charlie now also enters the room, Chandler walks to the bathroom)
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Monica: Youre not dressed yet?! Were supposed to start having fun in 15 minutes!
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
Joey: Check it out, hes winning! (to Monica) Petes winning!
Rachel: It's not here Pheebs, it's not here. Ohh, I went to Joey and Chandler's last night! Okay! (Goes to the door.)
Chandler: Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.
JOEY: See after the scene, Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says 'good actor, bad kisser'. Can you believe that, me not a good kisser, that's like, like Mother Theresa, not a good mother.
Rachel: (handing her the wine) Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Monica to Ross: Hi.
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Ross to Monica: Hi.
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Monica to Emma: Hey you.
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Ross: Absolutely. (Very Squeaky.) I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, (deep voice) I'm fine. I'm not saying I wasn't a little surprised to see you guys kissing. I mean, at first I was like.. (Screams.) But now that I've had time to absorb it; Lovin' this.
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
(They start to look around seeing that the living room is undamaged.)
(They start to leave.)
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
Chandler: We have to leave for New York in an hour.
Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you.
Josh: Well, it's getting late, I've got to get to the game, so I'm gonna... head.
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
David: Umm, look I-I-I got a confession to make
(Rachel holds her hand in order to support her head. Mr Zellner obviously overheard the conversation.)
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Mona: (To Joey) Wow! Theyre both really strong.
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
Phoebe: No! No, you can't arrest me! No!! I won't go back! I won't go back to that hell hole!!
Monica: Ooh, are we allowed to lie in the vows?!
Chandler: Well, I may be drunk, but I know what she said! Then I went over to Beefsteak Julies
(The teacher goes to Joeys station.)
Mrs. Green: Im going to the bathroom.
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: Look, when Ive been drinking, sometimes I tend to get overly friendly, and Im sorry.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Joeys Head: Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Rachel: Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here. (Pause) What if the baby needs him?
Monica: Do you guys know what happened to Chandlers barca lounger?
Joey: (starts to imagine it) I cant. I keep seeing it the good way.
Phoebe: (to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?
(They go off to their bedrooms)
Chandler: Tell it to the Time Turtle!
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Monica: I'm gonna miss this hand! Okay I know it's a lot to ask, but oh my God Chandler, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
ROSS: Ok, well then get some sense. I mean it took you what, 10 years to get that job, who knows how long it's gonna be till you get another.
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Phoebe: Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.