words in movies
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Joey: Hey-hey, whos your friend? (Erin turns around to face Joey, startling him) Hey!!
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
Joey: Half hour. (Rachel turns to look at him and he nods yes.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
(Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
Ross: Here they come, here they come. Oh-ho, if she kisses him goodnight, Im gonna kill myself, I swear. I cant, I cant watch this. (turns away, then quickly turns to look again) Come on, date over! Date over! Uh-oh, here we go, shes going in.
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Monica: And! We also have speaker phone. (She turns on the speaker phone.)
(Goes to the bathroom and Chandler turns on the TV and finds a high-speed police chase.)
Ross: You dont want to believe me, Im Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny (turns around and almost spills his coffee on Tommy)
Joey: (turns the card around, obviously had the wrong answer) Ow!
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
(The nurse attending to the babies hears this, turns and stares at Chandler. Chandler moves Monica to the side and away from the nurse.)
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Kim: So anyway we really (Someone exhales and Rachel turns and coughs.) Honey, we're just smoking all over you.
Ross: Ohh! Thank you! I like mail. (He goes to kiss her again, but she turns away.)
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
Mr. Geller: Honey, relationships are hard. Like with your Mom and me. You know after we graduated college we broke up for a while. It seems her Father, your Grandfather, wanted her to travel around Europe, like he did. Of course, he got to do it on Uncle Sam's nickel, because he was also strafing German troop trains at the time. However, (turns around and sees that Monica is sleeping and puts a blanket around her, kisses her, picks up the cigar, and starts watching the video)
Ross: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)
(Rachel turns and stares at him.)
(Ross turns around and sees Rachel sitting by the window. She is just glaring at him.)
Joey: (entering) Rachels having her baby!! (Phoebe turns and looks at him.) Which is of no interest to me, Im a neurologist.
Helena: (to Chandlers back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
(Monica turns to get the wine.� Chandler peeps through the peephole.� Joey, seeing something, peeps back.� Chandler ducks.� Monica returns with two glasses of wine.� She gives one to Joey.)
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]
(Ross turns and glares at Phoebe.)
Mr. Heckles: C'mere, Patti. (Marcel turns round)
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Joey: (entering) Hey. (Ross turns to see who it is, and seeing its Joey he just ignores him and turns back around.) Ross, I know youre pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Phoebe: Ooh. (Turns to him.)
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
[Ross turns around and walks back to Ben.]
Phoebe: Well, maybe we will. (Starts to walk away.) Oh! (She turns around and the exchange information.)
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
The Smoking Woman: I won't! (Turns away) Until I have my next cigarette.
[Phoebe turns back around but Rachel is gone. Ross enters.]
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Chandler: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi!
Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.
Ross: Well, I called over there and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself and he's already had like a hundred applicants.
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Rachel: Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)
(Phoebe looks horrified and she turns to watch Joey)
Phoebe: God! (She turns and buttons up.)
(Ross turns and leaves.)
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Rachel: (she stops and turns) Hi!
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.)
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
Chandler: Yeah I know, but I was really confused and then I talked to these guys. (Turns to look at Ross and Joey.)
(Dan turns on the TV and the Happy Days theme song comes on.)
(She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.)
Joey: Okay! (Walks away, then turns back.) How you doin'?
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
(The customer turns out to be )
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Ross: Okay, its second down. (turns away) Take all the second downs you need.
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before hes done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
(He walks over to look and some clothes and Rachel quickly turns around and adjusts her bra, trying to show off her assets.)
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
(Rachel turns for the door and makes the "Wow!" face.)
Joey: Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
(Ross turns to leave.)
(They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other.)
Phoebe:...Then I've already seen this one! (Turns off the TV.)
(Joey walks toward the door, then hesitates and turns back.)
Monica: If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! (Gunther turns to listen in.) I mean, he's nice, he's cute.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
Ross: So the first time you ask a guy out, he-he turns you down?
(Ross throws a punch, but Joey ducks and Ross punches the pole. Ross then screams from the pain and turns to Gunther, and Gunther has a huge smile on his face.)
Dr. Rosen: (Nervously) okay, but you have to admit that every time we go out... Women we meet at the hospital... It turns into...
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is desperately trying to make his Valentines Day gift. He takes a paper cup, turns it upside down, sticks two pencils into the top, and hangs a coat hanger from the bottom.]
Rachel: Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
(Chandler turns to the camera and does The Face.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)