words in movies
[Cut to inside Monica and Chandlers, Monica, Chandler and Joey are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Joey, you have to talk to her!
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Monica: (To Joey) Okay, did you hear that?
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Monica: Honey, you gotta talk to her.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Joey: Yeah. Okay. (Goes to take a bite out of the previously mentioned bagel.) Whoa! (Stops.) I almost forgot this was on your
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Rachel: Well just ask Mona to give it back!
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
(He slowly walks to the other side of the couch and sits down at the table, an awkward silence follows.)
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Monica: Okay. No need to panic. Deep breathes everyone. Okay umm uh, were just gonna have to spend some time and put the CDs in the right cases.
Monica: Hmm, I dont know. We really have to talk this through.
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
Monica: Good. (To Chandler) Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
Monica: Uh I really dont know what to tell you Rach, I really dont. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem.
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
Rachel: My boss wants to buy my baby!
Joey: What he wants to buy your baby?!
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
Phoebe: Well, maybe we will. (Starts to walk away.) Oh! (She turns around and the exchange information.)
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Mona's Date: Oh umm, I-I dont know if I want to wear a womans shirt.
Chandler: Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack.
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Jim: Do you like to party?
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Rachel: Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Joey: Not a problem. Oh, and just so you know, that guys not going to be bothering you about that baby thing anymore.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Rachel: So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldnt be awkward!
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?!
Rachel: (To Joey) I cant believe that you yelled at my boss! Im-Im gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?!
Joey: You lied to me!
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Rachel: Morning. You wanted to see me?
Rachel: Yeah. (Motions for him to continue.)
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Phoebe: Oh, you didnt have to come in with me.
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
Phoebe: I-I-Id love to. Let me just tell my friend.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Chandler: Wow, Ralph Lauren is really going out of there way to show theyre not in the baby buying business.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Rachel: My gynecologist tried to kill me.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Mona: (interrupting him) Listen Ross, you dont have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Ross: (faking starting to cry) Oh God youre right.
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Terry: Good to see you again!
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Terry: Everybody has to audition.
Cecilia: (to him) Im having a conversation here! (To Joey) You were saying?
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Megan: Look, you dont want to fight me.
Ross: (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Ross: (To Chandler) You told her!
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Monica: (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Monica: He hates to lose.
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Joey: Way to be strong, man!
Mr. Geller: (Forcefully.) Hey, you keep pushing me on this, my foots going to meet the middle of your ass.
Gunther: Youve sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!
(Phoebe enters, walks up to Monica, and exhales exasperatedly.)
Ross: (handing Mona the present) Happy Valentines Day! Or something to remember me by.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
Phoebe: Youre just saying that because youre my biggest fan. (The fan leaves and Joey approaches.) (To Joey) Joey listen, take good care of that guy, okay? (Points) Hes a fan. (To the fan as shes leaving) Bye! (Exits)
Chandler: So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?
Rachel: Okay. Wow! So I get to see what Joey Tribbiani is like on a date. So do you have any moves?
(he idly goes to the sofa, starts browsing a magazine. Everybody stares at him)
Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her?
Rachel: Oh, did you not want people to know that?
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
RACHEL: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
Phoebe: No, I want this to happen.
Rachel: Hey, honey! Whats the matter? (Monica shows her, her hat.) Fine, I was just trying to be nice! Whoa!
Rachel: Oh, I gotta get back to work.
Monica: Hello Dan! I'm really looking forward to Saturday night! Really, really!
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Conan: But there must be, there mustare a lot of moments over the years where youre just trying to do your job, something goes wrong.
RACHEL: I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people looking like something you drink when your nauseous.
Emily: And then after decided to forgive you, seeing you at the airport catching our plane with her.
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Sarah: They are delicious (takes a few from the plate, puts one in her mouth and places the rest on her plate, then starts to reach over to Joey's platter again)
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
JOEY: Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
Dr. Green: Ill never understand you lesbians. (To Rachel) So baby, tell me what is new with you.
Rachel: Did you talk to him?
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
Monica: Do you really want to pull at that thread?
Monica: Yes, I'm sure! Rachel is there something that you want to talk me about?
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Okay.
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Chandler: Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it. (pause) But... let's go win the lottery... I mean, we still have 130 chances to win, right?
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
Chandler: This is not going to work.
Chandler: Yeah, it's like when you're a kid, and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Rachel: Hi! Phoebe. (Both Monica and her try to move out of Phoebes way.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Chandler: Well, lets see (Finding the picture he wants.) Okay uh, is that her? (Pointing to the picture.)
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
Joey: Well, hes too shy, he doesnt thing hes good enough to dance with girls yet.
Rachel: Id love to!
Joey: But between you and Phoebe, Id have to give the edge to Phoebe.
Chandler: (To Ross) Smooth.
Chandler: Yeah, Id love to but Ive tried that so many times they wont even let me in the store anymore.
Ross: (with his mouth full) Just a second! (he fake laughs, but turns his head and starts to break down)
Ross: This was just a drunken mistake and I need to get it annulled.
Phoebe: Oh, its already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
(Theres a knock on the door. The gang is stunned and Phoebe counts to make sure that everyone is there. Out of curiosity Chandler goes and answers the door.)
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Joey: Come here! (Hugs Dina and Bobby looks to hug Rachel.)
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Frank: Well, you, wait no, my Mother didnt want us to be together, but the worst thing she ever did was tie me to the porch.