words in movies
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly With Minot Adjustments by: Tennant Stuart
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
(Marcel scampers about, interfering with the neatness.)
(Joey enters, looking extremely pleased with himself.)
(The sitcom begins with its familiar refrain, yet with a Latin lilt. Rachel and Monica do a little dance with their chopsticks, and Phoebe has to grin as Ross joins in the rhythm.)
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
(Forgetting herself, Susan does the "Mommy" action with Ross.)
[Scene: Chandler's Office. Chandler is playing with a toy as his boss Mr. Douglas knocks and opens the door.]
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Joey: Okay... Well maybe now Im not okay with it not being okay.
(Thinking quickly, Chandler desperately tries to remember anything to do with schizophrenia....)
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Phoebe: With?
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Phoebe: But hes falling in love with her.
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Monica: Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: (sitting down) Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!!
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Rachel: Ugh. (takes the hat and covers Emma's head and half her face with it)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Phoebe: You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Ross: A no sex pact huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America.
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
CHANDLER: Don't play with his things.
Ross: What was with the dishes?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing, with everyone else present.]
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
[Chandler enters with his hair full of mousse and a cheesy moustache]
Phoebe: You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?!
Rachel: what, how do we know, we never slept with you.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
Monica: What's with the guitar?
(The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.)
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly With Minor Adjustments by: Tennant Stuart
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Joey: oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. (Nods)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is working. Ross enters with Ben.]
RACH: I mean he just started going out with her.
JOEY: With a man?
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica enters with some mail.]
Chandler: Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
MRS. GELLER: Dance with your father.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
Ross: Oh yeah, shes-shes amazing. And-and shes so much fun. And! Yknow what? When Im with her, Im fun! I even signed up for helicopter classes. (Chandler is shocked.) Shes leaving in two days, I dont have to do it.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Chandler: Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!
[Scene: The beach house, its the same scene from the end of last year, with Ross in front of the two doors of Rachels and Bonnies rooms, trying to decide which door to choose. He finally chooses the one his right and goes in.]
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?
Ross: umm. that you had a six year long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Rachel: Oh, I went to have pizza. With Danny.
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Rachel: Yes-yes, just a few seconds and shed still be with usnothing about an assistant buyer?
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her guitar.]
Rachel: Yeah! (to Sandy) Excuse me... (She walks to the kitchen with Ross and sighs)
RACHEL: She's still with you?
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break youre doing frat guys.
Ross walks away with a face of yeah ok.
(They start to leave Central Perk. The band starts to play "Here, There and Everywhere" by the Beatles. The crowd rises from their seats. Phoebe and Chandler walk down the aisle. Phoebe really glows with happiness. So does Mike who watches her walk down the isle. When Phoebe and Chandler arrive, they kiss and Phoebe walks to her bridesmaids.)
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
[Scene: Central Perk, the cast of Friends along with Conan OBrien are sitting and talking.]
Chandler: Because I'm in love with Monica!!
Joey: Which helps him get to Phase Three, picturing yourself with other women.
[Ross enters with a suitcase]
[Scene: Library. Ross show up with a MonkeyShine Beer poster.]
Ross: Yeah, okay. (he plops down into one of the leather chairs, with the footrest extended.)
(Rachel picks up a newspaper and starts beating him with it.)
Rachel: (coming out of her bedroom with a necklace) Here it is! I love it. I wear it all the time.
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Rachel: Monica, you broke up with him for a reason.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Rachel: Ok, good-bye you guys. Thanks for everything. (she starts to leave, and hits everyone with her skis) Oh, sorry! Oh, sorry!
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Ross: I made a man twice my size cry. I mean, I havent done that since I was four and I washed my dads Porsche with rocks.
Ross: Well, I was with Carol for like eight years and I lost her. And now if it's possible I think I love you even more. So, it's hard for me to believe that I'm not gonna, well that someone else is not going to take you away.
Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?
RACH: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together."
Monica: No-no, I-I really dont want to talk about it! I dont! (To Rachel) Especially with you. (Goes into her room.)
Frank: Its so cool man, its so, its just cause being with her is so much better than like not being with her.
Mona: Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isnt happy.)
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Dr. Green: So what's new with you, uh, knocked up any more of my daughters lately?