words in movies
Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh hey! How was your audition?
Monica: What was it for?
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking if we had a a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is telling Monica what the casting director was trying to get too.]
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Cassie: I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together.
Woman: I was her accountant four years ago.
Rachel: No I wasnt! You were supposed to tell her to come and I was supposed to bring the cake!
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Ross: Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Phoebe: I was in charge of cups.
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
The Cute Guy: Wow! Uh, this is kind of embarrassing. I was actually coming over to talk to your friend.
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Chandler: Well that was before all the vaporizing action.
Phoebe: I know you didnt, I was talking about Monica.
Monica: Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
Rachel: Umm that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some-something huh?
Ross: Funny, my birthday was seven months ago.
Chandler: HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts!
Monica: I am not 'so'! OK, I was a teensy bit weird at first, but... I'll be good. I promise.
Ross: Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Mindy: Oh God! You see, that's what I was afraid of!
Ross: I know and I was going to, but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachels father. Look I I made a mistake, but its only because I really, really like you. Really!
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Rachel: Oh you missed it. She was laughing. Oh it was amazing. It was amazing. It was the most beautiful, beautiful sound that...
Chandler: Hey, that was really good!
Rachel: Yeah, but that was different. Yknow? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think its weird.
Ross: No, no, that's not where I was going. Er, if you get in the... way, of us becoming a thing, then I would be, well, very sad.
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Rachel: Okay! I was thinking if its a girl, how about Sandrine? Its French.
All: Oh! That was Lambchop!
Ross: This year was supposed to be great! But, it's only the second day and I'm a loser with stupid leather pants that don't even fit!
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Chandler: I always thought having a heart attack was natures way of telling you to die! (Phoebe glares at him.) But youre not gonna die. I mean, you are going to die, but youre not gonna die today. I wish I was dead.
Monica: Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle?
Eric: Well I was just so excited to see you.
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that!
Chandler: Phebes, it was your birthday, like, months ago.
Ross: It was my first time.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Monica: Oh my God, I was thinking four.
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Rachel: (interrupting) I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy.
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
Joey: (sees Rachel) Oh, uh, hey Rach. I uh, I was just coming over here to uh Oh wait, I dont have to lie to you, you dont live here anymore. Uh, Im eating their food. What are you doing?
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Janine: Well, I dont know tonight when they yelled cut and we didnt get to kiss, I was really, really, disappointed, and I just, really wanted to kiss you
Monica: Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can�t get enough.
Joey: We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing...
Monica: Yeah but it was because I-I had an eye exam and I dont like my new eye doctor.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Chandler: (entering, slowly) Yknow I was thinking, what if I uh, unpack here?
Ross: Was your basket on top?
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: She did not have to tell me, I saw the play, and there was no heat. Back me up here, Ross!
Gunther: Oh, I was going to offer you my apartment.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Chandler: Ooh! Ahh, Pheebs, was gonna tell a story.
Phoebe: (sees Rachel's face) What? Did you go to a costume party? Let me guess umm Pancho Vila? (Points at Rachel) and you're Bob Saget. (An old lady has sat down at the slot machine Phoebe was just at.)
Chandler: It's OK. It's OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Joey: Sorry! Sorry, Im late; sorry, Im late! My duck and my chick and a fight, it-it was ugly.
Joey: Sorry, that was wax.
Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Monica: Hey Frannie, welcome back! How was Florida?
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Rachel: And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!
Rachel: He was right there. He got down on one knee and proposed.
Chandler: Hey, y'know what you should do? You should take her back to the 1890's, when that phrase was last used.
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Joey: Well, this-this-this was great. Didnt everybody have a great time?
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
Rachel: Oh, well maybe there was a dog lookin at him.
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Monica: It was a really beautiful service.
Ross: Joey had an imaginary childhood friend. His name was?
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
{Transcribers Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}
Monica: Oh nothing Im justjust was yawning. (Mimics the groan from before and stretches.)
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.
RACH: Yeah, what're you saying, you just sort of put away feelings or whatever the hell it was you felt for me?
Rachel: Yeah, well it was. I, I broke a cup.
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Ross: All right, lets not jump to any conclusions. All right? There was some sexual chemistry between them.
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Gunther: Im sorry. Was I not supposed to?
Chandler: Im sorry. Im-Im-Im sorry that I said I was going to when Im not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isnt Rachels fault. Its me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And Im really sorry, its just that this is not, this isnt going to work out.
Joey: See, there was kind of a mix up in my agent's office, but I'm still on TV and that's good exposure.
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Monica: Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again?