words in movies
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Joey: No, no... how come you are working here?
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just dont get along?
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
Teacher: Good for you. Alrighty, next?
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Chandler: And (he imitates the buzzer) to you too, Helen.
Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
Nina: You wanted to see me?
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Ross: Marcel, Marcel, give Rossie the remote. Marcel. Marcel, you give Rossie the remote right now... Marce... you give Rossie the remote...
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
Chandler: Hey, where you been?
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Ross: You okay?
Ross: You wanna watch Laverne y Shirley?
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
Nina: Are you okay?
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
Chandler: (Suddenly bright) Would you like to have dinner sometime?
Rachel: So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
Jamie: So, so youre here too?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Chandler: Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Chandler: Im just trying to find the right moment, you know?
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Chandler: You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Rachel: You dont even have cats.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Have you two, you know... like... you know... you know... yet?
Joey: You meant sex, right?
Nina: Do you have a sec?
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Chandler: Helen drinks. (Insincerely) Will you marry me?
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Monica: Are you alright?
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... (she climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole) ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! (Screams.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Chandler: Pheebs, I dont understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know anything about?
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Rachel: You promised you would break up with her!
Phoebe: Umm, do you know, umm Sipowicz?
Chandler: So apparently we just dont pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Gary: I really like waking up with you.
Rachel: Phoebe, are you okay?
SUSIE: But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear?
PHOEBE: Nope. You don't want to see a face covered with pox.
Rachel: Well, y'know, possibly. (pause) You didnt tell him that, though? Right?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Chandler: You okay there man?
Eric: Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and
Joey: What are you talking about? Keep it!
Monica: Danny? You know Rachel? Shes nice. Shes not bad to look at, right?
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Chandler: Did you tell her what we talked about? (Joey starts laughing hysterically, but then gets serious again...)
Joey: Hey Ross listen Chandler got you out of going to the lesbian sandwich museum this weekend!
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Chandler: I got you something from Vermont! (Sits down at the table)
Joey: Man. Can you believe he's only had sex with one woman?
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: You want my advice?
Chandler: Thank you.
Monica: Joey... we always know what you mean.
Rachel: Well, I like you less!
Joey: Yeah, you did some real good thinkin in there.
Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Ross: Rachel, I know that you can. And you should.
Phoebe: Youre thing. Youre thing. Yknow? Youre the guy who gets divorced.
Ross: Wow, hello! You look great!
Monica: I love you.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Monica: That noise you just made?
Wendy: Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.
Joey: You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Monica: I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why Phoebe, why?
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Joey: You got it!
Chandler: (pats him on the shoulder) Youre it! Now run and hide!
Chandler: (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
CHANDLER: So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
Chandler: Im sorry youre here with me instead of Roger.
Rachel: Well look, if you dont like this (The audiences laughter at Chandlers progress cuts out the rest of Rachels line.)
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Monica: Chandler! What are you doing here?
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
Ross: You couldn't let me have her, could ya?!
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
Ross: Hey! You were so right!
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Rachel: Well, well, you said it was practice!
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Richard: Yeah hes no good. Do you ever (pause) think about me in a (pause) non-eye doctor way?
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
JOEY: Oh, that's OK. You uh, you had a thing.
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Monica: Chandler, what were you thinking?
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Rachel: Pheebs? Could you get that? Please?
Ross: No, its my joke, its mine. You can call them, theyll tell you.
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Rachel: Oh, wow thanks! (Reading the card) Oh youre in real estate!
Rachel: (looking at the bulletin board with baby pictures) So, which of these babies do you think is the ugliest?
Joey: I can't believe you guys are moving.
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Joey: (sounds tired) Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun.
Phoebe: (to Pete) Wow! Thats exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman.
Monica: I got you a present!
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, Hey, the bell doesnt dismiss you, I dismiss you.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Ross: Yknow what would cheer you up?
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Rachel: So, I love you.
Joey: Hey, hang up! You get food poisoning just talkin to that place.
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?