words in movies
Ross: Hey! What are you guys looking at?
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe youd be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
Rachel: You. Like you havent done enough.
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Chandler: Hey! Did you have the baby yet?
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Rachel: They sent me home from work. They were like, "Start your maternity leave now! Just rest, get ready for the baby." Well yknow what? Screw em! If they dont want me there, Ill just hang out with you guys.
Phoebe: Or you can do volunteer work.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Joey: One guest? You told me I can have six tickets!
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Estelle: Yeah, what time do you wanna pick me up? (Joey hangs up on her.) Hello?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Chandler: I always knew you were gonna make it. Im so proud of you.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Phoebe: Youre on!
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Phoebe: Fine! Youre on!
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
Ross: Uh, do you wanna go change first? The doctors keeping the office open late for us, but if you hurry
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
Ross: Fine! Fine! Yknow what? Whatever you want. Okay? Youre the mommy.
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
Rachel: were you this irritating?
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Rachel: Hi Dr. Long, how are you?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Dr. Long: You must be a little uncomfortable.
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Dr. Long: Okay, theres an herbal tea you can drink.
Dr. Long: You can take some caster oil, theres eating spicy foods
Ross: Youve got to be kidding me!
Joey: You liked it? You really liked it?
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Ross: Monica, what is the matter with you?
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Ross: What?! While shes been going through this hell, youve been making money?! Youre betting on your friend staying in this misery?! (Phoebe lowers her head and shakes it yes.)
Monica: Wait a minute! Now Im betting against all three of you?
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Joey: (in a baby voice) Oh no, were you upset? Did you lose sleep?
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Joey: Ah-ah-ah! Were doing this! Okay, now you got me my first set of head shots. Right, how much were those?
Chandler: Do you want a calculator?
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Rachel: Make love? What are you a girl?
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Phoebe: Thank you!
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Monica: (following her) Ill give you really good odds.
Monica: You stink!
MONICA: That's ok. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing!
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, are you hadsome.
CHAN: Yes, yes, but did you see who she was dating?
Monica: Why do you need it?
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Monica: Yeah I can! (Laughs) And dont think I dont, because I do! I mean all the time, you betcha! (Laughs.)
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Danny: You are! (Hits her back.)
Joey: You got it.
JOEY: Rach, these are for you.
MONICA: A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like.
Monica: Whoa whoa whoa! Wherere you goin?
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Monica: Ah-ah-ah, now you started this, you will finish it.
Kate: (drunk) So you really think those newspapers are just jealous of me?
Phoebe: Well, youre just gonna have to try.
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Chandler: (to Monica) Okay, how many of that girl are you seeing?
DR. BURKE: Hi Phoebe, nice to meet you. [Phoebe just giggles when they shake] So, how ya been?
Ross: People can hear you.
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Rachel: Wait, what are you doing?
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Charlton Heston: (shocked) Youre in this picture?
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
Monica: Yes! Why, did youyou forget to make yours?
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Rachel: You what?
Monica: You changed?
Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist.
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Chandler: Well, that's like money in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!
JOEY: C'mon show us what you bought. . . You know you want to.
Phoebe: Well then youd better hurry! The Angelica! Go! Go! (Bangs on the roof again and off they go.)
Monica: (to the couple on her left) So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple?
Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if it's important to you then it's important to me, because I love you.
JOEY: Uh, hey, Dr. Greene, why don't you come with me, we'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.
Monica: How do you feel?
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
Joey: Ross, how could you let this happen?
Phoebe: Thanks you guys! Again.
Phoebe: What are you wrapping?
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
Ross: (to the receptionist) Thank you for a delightful stay.
Chandler: I cant believe you came back.
Chandler: (calling from the bathroom) What are you doing here?
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Phoebe: Huh. Okay. Well, Im really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Coma Guy: So. I guess I'll see you around.
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
MONICA: What have I not told you?
Ross: Pheebs, what about you?
Chandler: (shocked) Joey, what-wh-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-wh-wha-what are you doing here?
Rachel: Who are you saying "check" too?
Joey: How many times do I have to tell you! Ya, turn and sliiiide! Y'know, turn and slide.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
Ross: Hey! Are you ready yet?
Chandler: You got your passport?
Phoebe: YOU DID NOT!!!! Oh! No! You came up with Relaxi Cab! Thats not good.
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
CHANDLER: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. (phone rings)
Joey: She was nothing compared to you.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Rachel: Would you stop?! What is the matter with you?!
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Monica: Would you ever be a surrogate for anyone?
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Chandler: Oh please, you are obsessed with babies and-and marriage and everything that's related to babies and-and marriage! I've got an idea, why don't we turn down the heat on this pressure cooker?!
Monica: Please tell me youre stopping now.
Janice: Yeah, well, it scares me! I mean I not even divorced yet, Chandler. You know, you just invited me over here for pasta, and all of the sudden you're talking about moving in together. And, and I wasn't even that hungry. You know what, it's getting a little late, and I-I should just, um...(starts to leave)
Chandler: Hes right. Nobodys gonna benefit, and youre just gonna hurt her.
MONICA: Nothing, I just heard something nice about you.
Rachel: Okay, that is all you.
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Monica: Well thank God you were here! I mean, we have to erase that!
Ross: Hey, at least you have a wife! I-I keep getting divorces and knockin people up! And Im dressed as doody.
ROSS: Tuesday right. Ok, bye you guys.
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Chandler: We heard you play all the way from your apartment!
Phoebe: We thought you knew!
Rachel: Ross, you guys went out once. You took your kids to Chucky Cheese, and you didn't even kiss her.
Laura: What are you doing here?
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.