words in movies
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
[Susan approaches Ross, who's looking lonely]
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon. It's all over the news. Right before he reached Macy's, he broke free and was spotted flying over Washington Square Park. I'm goin' to the roof, who's with me?
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Chandler: So who's gonna tell them?
Janice: Who's party is it?
Joey: and who's fault is that.
[Cut to Joey's room, who's going throw his own contractions. Plus, he has Ross in a headlock.]
Monica: Well, who's voice was that?
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Rachel: So, got any advice? Y'know, as someone who's recently been- dumped?
Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. (Monica gives her a look) 'Kay. (Sung:)
Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Rachel: Who's this from?
MONICA: Wait a minute, who told you? [turns to Chandler who's looking sheepish] You are dead meat.
Chandler: Excuse me, look, we've been here for over an hour, and a lot of people less sick than my friend have gone in. I mean, that guy with the toe thing? Who's he sleeping with? (She slides the gladd panel over and Chandler talks through it in a loud voice.) Oh, c'mon Dora, don't be mad... I know we both said some things we didn't mean, but that doesn't mean we still don't love each other. (To the waiting room.) Y'know, I feel like I've lost her.. (She slides the panel back, he turns, and it takes him by surprise.) Ba-!
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Rachel: Please! We did not fog Danny! Who's Danny?
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Ross: Well, who's gonna kiss my sister.
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Joey: 46. Wow! Who's well educated now, Mr. I-forgot-ten-states?
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
JOEY: Hey, look who's up.
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Chandler: That's good one too, Pheebs. Now all you have to do is find a planeload of people who's resolution is to plummet to their deaths.
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
Phoebe: Let's see! (Opens her address book.) Oh, you know who's great? Sandy Poophack.
MONICA: Wow, for a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in an awfully good mood.
Joey: Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
(He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)
Joey: There you go! That's the spirit I'm looking for! What can we do? Huh? All right who's first? Huh? Ross?
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
Phoebe: Who's day just got better? CHANDLER!
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Rachel: What? What are you talking about?! You-you're the one who's been telling me to get over Ross and move on. I'm moving on, and you're moving on with me. Come on, give me one good reason why you don't wanna go.
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
Ross: You know, I'm just not uhm... that comfortable with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Chandler: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
MONICA: I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in.
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Phoebe: Okay, bye. Alright, so Mike's on his way over. See, you thought you guys were meeting here, and he thought you were meeting at the restaurant, so you know... Doesn't really matter who's right or wrong. Point is... I'm gonna take off.
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Monica: Rach, come see who's out here!
Woman: It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry I'm late, okay, here I am. Who's the new tense girl?
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Sandy: Who's up for puppets?
Rachel: Hey, who's this little naked guy?
CHAN: Guess who's back in show business.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Phoebe: Ooh, who's it for?
Phoebe: Mike?? Who's Mike?
(She gets up and goes over to Chandler who's ordering some coffee from Gunther.)
Monica: Who's that? (goes to open door)
Joey: (smiling)Look who's coming around!
Phoebe: Ooh, Atlantic City! Oh, that's a great plan! Who's plan was that?
Ross: Oh. (pause) Hey, who's Carl?
Joey: Hey, look who's here! It's Joey, and he brought home a friend.
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Chandler: Who's Amanda?
Charlie: So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions?
Rachel: Who's Gladys?
Sandy: Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus... (Ross goes to the kitchen)
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, who's Phoebe with?
Joey: (entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!
Rachel: I dont care! I wanna meet this guy who's the best sex she ever had!
Joey: So... who's your friend?
Bitsy: By the way, do you know who's moving back into town? Tom and Sue's daughter Jen.
Rachel: Who's Nancy?
Joey: (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess who's in an audition for a Broadway musical?
Rachel: Who's there?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Ross: Who's laughing now?
Joey: Who's that dirty old lady?
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Monica: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
(Everyone stops and looks at Chandler, who's nodding.)
RACHEL: Yeah. Who's workin' for you babe?