words in movies
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
Joey: Monicas chicken parm! Ill take care of it. (He picks up the phone) Hey Mr. Treeger, its Joey Tribbiani. Listen, I need to get into Monica and Chandlers apartment. Its an emergency. (Listens) Uhh, gas leak! Yeah oh, and bring garlic bread. (Hangs up.)
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Ross: Well, we-we said wed just do it that one time but, but now I think she may wanna start things up again.
(The couple moves up to the counter.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
(They go up to the counter.)
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
Rachel: Hi. (He helps her up.) Umm, I think theres something that we really need to talk about.
Ross: No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? IIn fact, (picks up the phone) I am going to talk to the president of the condom company!
Joey: (eating) Huh. So then I can heat this up? (Goes and does so.)
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Joey: Whoa! Hey! Whoa!! Hold up! Are you serious?! So like 3% of the time they dont even work?! Huh? They should put that on the box!
Joey: And-and you wont blame us for any damage? (Gives Phoebe a thumbs up.)
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Phoebe: Oh hey hi, hes doing it. Hes breaking down the door. (The chair breaks in half.) Okay, were in. (She hangs up the phone.)
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Ross: Oh sure, come here! (Sits her up) Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, (rolls the machine closer) its-its-its, its right there (Points).
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Joey: I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
Phoebe: No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). “Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
[Time lapse. Ross is now clearly drunk. He is holding up a shot glass to his eye like a jeweller's eye.]
Monica: It was, it was really nice. We started talking and I-I ended up having lunch with him.
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
[Scene: The park, everyone is warming up for the rugby game. Only Joey and Phoebe came to support Ross.]
JOEY: Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?
Monica: Hey, cheer up! Youre gonna see her again, right?
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
(A guy comes up and gets into the backseat of the cab.)
Melissa: (suddenly frightened) Shut up!
Ross: No, no, we will. We just wont tell her she messed up.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
[Another series of flashbacks begins with Episode 413: The One With Rachels Crush, Joey is telling Rachel and Phoebe how he picks up women.]
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Oh, hey, dont you have to go pick up Emily?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, you really wanna know how I did it, Ill show ya. When you handed me back the card, what you didnt see was, I looked at it so fast that it was invisible to the naked eye. (picks up a card and quickly looks at it) I just did it. (does it again) I just did it, again. Here, Ill slow it down so that you guys can see it. (looks and the card in slow motion)
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Ross: Okay, Phoebe just-just get-get on the bike andHey! Ill hold you up and-and push you. Okay?
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Ross: Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
Monica: (looking up) Ross, whens this comet thing start?
Chandler: (nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Allesandro: Why? So you could hang up on me?
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Monica: Oh really? Okay? Well what would you say if I told you that, yknow, Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
Rachel: (groans) Oh God. Oh I cant believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up!
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Rachel: No! Downstairs! And we got to talking yknow, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee.
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Rachel: I dont like sitting up here! Im just gonna over (She starts to get up.)
Tag: Rachel Greens office. (Hangs up.)
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Rachel: Every time? (She takes up her cell phone and starts dialing.)
Chandler: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."
JOEY: Right, they uh, they choppered me in. What's up?
Joey: Ah, our little ones are growing up fast, uh?
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah! Okay! Great! Go, man, go put on your shoes, and, and march out there and meet her! (Chandler runs and picks up his shoes) Oh, wait, no, no you have to take a shower, 'cause, eww. (Chandler runs to the bathroom, as the computer bing-bongs) No, you know what you have to answer her, answer her first. (Chandler runs to the computer) No, no, you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. (Chandler walks slowly into the kitchen)
Rachel: Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Joey: Yeah, what's up with that Serpico?
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7, and Kate waves good bye.)
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.)
Phoebe: (nonchalantly glancing) Hey. (Turns back around.) Wow! (Looks up.) Well done.
Rachel: Well its hard to tell (Rachel gets up to get a closer look, only shes having some trouble.) Oh God, if she would just stop moving.
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
(Chandler looks at the bill, thinking... then looks at the offer in the Newspaper and makes some dancing moves to see if he's up for the job...)
(Phoebe starts to hang up the phone, but )
[They sit up, moaning in excitement, and Cheryl straddles Ross. Ross finds a slice of bologna and moans higher and louder, then a bag of potato chips on the coffee table starts to move. Ross throws Cheryl off his lap, grabs a tennis racket and a toilet brush and starts pounding the bag.]
Joey: (holding up the Queen of Clubs) Is that your card? (He winks and smiles.)
Rachel: All right, okay, Laurie proposes to Jo, and she says no, even though shes still in love with him, and then he ends up marring Amy.
(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the shower door)
(Goes over and picks up the remote.)
Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. Theyve been taping those people up there all day.
Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.
(They all rush toward Rachel, who panics and runs away. She runs out of the park and up along the fence, she then comes back into the park and runs past Monica, as she gets to Monica, she throws the ball at Monica, and it hits her in the eye.)
MIKE: (Holds up a six pack of Foster's Lager) I got beer.
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh no-no-no, its has to be 800. (picks up the instruction manual to check the phone number) Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. (Finds the number) Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Monica: Well, so far I have uh, my brides maids dresses wont get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I dont have my something blue.
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
Phoebe: Well, just you know, for argument's sake, you know, hypothetically. Which one would you be willing to give up?
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
Joey: Yeah, you'd think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway? Huhuh...
Rachel: (on phone) Hello?(Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
[Scene: Phoebe's dad's house. Phoebe pulls up in the cab with Rachel and Joey in the back.]
Phoebe: Yknow, I bet it would actually make my grandmother very happy to know that were trying to figure out her recipe. I bet shes l-l-lookin up at us and smiling right now.
(Rachel enters, checking the mail, then looks up and sees Gladys placed on the barcalounger.)
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the baby shower has ended and everyone except for Mrs. Green have left who is talking to Rachel while Monica and Phoebe are cleaning up.]