words in movies
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Mark: Actually, its kinda my fault. I-I quit today.
Ross: Thats right, and thats why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end.
Ross: Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today?
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Ross: Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying Ill see you Saturday.
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today!
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
Chandler: Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say.
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
ROSS: No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today.
Rachel: (Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up) (To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
Phoebe: Because Im dumping him today.
Ross: I'm fine! I saw a psychiatrist at work today.
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.
Pete: So ask me what I did today.
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Gary: You look very pretty today.
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Mona: So it was really cool seeing you lecture today.
Rachel: You were with Kenny today, werent you?
Ross: And um...You look nice today.
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
ROSS: Whoa! You had sex today?
Morse: (walking up) That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair cut?
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.)
Kathy: So what did you do today?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Joey: Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today.
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
Gunther: Youve sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.
PHOE: So, Scott asked me to come over for lunch today and I did.
CHANDLER: I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Joey: They sent me todays script! They never send the script!
CHANDLER: No, you keep the pack. I'm all cried out today.
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
Joey: When? Today? Some, not a lot.
Earl: Okay, so no toner today. Thanks anyway, bye-bye.
Chandler: Well, Joey, I wrote a little song today. It's called: Get Up.
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Bob: Hey! Hows my pal Toby doing today?
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, but you cant fire him today.
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. (Time lapse) Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: Well, lets see. Uh, they gave me cute doctor today and in the middle of the exam I put my pinky in his chin dimple.
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Chandler: Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh!
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.