words in movies
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Monica: Chandler theres nothing wrong with crying! I mean you dont have to be so macho all the time.
Chandler: Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
Joey: (sitting at the kitchen table with his back to the TV) You sick bastards!
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Jill: Rachel and I had a really big fight, can I come in? I-I mean I know were not supposed to see each other anymore and Im okay with that, its just that I dont know anybody in the city and I really need somebody to talk to about it.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Phoebe: No!! No way! No! And stop using my name! And shame on you! (Yells into the apartment) And shame on all of you! Youre disgusting! Especially you (points to someone) with that! (Storms away.)
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
(Thinking quickly, Chandler desperately tries to remember anything to do with schizophrenia....)
Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)
[Cut to the elevator lobby, Phoebe walks up and sees a man in a wheelchair with his broken leg extended.]
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Erica: Well, it turns out that Erica didn't pay much attention in Sex Ed class, because the thing she did with that prison guy... it'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Monica: All right, there's some pizza at my place, we can all eat with one hand right? Are you with me?
Joey: No-no hey buddy, please let me dance with that girl, I really like her and I think I have a shot.
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Joey: Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels Also what is with these chips you bought?
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Monica: Okay, Ill see you tomorrow! (Doug exits.) Just so you know, were not seeing him tomorrow. (Chandler wonders why.) I-I cannot spend another evening with that man. Do you remember how he behaved at our wedding?
[Scene: Joey's bedroom. Joey's asleep with Hugsy, the penguin right next to him.]
Chandler: Listen to me!! (Chandler turns him around and closes and holds the door shut with his feet.)
Billy: Its me, Ive been sleeping with your wife.
Monica: No! Listen, Im not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you cant blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Lets just call this, tie score and its halftime.
Rachel: Oh my God! What if he thinks I'm the kind of girl that-that would just sleep with him?
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
Phoebe: He said you poked at him with wooden spoons.
(Rachel enters with the cat, wearing the oven mitt, and startles Phoebe.)
Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer?
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
Ross: Whats wrong with this year?
Burt: (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
Monica: Its umm, it has something to do with transponding.
ROSS: Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Phoebe: Hi. Listen, Im sorry about that whole thing with Roger. It really wasnt right, and I, and I want to make it up to you, so umm, I brought you something that I think youll really enjoy. (Goes into the hallway and returns carrying the Evander Holyfield cutout.) Now, this is just a loan. Okay? Im gonna, Im gonna want him back. So (Looks at him longingly) Im gonna go now. (Exits.) (Pause) (Entering) Im sorry, I thought I could do it and I cant! (She grabs the cutout and exits for good.)
CHANDLER: Fine with me.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Ross and Mike are sitting on the sofa.� Ross is fidgeting with the cuff of his sweater while Mike blows his cheeks out.� Ross blows a piece of fuzz from his finger.)
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
ROSS: No no, you're uh, you're my lobster. See um, lobsters, uhh, in the tank when, when they're old, uhh, they get with, uhh, they walk around holding the claws. In the tank, ya know, with, with the holding and. . . Uhh, Phoebs you wanna help me out with the, the whole lobster thing?
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Alice: (entering with Frank) Hi!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is playing with Emma on the couch after just changing her diaper.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are playing with the duck and the chick.]
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Joey: (entering, with Dina) Here she is! Future fashion superstar!
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Monica: Im not gonna go out with him.
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Phoebe: Well, I have plans with Joey tonight.
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler enters with a bouquet of roses.]
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Phoebe: Yeah I know. Isnt it great? One less person we have to make small talk with.
CHAN: Ok, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel and a co-worker (Sophie) are dealing with the crisis.]
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
RACHEL: Ok, I'm sorry, I'm just not very good with babies. I mean I haven't been around them, I mean, you know, since I was one.
Rachel: What do you think Monica mean when she said she didnt want to talk, especially with me? I mean, why not especially you and me? We were both out there kissing.
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
JADE: Yes, yes, I did. In fact, I had sex with him 2 hours ago.
Phoebe: Wow. So then did you make it with beef or Eggplant?
Joey: Hey no-no-no-no! Its cool! Its cool! I-Ill only be a second, Im still with my brides maid, I justWhere are those condoms you brought?
Phoebe: Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl.
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?
MNCA: Oh, isn't he? Oh, you know, I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he just makes me feel so good and I've been feeling so lousy this last couple of months, no job, no boyfriend. Well, at least my cup is half full.
Rachel: Monica! I couldnt find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch!
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
Young Ethan: ...in love with you.
Chandler: Because you shouldnt be with him. (Pause.) You should be with me.
Phoebe: Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.
Monica: Well, are you just hanging out with Ross?
Ross: Celebrities Im allowed to sleep with.
Phoebe: Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much.
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Phoebe: Good. Yknowno-no, okay, its-it feels like everythings been about me lately, so whats happening with you?
Ross: Oh, I'm so excited, I mean, apparently I beat out hundreds of other applicants, included five guys I went to graduate school with. Not that I'm keeping score or anything... five!
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Phoebe: That’s it? That’s why you won’t go out with her again? So, she took some fries, big deal!
Joey: (quivering with anger) I did not care for that!
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
Phoebe: So how are things going with Paul?
Monica: Guys, please, Im just gonna have dinner with him. Okay?
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
[Scene: The delivery room, Chandler, Frank, and Ross are with Phoebe.]
The Museum Official: Yes. Were very popular. Theres a two-year waiting list. Sorry! (She kinda storms out with the couple.)
RACH: OK, OK. So, you ever get a pet with a girlfriend?
Rachel: Hey, so he stole a couple bucks from me! At least he bought me something with it! (Shows her, her ring)
Ross: The one with the cat. I gotta go, Ive got another date.
[Scene: Max and David's lab, David is explaining something to Phoebe with the aid of a whiteboard.]
Phoebe: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your (provocatively) special someone?
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.