words in movies
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is running up the stairs. Note: This show continues where the last one left off.]
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
Ross: so then President Steve told everyone that I was a cheapskate, and now the whole building hates me! A little kid spit on my knee! Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna throw a party. That's right. For everyone in the building, and I'm gonna sit them down and explain to them, I am not a bad guy. I am not a cheap guy! I'm just a guy who-who stands up for what he believes in. A man with principles.
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Monica are curled up on one of the chairs.]
Chandler: Yeah, here, somewhere else, y'know where-where ever. (Gets up.)
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Steve: (walking up) Oh hey, Pheebs!
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
[Scene: Howard's party, Phoebe is talking Ross up to two more partygoers. Ross isn't happy about it.]
Phoebe: No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, see? Things are looking up already!
(They all get up and leave.)
(Joey gives Phoebe a thumbs up. Phoebe walks out)
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
(They start shaking the chair likes its flying into outer space. Ross picks up a soccer ball and starts spinning it in his hand and runs around the chair beeping like a satellite. Chandler also starts running around the chair and saying...)
(Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.)
Rachel: Okay. 'Cause this is where I wanna be, okay? No more messing around. I don't wanna mess this up again.
Joey: Uh yeah-ye-ye-ye-ye-yel-l-l-l-l-look the-the-the only reason that I, that I came up to you before was because well, Im really nervous about-about being you. Yknow if you can help me capture the essence of the character. Yknow? Help me keep Jessica alive. Please?
(She walks up to where Doug is finishing another joke to another group.)
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
Chandler: (walks up to the Maitre d') Excuse me...
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Mike: I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff packed up.
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Ross: Yeah y'know what? Maybe-maybe you didn't mess up your audition because you suck, maybe you messed up because you care more about uh, your godson.
The Salesman: Ohh, okay. (Laughs.) Something didn't quite add up there. (Ross stops, walks back to talk to the salesman, and in the process pushes Rachel up against a wall.)
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Joey: (standing up) Yknow, theres two women dude.
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Phoebe Sr.: Ill go in a second, I-I just wanted to tell you that there hasnt been a day where I didnt regret giving you up.
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
CHAN: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Rachel: And remember how I said I was going to keep it in my purse so that if it rang I could just pick it up?
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
RACH: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together."
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Rachel: (picking up another random badge) Kate Miller?
Joey: Oh, it was great! Yeah, I-I walked her home, and it was amazing how much we connected, y'know? Then ah, then she passed out, but then she woke up. Yeah? And we stayed up all night talking, and now were like totally crazy about each other!
Chandler: Fine, but if we end up not doing this Maxim thing because of this party...
Ross: Do you realise we almost made it ten years without that coming up?
(Notices Ross looking at him and stops. Ross gives him his 'quiet down' maneuver. Okay, this may take a while to explain, so center this on you screen and place your hands about a foot apart with your fingers together and pointing straight up. Now take you fingers and point them at the other hand and making a 90-degree angle with each of your hands and the first knuckle counting up from the wrist. Now take your right hand, no your other right (that was for the dyslexics), and lower it a couple of inches, so that the fingers are pointing at your wrist. Now take your arms and keeping the elbows bent and your hands in front of you spread out your arms, kinda like making a bird's wing. Now hunch your shoulders over and move you hands up and down as if you are trying to tell some one to turn it down. That's Ross 'quiet down' maneuver. Well, there is an accompanying face, but I don't want to try and describe it as well.)
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Joey: Whats up with Gene?
(Rachel gets up to the jetway.)
Phoebe: Thank you. (she tears up the gift certificate)
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, theres two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place mustve been a real babe magnet.
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Rachel: You didnt break up with that fireman?
Phoebe (to Joey): Well, our plan is working. Rachel is having a miserable time, and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
Monica: Run, Marcel, run! Run, Marcel! (Marcel runs off and Luisa runs after him. Monica goes to check up on Phoebe) Are you okay?
RICHARD: But... he gets it back, pass to the middle, lines it up and... BAM! Yes! Could that shot BE any prettier?
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Rachel: (on tape) I screwed up so bad, I told Monica that I would stuff and send all these wedding invitations like weeks ago and I-I
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
Tag: Thank you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Ross: What can I say, you missed your chance. From now on the only person whos going to enjoy these bad boys (holds up his hands) is me. (Quickly realizes what he said and exits disgustedly.)
Chandler: (gets up) (softly) Wish me luck.
Chandler: It came up.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Rachel: (gets up from the sofa and moves to the kitchen but Joey blocks her way) Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
(David puts his napkin up to his mouth and starts laughing at his own line. Matt notices him after a while and starts laughing as well.)
Monica: I know!! (calls him) (on phone) Chip? Hi! Its Monica. (listens) Kay. (listens) Kay. (listens) Okay. (listens) Okay, good-bye. (hangs up) Oh my God, we just had the best conversation!! (goes into her room as Rachel enters)
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.
Chandler: Come on Chloe! Finish up with your customer first. Come on Chloe! Come on Chloe!!
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Rachel: She didn't hang up either!
Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? (Imitates Ross's 'quiet down' maneuver, but does move his hands up and down he just flaps his hands as if he's waving good-bye.)
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
Rachel: (waking up) Ehhh, aw! (pause). Well, that's new!
Chandler: I messed up. Okay? Im sorry, I really messed up.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in (Ross looks at her.) Ive been watching too much porn.
Monica: No-no, its not okay! Its not! I mean you were just Youre so incredible! You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me! Yknow Im just gonnaI, I am gonna make this up to you! I will! I-I am going to cook anything you want in here (points to the kitchen), and I am going to do anything you want in there! (Points to the bedroom.)
[Scene: The librarys Paleontology section, Ross is patrolling as a couple walks up.]
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Ross: We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? Ill find you. (hangs up)
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
Phoebe Sr.: Well, Im so sorry. I thought I was leaving you with the best parents in the world, I didnt even hear about your Mom and Dad til a couple of years ago, and by then you were already grown up. I dont know, youre here, and I would, I would really, I would like to get to know you.
Monica: Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.
Monica: Look what I found in the drawer... (Chandler looks up from his book.) And you said I'd never wear this...
Ross: Still I could tell. She was into me. (Joey rolls his eyes.) Well, why dont you set us up?
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Rachel: Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
Chandler: Oh yeah, yeah! Look what I got, look what I got. (holds up a pen) See, she's fully dressed, right?
Phoebe: Oh. Oooh! Ooh! Ooh! (She stands up and starts to dance around) Ooh! My butt cheek is waking up! Oooh! Ooh!
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Ross: (stands up) Thats great! Are you happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form!
Chandler: Then free as a bird. Whats up?
Phoebe: Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
Ross: (getting up, upset) I'm calling Mom.
Monica: Come on! Surprise her! Show up at her doorstep! Dont let her go without a fight!
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.