words in movies
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Joey: No, no... how come you are working here?
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just dont get along?
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Rachel: So, is this just gonna be you and Carol?
Teacher: Good for you. Alrighty, next?
Ross: You know how close women can get.
Chandler: And (he imitates the buzzer) to you too, Helen.
Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
Nina: You wanted to see me?
Chandler: Uh, Yes. Yes. Ive just been going over your data here, and little thing, youve been post-dating your Friday numbers.
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Ross: Marcel, Marcel, give Rossie the remote. Marcel. Marcel, you give Rossie the remote right now... Marce... you give Rossie the remote...
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
Chandler: Hey, where you been?
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Why? Why would you wanna... do that? Why?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
Ross: You okay?
Ross: You wanna watch Laverne y Shirley?
Susan: Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. You can go. Ill get the information.
Teacher: Alrighty. Were gonna start with some basic third stage breathing exercises, so Mummies, why dont you get on your back? And... coaches, you should be supporting Mummys head.
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Mr. Douglas: Not you. Relax. Ever have to fire anyone?
Nina: Are you okay?
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
Chandler: (Suddenly bright) Would you like to have dinner sometime?
Rachel: So Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Jamie: No, no, no. We were there last night. She kept... (shuddering at the memory) ..bringing swordfish. (Indicating the ladies bathroom) are you gonna go to the, um?
Jamie: So, so youre here too?
Phoebe: Much as you are.
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Chandler: Well, you still havent taken down the Christmas lights.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Chandler: Im just trying to find the right moment, you know?
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Chandler: You know, once youre inside, you dont have to knock any more.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Mr.Heckles: I can hear you through the ceiling. My cats cant sleep.
Rachel: You dont even have cats.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Rachel: Are you seein her again tonight?
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Mr. Douglas: Youre kidding? She seems so...
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Mr. Douglas: I see. I guess you never really know whats goin on inside a persons head.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Rachel: This is just occurring to you?
Rachel: (She comforts him too) Oh, youre gonna be great!
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Phoebe: Wherere you going?
Phoebe: Alright, could I just ask you one question?
Phoebe: Have you two, you know... like... you know... you know... yet?
Joey: You meant sex, right?
Nina: Do you have a sec?
Chandler: Ah, well, maybe thats, ah, because youre getting a big raise.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Chandler: Helen drinks. (Insincerely) Will you marry me?
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Monica: Are you alright?
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
Rachel: No no no no no. You wanted me to take them down, so... (she climbs onto the railing to reach the top of a pole) ..Im takin em down. Okay? Whoa! (Screams.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Im okay! Im okay! (She knocks on Mr. Heckles's window.) Mr. Heckles, Mr. Heckles could you help me please?
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Gene: You put this on a sandwich.
Chandler: (to Monica) You see you cant tell which one is which either, dwha!!
Chandler: (entering) Okay. You were right. I'm in love with Joey's girlfriend.
Mrs. Green: Youre gonna be a great father.
Joey: No way! Look, Halloween is so stupid! Dressing up, pretending to be someone youre not
RACHEL: Ahh, so do you, beautiful. [they hug]
Phoebe: You can't put your cigarette out on a tree!
Monica: (looking very serious) I need to talk to you.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Ross: Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna.....
MR. GREENE: ...and you sand it and you varnish it...
Casting Director No. 1: That's fine, thank you.
Chandler: I cannot believe you didnt pick me.
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Ross: Women tell each other everything. Did you know that?
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Monica: These arent for you! Are you upset?
Phoebe: Oh, well what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? (Gasps) Is it Gunther?
Ross: (To Rachel) I wasnt talking to you.
Mike: Yeah, look, and I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key just because...
JOEY: Okay.� Great.� I'll see you when you get here.� I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
Rachel: Come on! I am here to take care of you! What do you need? Anything.
Joey: Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
Ross: Did you tell your sister to ask me out?
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Joey: Because! Youre mean on the boat!
ROSS: OK sweetie, I'll see you later.
Mike's father: Who in God's name are you?
Monica: Uh-huh, what exactly did you ask her?
Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee.
ROSS: No, you, ya know there's no need to make it u. . . how?
Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?
Joey: Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready?
Monica: No-no, I-I really dont want to talk about it! I dont! (To Rachel) Especially with you. (Goes into her room.)
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
RACH: Oh well, too late, sorry, you already had some.
Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so....
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Phoebe: Oh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
Phoebe: Oh, well... 'cause.... you just... I don't like this question.
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Joey: Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls?
Phoebe: Oh wow. What, do you think maybe hes gonna tell you that hes gay?
Mr. Treeger:: Oh yeah, of course you dont!
Phoebe: Oh, you guys! We've got to keep all the tickets together (takes the bowl from Ross and puts it on the table)
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Rachel: God, Im not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Emily: Oh my God. I think youre right.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Joey? Are you ok?
Joey: Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.
Phoebe: No, no, no, I wouldnt do you myself, I mean that would be weird. Yeah, no, Ill get one of the other girls to do it. Oh, this will be so much fun! Hey! Are you excited?
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Chandler: (entering) Hey guys, what are you doing?
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Frank: Yeah, y'know I feel like I can really talk to you cause y'know youre my sister, y'know.
Barry: Well, if you want, I'll justI'll just break it off with her.
Monica: Youre plans were with us.
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Phoebe: What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Chandler: Her ankle is what youre watching?
Rachel: Because, I wanted to hurt you.
CHANDLER: So um, how come you guys haven't talked about this before?
Chandler: Can I give you a present now?
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Monica: Really? You promise you wont tell anyone?
Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)
Monica: What are you talking about?
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought.
Phoebe: So instead you told me Monica was pregnant.
Ross: No Phoebe, dont look! You dont want to see whats under there!!
Monica: Oh my God! Have you lost your mind?
Joey: Now you cant tell anyone, but uh I put on shiny lip balm.
Dr. Franzblau: Ok, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, 'if I see one more cup of coffee'...
Phoebe: Ohh, you are so lucky! (To Chandler) Hey! So, where's Monica? Did you guys make up?
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
Ross: C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
Joey: Wow! You blow my mind...
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her)
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Rachel: What? Wait! Why why do you get the story?
Rachel: I know I told you, its a really big problem.
Ross: And in about five seconds youre gonna see why.
Joey: Would you guys want to come down tomorrow and watch me tape the show?