words in movies
Phoebe: No! It�s my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work. Uch, I get mad at him, but I think it�s a little to soon to show my true colors.
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it�s legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?
Chandler: Actually, in Oklahoma smoking is legal in all commune areas and offices with fewer than fifteen people.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Monica: Don�t joke (?) with me, okay? I�m very, very upset right now.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. (previously scared Rachel turns away) No, no wait, no-no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird�s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues as an act of aggression and grabs the baby on its talon. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still up lays (?) are locked in a death grip, swirling around the whirl pool, that fills the apartment.
[Scene: The restaurant with still just Phoebe and Joey.]
Monica: Spend more time with the tie. That�ll make a baby.
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn�t have sex with me while we�re fighting.
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Phoebe: And that�s Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
Rachel: Oh honey, this is for the best, thus I�m not distracted, worrying about Emma, how she�s doing at home and I�m being completely here with you and, oh, she spit up!
Monica: (entering with husband) Happy birthday!
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Well, what is going on with you two?
Chandler: (to Joey) You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her.
Chandler: What�s the matter with me? Why I�m such a girl?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Chandler: So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you?
Waiters: (with birthday cake, singing) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear �
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with the chick and the duck.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
Young Ethan: No, don't say it. (closes Monica's mouth with his hand)
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Chandler: Okay, she is the star of the play. And she is my girlfriend! I get to have sex with the star of the play!
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Chandler walks in with a friend of his while Monica is putting fruit in a bowl.]
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Monica: Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her.
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Phoebe: Sven I don't understand what you're saying! What is wrong with the flowers? Lorkins? What the hell are lorkins?
Ross: Marcel! Where are you going with that disc?
Joey: Ho-ho-ho, (pausing for a rest next to the fridge) fried stuff with cheese!
Monica: Ok, um, I'll go with you.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Ross: Yeah, Im missing out on all this other stuff, too. So, Joey suggested Rachel move in with me.
Joey: Yeah, are you just going down there to gawk at that hot girl with the belly button ring again?
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
[Scene: A Chinese Restaurant, Ross is there with his date.]
Monica: Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
CHANDLER: I broke up with her.
CAROL: [enters with Susan] Hello
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Chandler: (to Janice) Okay. (to Joey) Joey, trade lives with me!
Monica: (looks around) Well, with all these doctors and nurses, Im gonna say, midget rodeo.
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Chandler: See, I'm finding out all this stuff about you today, like you like the Law & Order and that you flirted with every guy in the Tri-State area!
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
[a stranger enters with flowers]
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Ross: Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to.
Chandler: (picking up the telephone, answering it with a frog in his throat) Hello? (he clears his throat, but he still has the same frog in his throat when he speaks again) Hello?
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Stranger: Just be honest with her.
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!
[Scene: Ross and Rachel are at the playground with Emma. Rachel in putting her back in the stroller and Ross is tending to his wound]
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Joey: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!
Joey: Done with the bookcase!
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
(Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees whom Joey is with.)
Joey: listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her.
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Dr. Baldhara: Does he, uh, fight with other animals?
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Monica: Do you think breaking up with him was a huge mistake?
JOEY: Ah, I was just in the bathroom, and there's mirrors on both sides of you. So when you're in there it's like you're peein' with the Rockettes.
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: (sitting down) Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!!
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Rachel: Ugh. (takes the hat and covers Emma's head and half her face with it)
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Rachel: So uh, heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Phoebe: You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Ross: A no sex pact huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America.
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Monica: (starting to cry) Im sorry I almost made you sleep with Ross. (They hug.)
CHANDLER: Don't play with his things.
Ross: What was with the dishes?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing, with everyone else present.]
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
[Chandler enters with his hair full of mousse and a cheesy moustache]
Phoebe: You knew this and you never said anything?! With all the stupid dinosaur stuff you tell us?!
Rachel: what, how do we know, we never slept with you.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Joey: Tell me about it, huh? (Realizes that she can see Monica.) Oh no-no-no, I'm not with her, she's just Monica! (He pantomimes that out.) Ewwuck! (He pushes Monica away and makes a disgusted face.)
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Oh-aw my God! Now, I understand if you never want to sleep with me again, but that would be wrong. We're too good! We owe it, to sex!
Monica: What's with the guitar?
(The dry cleaner finishes with the customer in front of Joey and they approach the counter.)
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Joey: Yeah, yeah, okay. Uh, look buddy, I came with that girl, and I had this plan to kiss her at the new years countdown Im trying to win her over, so I was wondering if..
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Joey: (with his mouth full) Oh yeah, sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever, I dont know (Grabs the note.)
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Mindy Mattingly With Minor Adjustments by: Tennant Stuart