words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Joey: Oh! Hey, somebody left their keys. (Looks at them) Ooohh, to a Porsche! {Transcribers note: Oh come on! Who would leave the keys to their Porsche behind? If I had a Porsche, Id have the keys surgically attached to my hand!} Hey Gunther, these yours?
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Ross: Whos that?
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Rachel: What about you honey, who would be on your list?
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Don: Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, Im one of the people who thinks the smellier the better.
Sarah: The girl who won last year sold four hundred and seventy-five.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
Ross: (angrily) Whos your roommate?
Phoebe: Whos singing?
Ross: Whos Chip?
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Coma Guy: I feel good! ...Who are you?
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Ross: Who is Maria?
Rachel: Who are you supposed to be?
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Chandler: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
Cheryl: (sneaking up behind Ross) Guess who?
Chandler: Its Paris, who knows were here!
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Laura: Oh, it's nothing. I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building and it didn't end very well.
Rachel: No, I-I-I-I don't, I actually don't know who I'm talking about! So!
Joey: Who?
Monica: Wait a minute, she isnt Shes not the one who you
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Rachel: Wow! I mean, I justI cant, I cant believe this. Yknow, I mean you think you know someone even, even Phoebe whos always been somewhat of a question mark.
Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
Ross: Oh, who? Me?
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Ross: (apparently unruffled) Oh. Can I... can I ask who?
CHANDLER: No, Stephen Hurs was the kid who would eat anything for money, David Stein was the guy who had no elbows.
RACHEL: Ok, so uh, who wants the last hamburger?
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Rachel: It depends on who asked.
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Rachel: Oh, ah with who?
Monica: (answering it) Who is it?
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Rachel: Ok... (and passes the spider to Ross who holds it in between his hands)
Joey: Whos Elaine?
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Elizabeth: (ignoring him and picking up a pitcher) Who drank all the Kamikazes?
(Phoebe snaps the ball to Monica, who pitches back to Rachel.)
Rachel: Wow. Well, I guess it was Cupid who brought her here.
Ross: Alright, alright, now-now who should I say tricked me into doing it?
Ross: Who wants to make some long distance calls?
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
Chandler: Whos the father?
Chandler: Oh yeah! With who?
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still sick and is hobbling out into the living room for some help from Chandler whos on the couch reading.]
Pete: I know Im no John Bon Jovi, (Monica laughs) or someone who find attractive, Im just, I think, y'know, that you might end up feeling differently.
Rachel: Yeah, honey, maybe you can talk to somebody whos had a baby. Like your mom?
Monica: All right, we still have a minute and a half to go, and were down by two points. Two points.... (she gets interrupted by the guys, who are doing a slow-motion high five.) Phoebe you do a button-hook again. Rachel, you go long.
Phoebe: Hey, Frank. Look, okay, I know that you think I did like this totally evil thing, but I so didnt. Theres someone here who can explain this better than I can.
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
Hypnosis Tape: You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. (Joey walks out smiling to himself.)
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Chandler: Okay, now lets decide who has the nicest ass.
Ross: Look who I found standing outside of the Szechwan Dragon staring at a parking meter.
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Bob: I just had a meeting, I was actually hoping to get transferred up here, but I just found out its not gonna happen. Apparently somebody thinks Im not eleventh floor material. Say uh, who the hell is this Chandler?
[Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
Rachel: Hey! Out of all of us, who do you think is gonna get married next?
Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Chandler: Whos number two? One of the more difficult games sewer workers play.
Phoebe: Who, Josh?
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
BARRY: And once again she is out of here. Okay who had 9:45? Um?
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?