words in movies
[Scene: Days Of Our Lives set, Joey is doing a scene with a co-star as Rachel watches on a monitor.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
Ross: (entering with a pizza and beer) Hey!
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
Ross: A date?! Shes-shes got a date?! With who?
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Tim: Its because Im with you.
Ross: No! No I cant. I mean Rachels out with some guy. My baby went with her. If anything that picture keeps moving further away.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Bob: Toby! Im not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler!
Monica: Uh well that depends, how are things with Phoebe?
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Im breaking up with you!
Phoebe: Im, Im breaking up with you.
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Ross: Yeah I know. (Pause) On the other hand in um, in about seven months youre gonna have something that youre gonna love more than any guy youve ever gone out with. Just wait. Wait until uh, wait until the first time your baby grabs your finger. You have no idea.
(Joey returns with a piece of pizza as Chandler and Phoebe exit.)
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Phoebe: Then what's wrong with them? Would they not go with your tiny portions of pretentious food?
Monica: God, Ross is on a date with your sister! How weird is that?!
Rachel: (interrupting) I bet he sensed that I was ready to have sex with another guy.
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Chandler: Boy did we make friends with the wrong sister! (Rachel glares at him.)
Joey: Okay, so will you meet with her?
ROSS: Ok, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, you're not really gonna go through with this, are you?
ROSS: I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys.
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
ROSS: That doesn't matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
JOEY: Oh we're not out. No, no. We're just uh, two heterosexual guys, hanging with the son of our other heterosexual friend, doin' the usual straight guy stuff.
[Ross enters with a melancholy look.]
PHOE: [comes back to couch, with cake] Sooo, what's goin' on, huh?
Rachel: He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Ross: Dont you realise none of this wouldve ever happened if I didnt think at that same moment you werent having sex with Mark?
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Joey: I want the drugs Ross, I want the drugs! (He starts rocking back and forth, taking Ross with him.)
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Phoebe: Yeah! Its so much better than first grade when you dont know whats going on and definitely better than third grade. Yknow with all the politics and mind games.
CHANDLER: Eddie, I didn't sleep with your ex-girlfriend.
Ross: Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second! (pause) So what's new?
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
MONICA: It doesn't go with any of my stuff.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
(Joey makes a sound like a game show wheel spinning with the pointer bouncing off of the bars on the wheel as it slows and comes to a stop.)
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
(Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Rachel: Oh, please tell me its not because Im going with Mark.
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Monica: Well, it's like that. With feelings.
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
[Scene: The airport, Ross is about to walk off of the plane with Julie.]
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
Ross: Argue with that.
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Chandler: Fine with me.
Ross: Okay, (gets up) if youll excuse me, I-Im gonna go hang out with some people who dont know the Space Mountain story.
Ross: Oh, and she's pregnant with my baby. I always forget that part. (to Carol and Susan) Helloo!
[Scene: Ralph Lauren, Rachel is hooking Chandler up with another tuxedo.]
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Joey: Whoa! And the... (gestures with hands) huh-huh?
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
Ross: Hi. I understand you had a little talk with Emily.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
LITTLE BULLY: What's with you?
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
Monica: Used to work with her. Used to! Im a relative and I didnt get invited! A blood relative! Blood!!
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Hey! Yknow what goes good with that?
Janice: How are you Ms. Hot Shot chef with the big fancy restaurant with the best chicken ever! (Does the laugh.)
CHANDLER: Oh, no no no, she took off with my clothes.
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Joey: Or not. Uh, Rach, why dont you just move in with me? (Rachel sighs.)
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
Monica: Ok! When I go places with high humidity, it gets a little extra body, ok?!
Ross: Yeah, none of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Ross: You need me to go down there with you and hold your hand?
Assistant: You got sprayed with two two' s and...
Chandler: Oh thats great, with my luck, thats gonna be him.
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
Ross: I bet if I talk to Carol and Susan I can convince them to move to London with Ben.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! Ive been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that Id be giving up! I mean, I Im never gonna have a first kiss again.
[We then go into another set of flashbacks of famous fights. The first is the second breakup of Ross and Rachel from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Ross: Yeah, most of it it's a place packed with confused angry baseball fans!
Monica: I gotta make up the guest bedroom. (To Ross) Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us a few days.
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Chandler: And I love the milk! But, Im not gonna some British girl to move in with me! (Realizes that made no sense.) Joey, you say things now.
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Chandler: Well, I believe the piece of furniture was fine until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delvecchio
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
Phoebe: Y'know Monica you had a minor setback in your relationship with Chandler. Big deal! It's only Chandler. (Monica turns and stares at her.) I am so sorry.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
MONICA: No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!