words in movies
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Chandler: Were going to Everest! Okay, it would be nice to leave an ass print on Everest!
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!
(A woman enters wearing a wet wedding dress and frantically starts to look around.)
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
[cut to later]
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
(They go to hug but Ross' umbrella opens. He sits, defeated again.)
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
[cut to later]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross is about to be attacked by Paulo's cat.]
Ross: Okay. Umm, for a while now, I've been wanting to, um....
[Cut to inside, Monica, Joey and Phoebe are singing while outside, Ross and Rachel are trying to get the cat off of Ross' shoulder.]
Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Ross: You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
Rachel: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
[cut to later]
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
[cut to later]
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
Ross: Okay, okay, fine, youre right. Lets ah, lets take a break, (goes to the door) lets cool off, okay, lets get some frozen yogart, or something.. (opens the door)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
[cut to later]
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
[cut to later]
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
[Cut to Living Room]
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
[Cut to Living Room]
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
[Cut back to the present.]
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
Joey: (taking apart the invitation) Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! Youre at the wedding, you have to cry, "Handkerchief?" "No-no, I got my invitation."
Phoebe: Hey! Hey, did you get your invitation to Rosss wedding?
Joey: Dont worry man, I get to bring a guest. Well show him.
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's Rachel birthday party and Chandler is about to spill the beans.]
[Scene: The airport, Ross is about to walk off of the plane with Julie.]
[cut to later]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is introducing Julie to the gang.]
[cut to later]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to hang up on Julie.]
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
[cut to later]
[cut to later in the same scene]
Ross: OK, I need to lie down.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
[Scene: The Auditorium, Ross and Rachel are about to... you know.]
Ross: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
(They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is trying to prevent Gunther from spilling the beans.]
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Gunther: Im sorry. Was I not supposed to?
[cut to later]
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
[cut to later]
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
[cut back to the present.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is deciding on whether or not to go to the wedding.]
[cut to another clip, this one is from The One With The Prom Video]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching the Prom Video and Rachel is about to make her entrance on the video. The italics are portions of the prom video.]
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
[cut to later]
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
[cut to later]
Rachel: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
[cut to later]
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
[Cut back to the present, Rachel has made her decision.]
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
Rachel: I know. (Starts to cry) Yeah, see, theres so much to do and I have so little time to do it in.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Joey: Its better! You cant go to a museum in your underwear!
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Terry: Good to see you again!
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Cecilia: (to him) Im having a conversation here! (To Joey) You were saying?
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Megan: Look, you dont want to fight me.
Ross: (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Ross: (To Chandler) You told her!
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Monica: He hates to lose.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Joey: Way to be strong, man!
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Gunther: Youve sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!
(Phoebe enters, walks up to Monica, and exhales exasperatedly.)
Ross: (handing Mona the present) Happy Valentines Day! Or something to remember me by.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Chandler: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
(he idly goes to the sofa, starts browsing a magazine. Everybody stares at him)
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Rachel: Oh, did you not want people to know that?
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
Phoebe: No, I want this to happen.
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Conan: But there must be, there mustare a lot of moments over the years where youre just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.
RACHEL: I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
Emily: And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her.
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Sarah: They are delicious (takes a few from the plate, puts one in her mouth and places the rest on her plate, then starts to reach over to Joey's platter again)
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
JOEY: Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
Dr. Green: Ill never understand you lesbians. (To Rachel) So baby, tell me what is new with you.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay.
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
Ross: (faking starting to cry) Oh God youre right.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Rachel: Id love to!
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
Chandler: (To Ross) Smooth.
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Ross: This was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled.
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)