words in movies
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Bitsy: The woman you what? (Phoebe overheard what Michael said and now enters the room)
Phoebe: Yeah... The woman you what?
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Alice: Sweety, now, shes a woman, not a gumball machine.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
Woman: No! Its where you put the dirty ones!
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
The Smoking Woman: Who are you talking too?
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Joey: Same kind of thing happened to me! Woman pizza delivery guy come over, gives me the pizza, takes the money, and leaves!
Monica: So she's a woman! So what?
Woman: Im pressing, a policeman is on his way.
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
(Another woman walks up and throws something into the bucket.)
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
Ross: Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor.
Rachel: I am! I am a woman who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it, because soon she wont be able to fit into it.
(They come to a door and silently agree to try it. A very sweaty woman emerges)
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
Rachel: Oh good. (She walks to the closed bathroom door, opens it, and finds a naked woman wrapped in a towel.) Ahhh! My God, sorry! (She closes the door and confronts Joey.)
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
A Woman: What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!
Joey: Oh my God! I cannot believe you guys are talking about this! The problems in the bedroom are between the man and the woman!!! All right?!! Now Chandler is doing the best he can!!
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Woman: Oh my God, I can't believe you're here!
Woman No. 2: Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat. (Starts to leave.)
Woman: Thatd be great, thanks. (Gunther goes and gets them.)
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail) Who isn't?
Rachel: And now, y'know, I'm like... I'm like the other woman! I feel so..
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Joey: Oh-no-no-no, you are! You do this, you give me the great advice, and hey listen, I was thinking about what you said yesterday about focusing on one woman, Im gonna do that.
Phoebe: (grabs and shakes Rachel) Just calm down woman!
Ross: Come on, you-you cant tell me you actually believe that-that theres a woman inside that cat!
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting on couches. A beautiful woman is looking at Chandler.]
Monica: There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us!
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Woman: Let go!
Monica: (shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then
Eric: Oh I feel very lucky, shes great. I think shes the most beautiful woman Ive ever seen.
(a woman enters and recognizes Phoebe)
Rachel: Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman.
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
WOMAN: You know, I uh, I couldn't help but overhear what you just said, and I think it's time for you to forget about Rose, move on with your life...how 'bout we go get you a drink?
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Monica: Well, I was dancing around, and singing "No Woman, No Cry" and I got stuck.
Chandler: Oh look, it's the woman we ordered.
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Woman: Comin' through. Move, move.
Woman: Yeah, well, now you're kinda not.
Monica: Let go! Im a tiny little woman!!
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Oh, just this woman I�ve been seeing.
Woman: Chandler.
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
(Chandler is talking to Monica and notices a beautiful woman.)
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Woman No. 1: Of course.
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
(A woman walks by and smiles at Rosss hair.)
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
Monica: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
(The woman and Ross stare at each other. Finally she takes her stuff out of the machine and leaves.)
Rachel: Ross, you had sex with another woman!
Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.
Rachel: Okay. (watching the tape) Ooh, my! (Rachel jumps when the woman starts screaming) Woah! Why is that baby torturing that woman?!
Chandler: Knit, good woman, knit, knit!
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Woman: Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it.
Mrs. Green: With another woman. Have you no control Ross?
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Phoebe: The woman who cuts my hair!