words in movies
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Ross: What are you doing up?
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Joey: You cooked him?
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, dont ya?
Cashier: Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
Cashier: Why dont you fill out this address card. (Hands him one.)
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Phoebe: Sounds like youre a little jealous.
Rachel: Oh yeah! You reallyYou look great.
Phoebe: Yknow! You dont make a very good first impression.
Phoebe: Oh you dont know.
Chandler: Are you serious?!
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Phoebe: Well its just like youre trying too hard. Always making jokes, yknow, you justYou come off a little needy.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Rachel: So you guys go, have a really good time.
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Katie: Are you okay with this?
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
Katie: Okay. It was nice to see you.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Phoebe: Oh! Its okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
The Cooking Teacher: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
Joey: When you say used, do you mean eat as a pre-cooking snack?
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
Phoebe: You gotta go!
Phoebe: Okay, dont worry. Youre ready.
Phoebe: Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts and youll be great.
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
The Cooking Teacher: If youre a professional chef, what are you doing taking Introduction to Cooking?
Monica: You do?
The Cooking Teacher: Oh yes! Youre an excellent chef! As a person youre a little
The Cooking Teacher: Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
The Interviewer: You mustve had your hands full.
The Interviewer: Now youll be heading a whole division, so youll have a lot of duties.
The Interviewer: But therell be perhaps 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them.
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
The Interviewer: All right then, well have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, youll fit in well here.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Rachel: Hi! Youre back from your date!
Ross: How are you?
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Ross: Do you feel better?
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Ross: (pause) Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you
Ross: that you actually
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later were gonna be late. We gotta go.
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
RACHEL: Hey you.
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Joey: Look, you wanna use our place?
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Ross: Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!"
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
JOEY: She laughed at you?
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
MONICA: You too.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Ross: (buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.
RUSS: Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's?
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Monica: Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?
Rachel: Well,sounds like you two have issues.
Ross: Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
Monica: Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Chandler: Im gonna grab you some tissue.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Joey: You cant do anything!
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
RACHEL: You?
Chandler: You made pottery?
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
Monica: Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?
Chandler: You have to pick your moments.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Ross: No, but itd be nice if you realised, its just a job!
Chandler: Say, Joe, I had a strange idea of what we could do for our last night. What do you say we play a little uh, foosball for money?
ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Girl: Im not gonna tell you! Youre the bad man who broke Sarahs leg.
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Danny: I'm hungry. Wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more.
Monica: Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you!
Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that youre kind of a loner.
Ben: (mimicking her) Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
CHANDLER: Well, there you go.
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves]
Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.