words in movies
Phoebe: Where were you?
Chandler: Oh, yeah! How did you meet her?
Chandler: Were you so late because you were burring this woman?
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Joey: Well, I know what Im giving you for Christmas.
Chandler: Yknow what? Theres some nice guys at my office, do you want me to set you up?
Rachel: Yeah! Wait a minute, its been a long time that Ive been single. How come you never offered this before?
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Monica: I would love too, but I cant! I mean I just cant, you know that Im not good at confrontation.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Monica: All right, youre hired!
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, Im not asking for me, Im I mean No, Im-Im not gay, Im not asking you out. Im not-Im not-Im not gay!
Drew: I didnt think you were gay. I do now.
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Phoebe: Hey! You guys, Im writing a holiday song for everyone. Do you want to hear it?
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Phoebe: All good, thanks. (to Rachel) Do you maybe have a nickname have like a nickname thats easier to rhyme?
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Phoebe: Pumpkin? Yeah. But did he ever call you like, Budolph?
Chandler: (to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Phoebe: (shocked) You work with robots!!
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Joey: Now, wait a second! You make food and robots?
Monica: You want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Joey: Oh, what are you gonna do? Youre gonna fire me?
Monica: You bet your ass, Im gonna fire you! Thank you.
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Phoebe: If shes no fun, why do you want to date her at all?
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Monica: What are you doing?!
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Rachel: (entering) Chandler!! You have the best taste in men!
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Rachel: Well, y'know, possibly. (pause) You didnt tell him that, though? Right?
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You dont tell the guy that!
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first dateoh, hes so gonna get the wrong idea.
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Monica: Because your all gonna make up fake specials and make me cook them like you did the other night?
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Monica: What kinda things have you been saying?
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
Phoebe: So, did you pick one yet?
Phoebe: Well look, you dont really like the one from uptown and youre too exhausted from dating the one up in Poughkeepsie, so I say you just end them both. Okay? You take a train up to Poughkeepsie and break up with her, and on your way back you break up with uptown. And then by the time you get home tonight, youre done!
Ross: Yknow, youre right. Thank you.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Rachel: You idiot!!
Chandler: Im sure youre right, but why?
Rachel: You dont tell a guy that youre looking for a serious relationship! You dont tell the guy that! Now you scared him away!
Rachel: Yknow, you should never be allowed to talk to people!
Chandler: Well, yknow, youre-youre gonna meet somebody! Youre a great catch! Yknow when I was telling all those guys about you, I didnt have to lie once. (He sits down on the arm of her chair)
Chandler: Yeah! You graduated Magma Ku Laude, right?
Chandler: Oh, it doesnt matter. (Kisses her on the top of her head.) Hey, yknow what, Ive got two tickets to tonights Rangers game, you wanna come with me?
Chandler: Have you ever been with a woman?
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
Monica: I need more swordfish. (to one of the assistant chefs) Can you get me some more swordfish?
Monica: You did a minute ago!
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Monica: You do?
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Monica: Well if you want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Joey: What are you gonna do? Youre gonna fire me?
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think its funny now?
Monica: Good! Now, take those salads to table 4, (to the kitchen worker from earlier) And you! Get the swordfish! (to another assistant chef) And you! Get a haircut!
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Ross: Coffee sounds great. (They get up) Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Ross: Great to see you!
Will: God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Ross: You guys know where Rachel is?
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Chandler: Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
Rachel: Ok. If you really need to.
RACHEL: Hey. Whe-ell, look at you, finally got that time machine workin' huh?
Chandler: Why would you say that?
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Ross: Rachel, I can see you dialing! I don't understand why...
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Monica: Sweetie, with you its gonna be different. The sex is gonna be great, cause you-you guys are in love.
Rachel: Oh, great, Are you gonna be ok?
Ross: Did the TV wake you?
Joey: What are you doing?
PHOEBE: I told you not to do that yet. And, she wants to do a video.
Ross: Sorry. (Rachel sits on her bed). You ok?
Chandler: I Think last night was great. You know, the Karaoke thing. Tracy and I doing Ebony and Ivory.
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Rachel: Taking advantage? I'm giving you the advantage, enjoy!
Monica: What is with you?
Phoebe: Okay, my turn. My turn. (Joey hands her to Phoebe.) Oh! Youre so cute! Oh, I could squeeze your little head! (Pause) I wont.
Girl: Whatd you think I was, a hooker?
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Monica: Are you awake?
Joey: Hey, now youre the one who wet his pants. (He throws another handful on him and runs out)
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
Rachel: Oh, you bought me a present! Why?
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Joey: Thank you.
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
Ross: You sure you're alright?
Phoebe: How could you possibly think that?
Phoebe: No, he really hates it. But he's gonna let me keep my box of human hair! So you got to pick your battles. But the good news is, Gladys is yours!
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Rachel: (To Ross) So you were in an I Hate Rachel club?
Chandler: How do you know?
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Rachel: You know it was you're uhm... birthday...
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Ross: Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé.
Ross: Thank you. I'm glad you agree.
Rachel: Here you go Pheebs. Who else wants one of my special homemade brownies?
Ross: Im so glad youre going on this trip!
Monica: Wait a minute. Are you honestly telling me that-that you may never want to get married?
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Rachel: (while entering) Hi you guys.
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Joey: No, thank you.
Joey: I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Monica: See you guys later.
Sleep Clinic Worker: Alll right, well call you in a few minutes.
Kathy: No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Kathy.
Chandler: Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just a little.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Maybe she meant to get you a hooker.
Mr Campbell: You don't?
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
JOEY: What're you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel?
Michelle: Ross, you didn�t tell me you were a doctor!
Phoebe: Now you know how you really feel about it.
Chandler: (sitting down on the arm of her chair) You didnt think I used to wear glasses, right?
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Phoebe: Can you?
Gunther: Six? You want me to join you?
Monica: How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and Ill make you a nice martini.
Richard: Noo! I came down here to tell you something else. I came here to tell you I still love you.
JOEY: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Monica:: But you don't remember sleeping with her.
Mike: You really did that?
Mike: Ah! I missed you
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
Girl: Who are you?
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Mackenzie: What are you? Eight?
Rachel: (to Ross) Could you please get her attention?
Joey: Will you let the lady talk?!
Joey: Correct! Now, would you like to pick a Wicked Wango card or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Ross: Uh, yeah, you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Man: You still don't know my name, do you?
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
Monica: Phoebe, we are so proud of you! You're amazing!
Rachel: I'm fantastic. You remember Ross?
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Assistant: You got two more twos?
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Monica: Oh no, you see were on our honeymoon. So umm, can you do your little thing and bump us up to first class?