words in movies
ROSS: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?
[Ross enters with several bags from shopping.]
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
ROSS: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]
[Ross holds up the blouse. It is extremely tacky, with sewn-on medals hanging off of it.]
MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
JOEY: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . .
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, sure, yeah. [gets a box with the pictures] This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation. . . another graduation. . . another graduation.
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is preparing for the party with Ross questioning her.]
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
ROSS: Excuse me, I'm seizing. Mr. Treeger, here's another 50, happy Hanukkah. Will uh, will this help with the knob getting?
JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Phoebe: Why? Who’d you seen him with?
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
RACHEL: Saving, saving, saving me from the pleasant conversation with the interesting man, saving me?
Ross: I hate Chandler, the bastard ruined my life. (Rachel starts looking around and down, with a 'What the hell is going on?' look on her face.)
Grandma Tribbiani: Joey, bravo! (Starts with that Italian stuff again.)
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
Monica: Oh God, stop with the plan! So what, so what you saw him with a girl? Who cares?! That doesn't mean anything! Now look, you're going to go out on a date with Danny and you're going to be so charming he's gonna forget all about that stupid subway girl.
TATTOO ARTIST: Alright, blonde girl, you're in room two, not so blonde girl, you're with me.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
Ross: Here we go. Mona umm, I think its time we-we had a conversation about-about where things are with us.
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Monica: Everybody get your toys! (They all run toward the table with toys)
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Ross: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
RYAN: Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Rachel: No-no-dont! Dont leave me here with these people.
Monica: Oh really? When? Do you wanna do it with me?
Monica: Its harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!
Joey: I just got off the phone with my sister.
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
CHANDLER: Well, how could anyone not be in love with Yasmine Blepe?
Joey: Oh yeah, I still cant believe you havent seen Cujo. What is wrong with you?
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
Joey: And about this Nancy thing... If you're not sleeping with her, should I?
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
Ross: Whats up with the greed Joe?
[Scene: The Medical Research office, Joey is there with Carl in the waiting room. Two identical twins come out and both wave by at the same time.]
Joey: No you dont, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Rachel: So uh, apparently people are familiar with the Europe story?
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
Rachel: Okay! (She goes and gets her surprise and when she returns with it, Ross stares in shock.) Check it out!
Rachel: (entering, with Joey) Hey!
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Monica: A Magic Eight ball?! You can't be serious, you can't make this decision with a toy!
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: What is the matter with you ?!?
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
[Scene: A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.]
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.]
Monica: What?! Youre going out with her again!
Ross: Going out with who?
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Ross: Oh, sorry. Well, look, maybe I can help you with it.
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
Rachel: No-no! Dont dance for me! Please? Dont! (She gets up to yell at her friends.) What is the matter with you guys?
[Cut to Rosss second wedding reception, Joey has just told him the band is ready with Rachel looking on.]
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
Chandler: (not amused) And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.
Monica: Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?
Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help from: Aaron Howard-Miller
Ross: Yeah I-I dont-I dont think Im quite there yet, but I could say I looove spending time with you.
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Monica: Maybe. Joey: Wait. Your 'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
Chandler: Hey, you know what, here's a thought. Why don't you stay home from work today and just hang out with me.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Richard: Yeah! Youre saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.
Joey: Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Rachel: Dark, big hair, with the airplane earrings.
FBOB: If... if you want to drink, it's OK with me, I've got to get used to it.
Monica: Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
Ross: Rach, come on, I’m not gonna wear any of this! (he picks up a shirt) Nothing silver. (Rachel sighs). Ok? Nothing with hair! (Rachel sighs again) And nothing with padlocks on it! (Rachel heaves a long disappointing sigh).
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
(Sebastian returns with the coffee.)
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
[Ross gets up, pleased with himself and starts to walk past Joey.]
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Rachel: oh oh! What is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.
Chandler: And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym.
Monica: But why?! Did he get in touch with Emily?
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
Ross: Ohh! A man with a plan!
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Monica: And slept with the professor.
Chandler: (with his mouth full) What happened? Im just eating candy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Richard and Monica are playing with Ben.]