words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. (Monica does so.) Dice are out. (The woman next to Monica rolls the dice.) Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! (Monica won and doubled the chip.)
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
Woman on TV: Ow! Ow! Ooh! That hurts!
The Woman: Wow you look so beautiful! If I knew you, Id cry.
ROSS: What woman?
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
(Another woman with a nurse and doctor enter, the woman is screaming.)
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
Chandler: (to Bonnie) So ah, your first sexual experience was with a woman?!
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Woman No. 1: Just a sec. (To Chandler and Joey) Hope you find your monkey. (She starts to shut the door)
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Phoebe: (hearing the signal) Im coming! Im coming! (She takes off towards the signal and almost knocks another woman over.)
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
RICHARD: Okay, last chance. (Monica throws the candy and hits some woman in the back of the head, Richard turns around and says) Again, I'm sorry.
Woman: Hey Pheebs! Hows it going?!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Woman: I can dial 9-1-1 at the touch of a button, y'know. Now, go away!
Janice: What woman?!
The Smoking Woman: I am not going to apologize to a tree!
Ross: No suds? Excuse me, hold on a second. (to woman) That's my friend's machine.
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
Rachel: Come on, its a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasnt smoked since.
Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.
Chandler: Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Woman: Im Margha.
Woman: Im Dutch.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Chandler: (staring at a woman across the room) Ross, ten o'clock.
Woman: What does that mean?
Woman: Mark!!
PHOEBE: The voice woman. Ya know, I mean, she has a great voice but she doesn't have a video.
The Woman Dealer: Which guy?
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Ross: The nurse said theyre bringing in another woman.
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
PHOEBE: Well at least we know she's a woman.
ROSS: Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...
Chandler: (noticing the woman on the screen) Whoa! Shes purty!
Woman: Ginger.
Mrs. Green: Such a sweet woman.
The Woman: Hi! Im sorry, I know its after hours but I really need candy.
Rachel: Well, it is, all right? When we were out there today, all I kept thinking was: I can't believe Chandler is screwing this woman, but MAN this would be a nice place to live!
Woman At The Wedding: Oh! Of course. (Ross and Chandler pose and she takes the picture.)
(A beautiful woman walks by Ross, he stares at her.)
Dr. Drake Remoray: Thats right Wesley! I just stopped by to say that, youre not a real doctor! And that womans brain, is fine!
(They notice that a woman is sitting by their door)
Woman: Youre no Brown Bird, I can see you through my peephole.
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Woman: OH MY GAWD!! (Yep, you guessed it. Its Janice.)
Monica: What are you the memory woman?
The Other Woman: No thanks.
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
Rachel: (seeing Ross come off the plane with another woman.) Oh my God.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are sitting at the table, alone as a woman approaches.]
Phoebe: (A woman with large breasts walks in the door) Ohh knockers will help us figure it out. (She walks by and he checks her out.)
(Another sweaty woman comes to the door and speaks to her friend)
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
Joey: (mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
(Ross finally looks at the woman kissing Mark.)
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
Woman: Mine havent been so bad. Oh! Here comes one now. (Hums then squeals a little bit.) Oh, that was a big one!
Rachel: Phoebe and I saw Chandler with a blonde woman today outside on the street and then we followed them to a house in Westchester.
Chandler: You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!
Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's day?
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
(A young pregnant woman enters.)
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Ross: If only he were a woman.
Woman No. 1: Hi, can I help you?
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Woman: Oh hi, Im, Im Mona from her restaurant.
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)