words in movies
Chandler: I know. Can you believe it? One year ago today I was just your annoying friend Chandler.
Monica: I know, but you have to open it today! (Hands it too him.)
Joey: All right well, I'll take you someplace nice then. Look! A guy tipped me a hundred bucks today.
Chandler: Yes, but I feel like Ive really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think were two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.
GIRL 2 ON BUS: So what are you guys out doing today?
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.
Phoebe: Oh please, somebody tell me I dont have to go to work today!
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Monica: Did you make brownies today?
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, Im, Im smoking still.
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
Ross: Yeah. So um, I-I heard about this ah, Mark guy that ah, Rachel met today.
Ross: Hey. How did, uh, how'd it go today?
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by today so we are cleaning the apartment.
The Casting Director: Actually, I tried to call to you. You didnt need to come down here today.
Dr. Oberman: (entering) Knock knock!How are we today? Any nausea?
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Phoebe: Did I use that already today? Im sorry.
Chandler: Well this is great. Yknow, those cameras were the only thing that was gonna cheer Monica up today, shes really depressed.
Mark: Actually, its kinda my fault. I-I quit today.
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Ross: Thats right, and thats why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end.
Ross: Wow, did not know that! May I say how lovely you look today?
Rachel: Oh, you’re not gonna believe what happened to me today! Ralph Lauren called, and gave me my job back!
Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Ross: Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying Ill see you Saturday.
Chandler: Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today!
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Rachel: (entering, to Ross) The most unbelievable thing happened to me today.
SUSAN: You did a good thing today.
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Joey: How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin!
Chandler: Y'know that is a popular opinion today I must say.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Joey: Oh yes I do. Otherwise whats next? Today Im just a guy who cant finish a turkey, but tomorrow Im the guy who eats half a Powerbar, wraps up the rest, and puts in the fridge? No! No, I just I justI gotta change my pants. (Gets up and heads for the door.) Jeans have no give. (Exits.)
ROSS: No, he's at uh, Carol's and Susan's today.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
Phoebe: Because Im dumping him today.
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Ross: I'm fine! I saw a psychiatrist at work today.
Rachel: (Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up) (To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
Pete: So ask me what I did today.
Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Gary: You look very pretty today.
Rachel: I mean, look-look today you escaped (Pause) (Not believing it) death, y'know? And maybe this is a chance for you to escape getting back together with Emily?
JOEY: Hi, here's the deal. We lost a carseat on a bus today. It's white plastic, with a handle, and it fits onto a stroller. Oh, and there was a baby in it. He wants to talk to you again.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Rachel: You were with Kenny today, werent you?
Monica: (on phone) Hi, umm I know this is last minute, but weve decided to throw an impromptu baby shower for Rachel today.
JOEY: Oh, yeah, he rode the bus today.
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
Ross: Well we-we dont know for sure. But in my head it-it sounded something like this. (He makes a high pitched noise and Alan doesnt know what to make of it.) Of course, this is just conjecture. Okay, thats uh, thats all for today. (Everyone starts to get up.) Uh Mr. Morse, can I see you for a moment?
Ross: And um...You look nice today.
ROSS: Whoa! You had sex today?
Morse: (walking up) That was a great lecture today. Did you get a little hair cut?
Mona: So it was really cool seeing you lecture today.
PHOEBE: Ok, right there. That, that's the third sign today. Right there.
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Ahh, whoo-hoo!!(He runs back out the door.)
Kathy: So what did you do today?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.
Joey: Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today.
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Gunther: Youve sung Happy Birthday to 20 different women today!
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Ross: Guess what? I made Emma laugh today.
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?
PHOE: So, Scott asked me to come over for lunch today and I did.
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
CHANDLER: I had sex today. I never have to answer that phone again.
Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Joey: They sent me todays script! They never send the script!