words in movies
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
LIPSON: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
ROSS: I was thinkin' about it.
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
PHOEBE: I sense these things. It was either but or butter.
JANITOR: Oh, yeah, right. There was a break-in, few months back, inside job. Your monkey was taken.
ROSS: Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
CHANDLER: No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows.
SUSIE: OK, well then who was the kid that got caught masturbating?
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
CHANDLER: No one was around to hear that?
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute.
CHANDLER: I was not trying them out, Susie asked me to wear them.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Phoebe: Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?
ROSS: Uh, aside from that, the whole evening was pretty much a bust.
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
Tag: (shyly) Nobody. I was just practicing.
Rachel: Amy, that’s what I was supposed to wear today, that’s why I hung it on the door.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Chandler: (goes towards Joey) You know that's not the reason Joe. (Joey hugs him and after, he takes something from the fridge and puts it in his mouth. He goes back to where he was standing before)
Joey: Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
Ross: (To All) Was I talking to her about gas?
Monica: Oh no, I already packed. The only thing I couldnt find though was your Speedo.
Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Im fine now, but it was really scary there for a while. I mean, someone slipped a-a threatening note under the door.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
Ross: What was with the dishes?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Back then yknow, we called the Great War. It really was!
Rachel: Well did you know he was gonna ask me?
Ross: Hey! So uh, was he excited about the tickets?
Ross: (grabs back his cookie) It was a hug!
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom used to put her head in the oven. Well, actually, she only did it the one time. But it was pretty weird.
Monica: How was that possible?
Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
Monica: (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
Ross: So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
Monica: It was.
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Janice: Well umm, I thought I was going to go back to my apartment but then I just felt I couldnt really be alone tonight. (Joey walks into view of the open door behind Janice, sees her, gets a terrified look on his face, and flees in horror.) I was wondering if I could maybe stay here with you, just I really feel that I need to be with family.
Monica: (going over to listen at the door) Rachel said everything was okay.
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
Phoebe: Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! (she takes a t-shirt which was on the counter)
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Phoebe: Your mom was arrested?
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
PHOEBE: Please, I almost fell for that with, uh, Pride of the Yankees, I thought I was gonna see a film about Yankee pride and then, boom, the guy gets Lou Gehrig's disease.
Ross: She doesnt know she was fired yet, does she?
Monica: Let's see. Congress is debating a new deficit reduction bill... the mayor wants to raise subway fares again... the high today was forty-five... and- oh, teams played sports.
Emily: I was going to call him, but
RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like?
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
Cliff: Im telling you! The guy from that show was here in my room, asking me all these weird questions!
Monica: I just thought he was nice, y'know?
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Jessica Lockhart: (gasps) That was an accident! And so were you.
Monica: No-no-no that was good, it was, that was uh, that was a goood kiss
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Monica: Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't remember.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Ross: It was you, pal.
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Ross: I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together.
Ross: Correct. Chandler was how old when he first touched a girls breast?
RACHEL: Phoebe, how would you do this to me? This was all your idea.
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Monica: There was nudity!
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Frank: Well, we got into a fight cause ah, she said I was to immature to get married.
Chandler: Yeah, but it was like a million years ago, so it doesn't matter.
Ross: Oh, I was unbelievable.
MONICA: So how was Joan?
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Joey: (bursts out laughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!
JOEY: Well, well that one has ducks on his t-shirt, and this one has clowns. And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
Amy: Oh. Yeah. Well.. You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital when I was getting my lips done.
Monica: That was gonna be my opener.
Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size.
Ross: Oh-oh-ooh, hey guys, I was wondering if you guys would uh, maybe chip in on some new air filters for the air purifier? I mean after all, we all are using it.
Monica: Well, tonight waswas going to be my first time.
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Chandler: (notices something) Oh my God, the air purifier! Ross's air purifier! All I heard through 4 years of college was (makes a humming noise.)
Chandler: (Pause) No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading.
Rachel: Oh, 'scuse me. I was kinda using that machine.
Monica: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Phoebe: Oh, Ross youre right, I dont know why I always thought this was real grass.
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Phoebe: Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? (all raise their hands).
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Doug: Good God Bing I well I cant say Im altogether surprised, I saw the way she looked at you, and there was no love there. And the way she looked at me, pure lust.
Joey: Not from where I was standin.
Rachel: Hello? Like he was really gonna send you one? (To Phoebe) She was a big girl.
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Amy: Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier!
MONICA: That was amazing!
Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.
Phoebe: That was the best part? (To Chandler) Good honeymooning tiger.
CHANDLER: So, uh, how was he?
Monica: Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?