words in movies
Rachel: And your horoscope says, "On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift."
Chandler: (To Monica) Oh, well thank you in advance. (Kisses her.)
Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!
Chandler: Oh thats right. Its your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Chandler: Are you judging them by their covers? Because youre really not supposed to do that.
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Ross: What are you guys doing later?
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not Elizabeths dad?!
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
The Producer: (checking his watch) Lets get you into wardrobe for a fitting.
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
The Producer: Ill let you two guys get acquainted, huh? (Walks away.)
C.H.E.E.S.E.: (Wayne with a computerized voice) Nice to meet you Mac!
Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the terminator or uh, when I first saw you.
Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.
Paul: Why cant you get a girlfriend your own age?
Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Monica: How crazy that wed run into you!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Phoebe: Youre Elizabeths father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?
Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He sets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
Chandler: Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby.
Monica: No, you said the baby creeps you out.
Monica: You said the baby.
Monica: Why would the little girl creep you out?
Phoebe: (writing frantically) You guys, Im sorry, could you please talk a little slower?
Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as its a compliment.
Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.
Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?
Rachel: You just dont look old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter.
Rachel: Oh no! Yes! Of course, I know that! I justI meant yknow are you still a We or are you just You?
Rachel: (sympathetic) Ohh. So you raised her all on your own?
Phoebe: Well, why dont you just get him fired?
Rachel: I was just getting him to like you.
Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.
Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see you!
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)
Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)
Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!
Rachel: WhYou dated my sister!
Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guys not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!
Monica: Well yknow Joey, youre a pretty charming guy.
Monica: No sweetie, youve got to win over the guy that controls C.H.E.E.S.E.! Youve got to kiss some serious robot ass!
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
Chandler: Yeah, you wish. (Stops to think about it and gets depressed.)
Phoebe: (writing in her book) "You wish."
Phoebe: Im not writing about you! Im writing about other people.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Phoebe: I see what youre doing!
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
Ross: (to Paul) Just-just so you know I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasnt as bad as-as
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
Ross: Yeah. You know what? I know what you mean; I do that too.
Paul: You have a son?
Ross: Yeah, well my-my ex-wife and I share custody of Ben and umm, uh, and just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms as Im sure you are with your wife! (Realizes) Oh, Im sorry! (To Elizabeth) Its unbelievable!
Paul: Dont worry about it, I just didnt realize you were married. (Rachel returns and hears that.)
Ross: Youre back.
Paul: You two were married?!
Rachel: Oh! Whoops! Im sorry, you were talking about Emily!
Phoebe: I know what time you said.
Phoebe: I will tell you as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Chandler: Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything.
Phoebe: Thanks! So are you.
Chandler: (To Monica) I told you I should not wear this color. (Hes wearing a reddish-orange sweater.)
Chandler: So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
Monica: Inside of telling us you decided to write in your stupid book!
Wayne: Hey Joey, I want to talk to you.
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Joey: (happily) What do you need?
Wayne: I-I-I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman, yknow Sarah?
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Wayne: Listen, I-I guarantee you keep your job if you can teach me how to talk to women like you do.
Joey: Oh wow Wayne, its not really something you can teach yknow? Its pretty much something youre born with if you(Off Chandlers look)You-you can teach it! Ill show you right how to do it.
Rachel: I mean if you think about it, I mean Ross did learn something from each marriage.
Paul: Well, this is fun. So Ross, did you kill any of these wives?
Ross: Yknow what? I-I-I I-I have had enough of this! Yknow, I-I-I care a great deal about your daughter and I have treated her with nothing but respect! So if-if youve got a problem with me, frankly
Paul: Are you yelling at me?!
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Paul: Wow. What can I say? (Pause, pointing at Ross) This doesnt make me like you any better!
Joey: Well, it turns out you were right C.H.E.E.S.E.
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Dr Green: You kids ready?
Chandler: Whatd you rent?
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Joey: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?
Rachel: No Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it it has to work out.
Ross: Why did you do that?
Mona: I dont understand. You-you give me a key to your apartment and then you change the lock.
Rachel: Okay. Okay, we'll be here! Hating you! Did you see how he was sweating when he walked out of there? Listen honey, if I'm hogging the ball too much you just jump right in there and take a couple punches because I'm telling you, this feels great.
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
Monica: I know, but you have to open it today! (Hands it too him.)
Joey: (looking around) You got me. I dont
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Monica: What are you doing?
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Rachel: Oh! Thank you!
JOEY: (spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa.� Wait a minute.� Wait a minute.� If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
Rachel: How come you are?!
Ross: That's so Janine, you-you-you know what, do you know we're doing right now? You and I, we're interfacing.
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Caitlin: (laughs) Great. I'll see you later!
Rachel: Yeah, ohh! Why, damnit, why did I open my mouth? (In a girlish voice) I have a crush on you; I am attracted to you. (Back to normal again) Gee, I-I know that I freaked him out
Joey: Hey, youre ah, pretty good at this.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Emily: So what are you saying? Its now or never?
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?!
Ross: Sure, what do you got?
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Female Clerk: Can I help you?
Chandler: Do you have my credit card?
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.
Rachel: That is it! You just barge in here, you don't knock
Janice: (laughs) I don't think we need to, because you're tripping me out right now! Are you okay?
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Chandler: Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)
Rachel: Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Ross: No! Okay! Okay! (Stops her.) Okay, look, can I, can I just-just talk to you for a second?
Rachel: Whoa! My God! So what, you all just joined together to hate me?! Who else was in this club?
Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding.
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Elizabeth: Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you.
Rachel: You do? Why?
Carol: What do you mean?
Ross: You know what? That is a very good idea. I'm gonna go make a pitcher of Margaritas.
Phoebe: Youre the best. Thanks. Oh!
PHOEBE: Ok, I'll walk you out.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Rachel: Why?! What?! Are you kidding?!
MONICA: Hey, you know I got a question for ya. Just a little thing, no pressure.
Phoebe: (gasps) My God! What did you order?!
Joeys Date: You must be Rachel, Im Erin.
Joey: Well if you can't talk dirty to me, how're you going to talk dirty to her? Now tell me you want to caress my butt!
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
David: -hard quality. And uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way, you are luminous with a kind of a delicate grace. Then, uh, that-that-that's when you started yelling. (Sits down)
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Joey: You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?
Chandler: You said no right?!
Chandler: (laughs) You said no right?
The Teacher: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Ross: oh boy you got mad at that part. I went over there to tell him how great you are but you know me BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, and I ended up telling him that.
Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Chandler: Well, you can't just not see Rachel anymore, she's one of your best friends.
RACHEL: No.� No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go.� "Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before."
Monica: (entering with Erica and Chandler) Hey you guys.
Monica: (to the couple) Hi! Can you do that and walk? Cause she said, "Next."
Chandler: You cant just call Monicas room.
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?
Buffay, the Vampire Layer: Ah, I thought Id find you here, Nasforatool.
Joey: Wait a second, I see what youre trying to do here! You-youre trying to give me money again!
(Cassie enters from the guest room, with her hair up. The extremely beautiful and sexy Denise Richards is playing Cassie. Woo hoo! For those of you who dont know who she is, rent Wild Things and she was also the last Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough.)
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
Joey: Can I tell you something? Me too.
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Ross: (goes over to Julio) Come here, here, come here, come here, (pause) Mrs. Buffay. Sorry, about what I said, umm, it was, it was insensitive of me to say that you were just a cat. When clearly you are also the reincarnated spirit, of my friends mother.
Rachel: (To Ross) You know what? We should call my mum's house and say goodnight to Emma before she goes down.
Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Phoebe: Didnt you sleep together?
Kim: Oh thats interesting? Because I checked and only one keycard was used to access the copy machine yesterday during lunch and that keycard belonged to you, Rachel.
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Monica: Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Rachel: Thank you judges.
Joey: Okay. See you guys later.
David: Still you know, a girl calls you by your ex-boyfriend's name, that-that's not a good thing, right?
Ross: Yes? Yes?! How can I help you?
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
Ross: You weren't trying to entice me with your nakedness.
Phoebe: Oh really? She said she wants to go away with you?
Joey: (entering the hall) Oh man! Aren't you guys done yet?! I wanna sit in my chair!