words in movies
ROSS: Don't toy with me.
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
PHOE: Yeah. Oh, OOOH, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um, OK, 'I was soooo wasted,' or, 'Oh, we were soooo bombed,' or, ummm, ooh, ooh, 'So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.'
JOEY: Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
PHOE: [comes back to couch, with cake] Sooo, what's goin' on, huh?
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
JOEY: With a man?
ESTL: Stop saying you're not talented, you're very talented. It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? [a knock on the door] Oooh, ooh, I'll talk to you later.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
MNCA: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
RUSS: OK, I'll just sit here and... uh... chat with your, uh.... friend-type....people.
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
JOEY: Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that?
JOEY: I've never slept with someone for a part.
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
FBOB: If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
CHAN: No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
RACH: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
RACH: Why would I have to sleep with you?
PHOE: What's with all the bottles of liquor?
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
[Russ and Julie look at each other with love in their eyes. The music builds...]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is getting ready for a fishing trip and Phoebe is asking him about the fishing lures. Ross is playing with the rod, and Monica is pretty much just watching the on goings.]
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
MONICA: Alright, I'll tell you what. I'll come get you in 5 minutes with some sort of um, kabob emergency.
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
(Joey turns and is angry that Chandler didnt come up with the answer.)
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Chandler: It is when you put it together with that one.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
(The rest of the gang arrives with their heads down in shame.)
Phoebe: Um, oh, I've got a birthday party, with some work people.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
[The next flashback is from The One With Rachel's Crush.]
Rachel: (miserably) No, no, that's not what we ordered... We ordered a fat-free crust with extra cheese.
Joey: God. Hes crazy! Why doesnt he want to be with Rachel?
(Monica covers her face with her hands)
Barry: No! (To Rachel) I went with Mindy.
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
Monica: What?! You slept with Jason?
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Ross: Yknow, its interesting! Most people think thats made with seawater, when in fact
Chandler: (deadpan) Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.
PHOEBE: With the web, the spider she dies, she does. She has babies and dies. It's like ya know, hey welcome home from the hospital, thud.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Tell my son that I love him. (Emily returns with the water.) Excellent! Well, okay, I gotta have some more fun!
Chandler: I'm just hanging out. Y'know, having fun. Y'know with the girl that I'm seeing casually.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Chandler: (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) Youre a little high maintenance.
(Chandler enters with the phone.)
Phoebe: All right. I gotta go. I have break up with Vince.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
(Rachel enters with the "cat" and the chick and the duck start to get riled up.)
Rachel: You have a play date with a stripper?!
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Susan: Oh, please! What's wrong with Helen?
Mrs. Green: Well then you really dont need me to live with you.
Phoebe: Im just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in womens underwear! I dont think you could ever do that.
RACH: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
Joey: I still cant believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is returning from a date with Cynthia.]
Joey: Look, the point is, theres a lot of women out there you havent even had sex with yet!
Rachel: All right Monica, do you want to know why I was with Ross tonight?!
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Chandler: No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Monica: Yes! All right, y'know what? Why don't we start with a practice run? Okay?
(With his index finger he shows her how old she is. Emma also points her finger and babbles...)
Phoebe: Yeah. Candys the mother, Cookies the daughter. The fathers also Cookie. Why am I friends with these people?
Rachel: (as Ross enters with a present) But, but, Mona, I live here.
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Monica: Okay, Ill rest. But yknow if Im going to bed, then youre coming with me.
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Chandler: Well, she wasnt sleeping with him.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Joey: Oh, I-I think Im gonna stick with the V, I wanna see how this bad boy turns out.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Rachel: (picking up the tissues) Why, why, what's wrong with these guys?
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
(They walk into a completely redecorated and repainted room. And of course, the room is immaculate. Only an obsessive-compulsive like Monica could find fault with the room.)
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
The Casting Director: Oh and your agent said you were okay with the nudity.
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
Monica: Phoebe, you're gonna be with your grandma?
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Laura: So you're not friends with him?
Chandler: Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps.
Passenger #1: I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange.
Monica: Oh, you're breaking up with Tony?
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
Joey: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with.
Phoebe: Yeah. Lets see, my had Mom killed herself, and my Dad had run off, and I was living in a Gremlin with a guy named Cindy who talked to his hand.
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, sure, its not mine anyway. It can with the pants.
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Ross: Well, excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life!
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
Rachel: Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner? What, what, what is it with you and this holiday?
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Chandler: You can't leave me alone with her.
Chandler: Y'know what? You should go to my guy, because when I went in there with my third nipple. He just lopped it right off. Y'know? So I guess I'm lucky. I mean not as lucky as people who were born with two nipples.
Chandler: Im sorry. (Pause) If you ask me, I'd move in with him.
Phoebe: Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey?
Rachel: Can you come here with me for a minute?
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
[The next flashback is also from The One With The Butt and it's also on the soundtrack. He's Joey telling everyone about his big break in Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Ross: You can live with me.
Rachel: What? No! Its not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo bottle.