words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV, and we hear Mr. Treeger in the bathroom.]
(Joey sits down and changes the channel, and we see two people making out.)
Chandler: Do we pay for this?
Joey: No, we didnt even pay our cable billmaybe this is how they punish us.
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Joey: Maybe we shouldnt pay our gas bill? (Stops and thinks about what he just said.)
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Chandler: We dont know what could make this go away.
Chandler: We still have porn.
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, yknow?
[Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the babys heartbeat.]
(The heartbeat changes, and we hear a different one.)
The Doctor: Have we talked about the possibility of multiple births?
Alice: Were gonna have a big family, Ive always wanted a big family!
Frank: Why would we be freaked?
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Frank: Yeah, yknow when we found out we were going to have a baby, yknow I figured yknow like I should yknow have like a careerand I love refrigerators!
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
Chandler: Hi! Listen, can we watch cartoons on your television? We need a porn break. We spent the last two hours watching In & Out & In, Again.
Chandler: Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn.
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Rachel: Well, we were walking down the street and we saw that van that you guys used for catering and we realised
Phoebe: Okay. You know how people need transportation, but they also need massages to help them relax so I just figured we could combine the two, okay, I give the massages and Frank drives! I can fix up the van, bolt the table in the back, and you know what Ive got?
Chandler: Are we in London?
[Cut to London, we sit Ross sitting outside Emilys apartment. We hear Emilys phone ring with amazing clarity. Apparently, sound travels quite easily through the walls of British buildings. Anyhoo, Ross looks around for the ringing phone and in the meantime Emilys answering machine picks up and once again with amazing clarity we hear Emily say ]
Chandler: Yknow what, we have to turn off the porn.
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
Chandler: We have free porn here!!!
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Joey: No! No! No! You guys were totally right! This is so much better than the first time we went out. Yknow? That was so awkward, we were really nervous.
Chandler: We were wondering what was taking so long with the gift, but now we understand you were doing this.
Ross: Can we please focus here, a naked mans life hangs in the balance!
Ross: No, we can go to Williamsburg.
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
Monica: Yeah, we named the boy Jack after dad.
PHOEBE: I just think that this was a really bad sign, ya know. I mean, like the beast at the threshold, you know. It's just like, I have no family left, ya know. I mean except for my grandmother, you know, but let's face it, she's not gonna be around forever, despite what she says. And I have a sister who I've barely spoken to since we like shared a womb. I don't know, this is my real father and I just, I want things to be like just right.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Blonde girl: Sorry...we were just leaving
Joey: Look, Rachel, we don't have to do this.
Chandler: (to Ross): I thought we had them!
Chandler: Yeah. (They go pack.) Were doing the right thing, right?
Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.
Ross: (to Joey) Dude, we were good!
Liam: You dont say! (We see Ross who is hopping about with the ball and spikes it in his face.)
Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!
Monica: Well, can't you just have the party when we get back?
Phoebe: Alright, what are we gonna say?
(We see the TV and its the last scene where ET is saying goodbye.)
Monica: I know, what about Rachel? I mean how are we even gonna ask her?
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Chandler: Okay. Listen-listen, were not gonna have to walk this way the entire time are we?
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
Monica: But, we pick again! We pick again!
Joey: We gotta get them out of there!
Whitney: Were so sorry. (They get up to leave.)
Joey: Man that was great! Huh? Can you believe how long we threw that ball around?
Monica: We took a cab. Did you guys walk?
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!!
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Rachel: Sure we should... So.
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
RACHEL: Phoebe we just saw mine, let me see yours.
Susan: But were fine.
Joey: Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together.
Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Chandler: Alright, what have we learned so far?
Chandler: Are we gonna talk about what you guys did last night? Or
RACHEL: Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.
Chandler: Wait, we cant do this.
Joey: All right Carl, were next. Now remember, what is not gonna be?
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Back then yknow, we called the Great War. It really was!
Ross: So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer...
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
Chandler: Nah, not so much. Alright, now we smoke. (Takes a puff.) Oh.. my.. God. (He continues to smoke.)
Rachel: Well then honey, buy the lamp! Hey, we have that 60 bucks from Ross.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Rachel: You are. Well, um... We, we, we were just... Wow!
Gunther: So umm, are we cool?
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Chandler: Here we go, here we go.
Joey: Do we have to know about that?
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Joey: Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes any ideas? No! Didnt think so! Okay, cmon guys, show us where the presents are!
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Phoebe: Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts! (she takes a t-shirt which was on the counter)
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, yknow if-if there was just like one little area where Ithat I think we needwe would need to work on; I-I would think it was were just not crazy enough!
Joey: Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.
Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
The Interviewer: How do you spell that? So we can get it right.
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Monica: Can we come in?
Susan: That's what we were off doing.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. All right, you take care of that. And meanwhile, the party is tomorrow and we still dont have a guest list.
Monica: We need to talk to you about something.
Ross: Um uh Were-were just having this baby together but uh, uh thats all.
Joey: We make fire. Cook meat.
Monica: How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride?
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
Monica: Joey... we always know what you mean.
RICHARD: Well, we had a table in college.
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?
Lowell: Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar.
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Dr. Rosen: Ah here, we brought wine.
Rachel: Okay, okay, could we change the subject, please?
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Rachel: Come on you guys! What are doing?! I thought we were the patch sisters!
Rachel: (looking at the bill) Uhh, we still need a tip.
Chandler: I dont think weve actually done this before!
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?
Chandler: We are supposed to make these decisions together! Did you not watch the Doctor Phil I taped for you?