words in movies
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Rachel: Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day?
Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Ross: Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
Joey: 18, uh? (starts to prepare himself to say his "How You Doin'" line) Ross: Joey, NO!
Joey: And starting to think about settling down!
Rachel: Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Joey: Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
(someone knocks on the door. Rachel goes to open it)
Ross: (points the camcorder towards them to record their entrance) Hey!
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
Monica: I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up!
Chandler: I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica!
Rachel: Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now?
Rachel: (to everybody) All right, let’s get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Phoebe: (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Judy:(to Jack) Jack, look at this.
Ross: I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Chandler: To be fair this one does have nuts.
Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
Monica: Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Chandler: We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. (Ross looks disappointed and switches the camcorder off)
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Monica: No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us (Points at herself and Chandler) We've been complaining the longest!
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Chandler: To the bathroom!
Judy: Well, we better get going, it's late. Jack's not allowed to drive at night anymore. He has trouble staying in his lane.
Monica: No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Monica: Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
Chandler: (Also very excited) That sounds more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont!
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at?
Joey: Way to go robot!
Monica: No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. (turns to Chandler) The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically...
(Monica turns to see the closed door.)
[ Scene: The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.]
Rachel: (into the phone) No, there isn't time to go to the bakery. We're just gonna come home... Everybody left? Alright, well just tell Emma we're gonna be there as soon as we can. (emotionally) Bye...
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Ross: Rach, she's not going to remember this.
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
Monica: ...and head to Canada!
Joey: (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time!
(There's a lot of yelling and screaming coming from the hallway, and they get up to look at what's the noise all about. In the hallway, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe are having another wind-up animal race, yelling and screaming fanatically.)
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Terry: Good to see you again!
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Cecilia: (to him) Im having a conversation here! (To Joey) You were saying?
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Megan: Look, you dont want to fight me.
Ross: (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Ross: (To Chandler) You told her!
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Monica: He hates to lose.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Joey: Way to be strong, man!
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Gunther: Youve sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!
(Phoebe enters, walks up to Monica, and exhales exasperatedly.)
Ross: (handing Mona the present) Happy Valentines Day! Or something to remember me by.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Chandler: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
(he idly goes to the sofa, starts browsing a magazine. Everybody stares at him)
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Rachel: Oh, did you not want people to know that?
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
Phoebe: No, I want this to happen.
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Conan: But there must be, there mustare a lot of moments over the years where youre just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.
RACHEL: I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
Emily: And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her.
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Sarah: They are delicious (takes a few from the plate, puts one in her mouth and places the rest on her plate, then starts to reach over to Joey's platter again)
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
JOEY: Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
Dr. Green: Ill never understand you lesbians. (To Rachel) So baby, tell me what is new with you.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay.
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
Ross: (faking starting to cry) Oh God youre right.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Rachel: Id love to!
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
Chandler: (To Ross) Smooth.
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Ross: This was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled.
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)