words in movies
A Tourist: (To Joey) Would you mind doing a picture with us?
Monica: It was, it was really nice. We started talking and I-I ended up having lunch with him.
Phoebe: That is so weird! I had a dream that you'd have lunch with Richard.
Phoebe: Oh please, you are not gonna ditch again like you did with London.
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Rachel: (entering with Ross) Hi!
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
Ross: Oh so-so you weren't trying to entice me just now with your-your nakedness?
Ross: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
Rachel: Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?!
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Chandler: No-no, that's okay, apparently there's a new policy where we don't have to share everything with everybody.
Monica: I knew you were not okay with that.
Phoebe: Monica had lunch with Richard.
Chandler: When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it!
Chandler: Fine with me!
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Joey: Yeah, sure! Sure! They would uh, they would scrub the floors with it! They would use it to get the mud off their shoe. And sometimes underneath the horse would get dirty so they would stick it right
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Ross: (to the guy in the window seat next to him) Hey! Y'know that teacher who had a baby with her student? (He points at Rachel.)
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Rachel: (returning with her purse covering her face) All right, it won't come off!
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Chandler: (arm-in-arm with Monica) Hey Pheebs!
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Monica: Oh, that's because I had lunch with RichMe neither! Okay, what do I want now?
Rachel: Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (He does so.) Hit me. (She slows down with each one.)
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
[Cut to the casino, a very drunk and doodled on Rachel is walking arm in arm with an equally drunk and doodled on Ross are walking through the casino and greeting people on their way through. Ross has some whiskers and his nose colored in, along with his name on his forehead.]
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck as The King's (Elvis Presley to the yougin's) Viva, Las Vegas begins to play. Sing along with me now, "Viva! Las Vegas! Vivaaaaaa! Vivaaaaa! Las Vegassssss!!" Fade to Black.)
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Phoebe: (shocked) You work with robots!!
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Janice: Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
Mrs. Geller: Mm. Unless we go with a different dress?
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Barry: I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
The Second Guest: We went to college with both of them and now we live next door.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Rachel is returning from her date with Dave.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Ross: Ah I had a little thing with Joey, if you think this is bad you should see him.
ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
CHANDLER: [Joey grabs a frying pan] Yes, hitting her with a frying pan's a good idea. We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
Ross: Okay. (Ben enters) Ben? Come here. All right, Im gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour. Okay? Are you gonna be okay?
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
PHOEBE: Uh oh, ooh, are we not getting along with the new boy?
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
Monica: All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Phoebe: You cant have sex with her!
Rachel: Well honey, then why don't you break up with one of them?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
Joey: (entering with Phoebe) Come on Pheebs! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!
Rachel: Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with...
Chandler: Well y'know, what if she didnt actually sleep with the guy?
Rachel: (walks up with a pot of coffee) Would anybody like more coffee?
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. (Monica gives her a look) 'Kay. (Sung:)
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Rachel: No! Seriously! Whats wrong with you?!
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are still talking with Erica.]
Phoebe: Okay, I cant believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married. I remember talking about this day with Rachel while we were showering together, naked. (Raises her glass and drinks.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]
(Chandler screams a little bit, then realises that he can spit out his gag. He does so with a Pouff!)
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
Ross: Yknow your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
Joey: (with a disgusted look) What was it?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Phoebe: Hell, Im drunk right now! (They all turn and look at her.) What? I cant have a mimosa with breakfast?! Im on vacation!
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Chandler: ....three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ballet Theater?!
Phoebe: Its mostly just photographs of lesbian love scenes interspersed with video games and free sandwiches.
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Barry: No. I went with, uh.. Now, this may hurt.
Conan: Well be right back with more Friends, less me.
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
PHOEBE: (singing) ... with the double double double-jointed boy. Hey. So um, are you the professional guitar player?
Phoebe: Umm, well I, I kinda had a little chat with Alice, and I sort of made her see why you two shouldnt be together, y'know. And youre gonna see it to, one day, you really, really will.
Ross: My wife had a workout friend she went to the gym with everyday for a year. She didn't get any fitter.
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Phoebe: No-no-no, but I am mad! I am mad! Because this stuff is everything that is wrong with the world! And its all sitting up in my living room and all I can think about is how I dont have that lamp!
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Well, what is going on with you two?
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
(And with that, we start a series of flashbacks to Thanksgiving's of years gone by.)
(Chandler enters with a cigarette.)
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Ross: Okay, okay. Enough, enough with the lunging. No! I'm sick of this. Okay. I've had it up to here with you two! Neither you can come to the party!
[Cut to the tape Joey made in front of some famous place in London with a rather famous English-type person.]
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Chandler: (entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Ross: Yeah! Wed meet, wed meet total strangers, and hang out with them!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im with a client right now.
[Outside with Phoebe and Ryan.]
Chandler: You know, I may be way out on a limb here, but do you, do you, have a problem with Janice?
Joey: (Snatches the phone) Hey Ma. Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bazida, and... Excuse me? (To his dad) Did you know this isn't Ma?
Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
[Scene: A doctors office, Rachel is on an examining table with her legs in the stirrups.]
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Rachel: Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.
Phoebe: Oh, did the little rich boy have a problem with the butler? Yes, mine's worse!
Ross: Hey. So I uh, I didn't get that apartment. Some problem with my application.
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Rachel: Umm, okay, I think I'm-I'm just gonna-just gonna say it. Just gonna say it. Uhh, (pause) I'm still in love with you Ross.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
[Time lapse. Everyone is upset with each other. Phoebe is at the window.]
Ross: Im sorry, okay, Im sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Rachel: I hope youre going somewhere with this.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers apartment, Chandler and Rachel are there, and Phoebe enters with the Chick and the Duck.]
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Phoebe: (opening the door) I had nothing to do with it. (Closes the door.) (Opens the door.) Okay, it was my idea, but I dont feel good about it.
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Chandler: Yes, but I feel like Ive really gotten in touch with my feminine side enough today. You know. In fact I think were two sachets away from becoming a lesbian couple.