words in movies
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Ross: (quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.
Ross: See, I would never snap at you like that.
Ross: Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn...
Monica: Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six.
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Ross: Uh. Would you guys mind giving us a minute?
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Ross: Well yeah, but she doesnt know that. I mean, the last time she saw you-you wouldve turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Rachel: Oh, I wanna quit, but then I think I should stick it out, then I think why would such a person stay in such a demeaning job, just because its remotely related to the field theyre interested in.
Jen: Sure! That would be nice.
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
Monica: (Looks exasperated) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.
Phoebe: I know! But if I didnt work there, what else would I do?
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Rachel: And you know, we said that we would, we would live together as long as this makes sense. An maybe this, you know,Just doesn�t make sense anymore.
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
Phoebe: Because you would rather live here with Joey.
Chandler: Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn.
Rachel: Oh, alright. The weirdest place would have to be... (sigh)... oh, the foot of the bed.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Phoebe: Hi, Bubbles. Manly. Well, I just thought I would drop by and let you know how it went with Joey.
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Chandler: Would you all stop yelling in our apartment! You are ruining moving day for us!
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Joshua: Wow! That would be great.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Joey's Date: Totally! Wow! (Pause) Would you excuse me for a sec?
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond.
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Chandler: Youd think that would embarrass me, but you see Im maxed out.
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Chandler: Yes that would have made more sense.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
Chandler: Y'know, I wouldve bet good money that hed be the first one of us to get married.
Joey: What, are you crazy? You havent beaten me once since my injury plagued 97 season. It would be easier if you just give me your money.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! That would be very helpful! Yeah. (He opens the door for her and she exits into the hallway.)
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Monica: (Awkwardly.) Why would I care where Chandler is? You know uhh...You know sometimes I dont even like Chandler.
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Ross: Anyway, if she, if she wasnt in to me, why-why would she ask me out again?
Ross: Yeah. It wouldve been good if we had gotten in, but still real fun.
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
Rachel: Why would you even want to come Ross? Youre a horrible skier.
Frank: Wait, y'know what, I-I came to you because I thought youd understand! Oh no!! Y'know, I would storm out of here right now if-if I had some money, or a place to go
MONICA: And I would have to say pah-huh.
Rachel: Well, of course I am! It's not gonna happen to Ross! He's your brother. (To Chandler) He's your old college roommate. Ugh, it was just a matter of time before someone had to leave the group. I just always assumed Phoebe would be the one to go.
Ross: How did you know she would buy scotch tape?
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
Phoebe: Which would you rather be a fireman or a swimmer?
RACHEL: Why on earth would I understand this?
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Kathy: Okay. Understanding a little more why you're single. Ohh! Y'know, I have a friend you would like, she's really pretty. And then we could double date!
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
CHAN: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Rachel: Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats?
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?
EDDIE: That's very interesting, ya know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say.
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Ross: Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed.
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Monica: And Phoebe is his friend, so he thinks that would be breaking the rules!
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
CHANDLER: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?
Phoebe: Im really glad you guys are okay but, I just keep thinking what would happen if-if you two (Points to Monica and Joey) actually had hooked up.
RACHEL: This is how I would hold a football.
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Joey: Monica. Oh huh, I always thought it would be Rachel.
Phoebe: He says, that he would cremate my fur coat for free if I umm, y'know, bring in the next person I know who dies.
Mischa: (to Phoebe) Sergei, would like to apologise for my behaviour tonight.
Monica: Now, Mom, everything's going fine, really. (Listens) Yeah, Ross is great. He's uh, he's in a whole other place. (Listens) No, he's gone. (Listens) No no, you don't have to fly back, really. (Listens) What do you mean this might be your only chance? (Listens) Would you stop? I'm only 26, I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Cheryl: Um, would you like to come in?