words in movies
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
The Smoking Woman: Yes?
The Smoking Woman: Yeah I can, it worked real well.
The Smoking Woman: I won't! (Turns away) Until I have my next cigarette.
The Smoking Woman: What?!
The Smoking Woman: Who are you talking too?
The Smoking Woman: I am not going to apologize to a tree!
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
The Smoking Woman: I-I'm sorry! Sorry.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)
Woman on TV: Ow! Ow! Ooh! That hurts!
The Woman: Wow you look so beautiful! If I knew you, Id cry.
ROSS: What woman?
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Phoebe: (hearing the signal) Im coming! Im coming! (She takes off towards the signal and almost knocks another woman over.)
Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your monkey. (She starts to shut the door)
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Woman: Hey Pheebs! Hows it going?!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Woman: I can dial 9-1-1 at the touch of a button, y'know. Now, go away!
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
Janice: What woman?!
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Woman: Im Margha.
Woman: Im Dutch.
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
Woman: What does that mean?
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
The Woman Dealer: Which guy?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
Woman: Mark!!
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
Woman: Ginger.
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
Mrs. Green: Such a sweet woman.
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Woman: Youre no Brown Bird, I can see you through my peephole.
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
The Other Woman: No thanks.
Monica: What are you the memory woman?
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
(Another sweaty woman comes to the door and speaks to her friend)
Rachel: (seeing Ross come off the plane with another woman.) Oh my God.
Joey: (mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are sitting at the table, alone as a woman approaches.]
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Chandler: You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!
Woman: Mine havent been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. (Hums then squeals a little bit.) Oh, that was a big one!
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day?
(A young pregnant woman enters.)
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Ross: If only he were a woman.
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Woman: Hello! (Monica screams)
Woman No. 1: Hi, can I help you?
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.
(She starts to walk very slowly toward the front of the room. The teacher grabs her hand and pulls her. Suddenly a woman bursts in)
Woman: Oh hi, Im, Im Mona from her restaurant.
Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?
Joey: (waving) Very funny Ross! Very life-like and funny. Okay. (Notices that a woman is waving back.) Oh no-no-no, I wasn't waving at you lady. (She just stares at him.) (Joey sees how beautiful she is.) Whoa, maybe I was! Hey, Monica, this totally hot girl in Ross's building is flirting with me.
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.