words in movies
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Ross: Oh, where are you guys going?
Ross: Ah. Joey youre-youre having lunch with my mom?
Ross: (To Chandler) Yknow what? Actually Im kinda glad theyre leaving cause uh, I need to talk to you about something.
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Chandler: But youre still my friend?
Chandler: During this time are you, are you still my best man?
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Rachel: Youre gonna be late! Go! Go! (He runs out.)
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
Joey: Im doing my scenes with you?
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Joey: I think you did.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
Monica: Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow well be getting married?
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
Rachel: Hi! Oh you guys look so beautiful!
Ross: (walks up) Wow Monica! Hey, just so you know I had my uh, older brother chat with Chandler.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Mr. Geller: (shaking her hand) So are you his mother or his father?
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Ross: Thanks you guys. (Walks away happily and his parents smile.)
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Joey: Hey! Where have you been?
Ross: What? Are you going back to work?
Joey: Great! All right. Ill see you later. (He starts to leave.)
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Richard: Could you uh, could you lower your script? I need to see your face so I can uh, play off your reaction.
Joey: Okay uh, look I know youre a great actor, okay? And you play all those Shakespeare guys and stuff
Joey: But youre spittin all over me man!
Joey: You know youve been spitting on me?!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Mr. Geller: Well you kids talk about this place so much, we thought wed see what all the fuss is about.
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Joey: You went through my personal property?
Richard: Oh youre awesome! And, in that last speech? You soaked me.
The Assistant Director: You are now.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: I know. I know. Oh God. (Looking around) Theres no tissue! Can you grab me some toilet paper?
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
Phoebe: Yeah, okay. Hey, wait. Do you know what kind of birth control she was using?
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Rachel: All right, well how much time do you need?
Rachel: Then why do you ask?!
Phoebe: Okay. Im going with you.
Phoebe: Ross, youre tired. Youve been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this.
Rachel: All right, Ill see you guys later.
Phoebe: Okay. Wait, do you know how youre going to stall her?
Rachel: Okay uh, but before you do that. I-I, I need you to talk to me.
Monica: Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that?
Monica: (jumping up) Rachel! You okay?
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
The Director: But youre not bald.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Joey: Hey! Youre here! Great! Great! Great! Lets get going buddy, weve got a scene to shoot!
Joey: Are you drunk?
Joey: Yes you are!
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Phoebe: What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Ross: Then you are neither of your parents!
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Chandler: Depends on what you mean by we.
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Monica: Okay, youre-youre really freaking me out.
Monica: How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?!
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
Joey: Thank you. Thank you.
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Phoebe: So-so you two were married huh? What happened? You just drift apart?
Rachel: You look so beautiful.
Rachel: What? Why? Where are you?
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Ross: Im telling you, just a little bit at a time.
Ross: Getting married. (Chandler panics.) Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like youve done everything else!
Chandler: Yeah. Youre right. Hey I-I can do that.
Ross: WhHeyWhoa-whoa, where, where you going?!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wait! Maybe, maybe youre overreacting! You do that yknow.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Ross: (pause) Youre right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Monica: Are you okay?
Monica: Well, youre-youre sweating.
Ross: Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?
Phoebe: Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?!
Joey: Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guys hammered!
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Joey: Yeah! You you were wonderful.
Richard: As were you.
Joey: Thats what you told me.
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Ross: Youre not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about!
Ross: Hiiii-Ya!! (Chandler lies back down.) Im serious! Youre not walking out on my sister!
Ross: Then where the hell have you been?!
Phoebe: You know?!
Chandler: Yeah, I heard you and Rachel talking.
Chandler: You dont know?
Phoebe: What? Youll hi-ya?
Ross: Oh my God. Oh my God! And youre-youre youre not freaking out?
Phoebe: Well you obviously didnt see Chucky 3.
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Mrs. Bing: Oh look at you! So handsome!
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
The Rabbi: Are you Chandler?
Chandler: Are you Joey?
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Chandler: You look beautiful. Is this new? (Her dress.)
Rachel: (leaning in) As are you
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
Joey: Yeah you do!
Joey: We good? Yeah? Good? Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. (To Chandler) Now kiss her again.
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
Ross: HEY, SHE'S FAST!! OKAY?!! (Chandler is so shocked at Ross's outburst that he drops his spoon and backs up) Oh! You-you think you can be beat me? Let's go! Outside!!
Monica: Thank you.
Mr. Zelner: Y'know what? I may regret this but uh, I'm going to give you a shot.
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
CHANDLER: Look, are you gonna be ok?
Joey: No, no, no! You kneed me in my misters!
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Chandler: Ino! I didn't read the box before I opened it. And you can't return a box after you've opened the box.
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
Rachel: You can't move. You just... you just can't.
Monica: Well, there you go.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
Joey: I'm really sorry you guys.
Charlie: Did you get the grant?
Phoebe: Oh, the Angelica!! Go! Go! (She bangs on the cabs roof and it pulls away.) (To Ross) You didnt get the annulment?!!
Danny: Hey, hi, I need a ladle. You got a ladle?
Chandler: Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off.
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Chandler: (to Monica) I'm leaving you.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Laura: Are you friends with him?
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Mike: (to Phoebe) So how've you been?
Monica: God bless you Chandler Bing!
Monica: What? You bet Id lose a nail?
Ross: You got it.
Eric: Great! But wh-whHow do you know where I live?
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Mr. Zelner: It's really nice to see you again.
Ross: Oh, oh... maybe not you!
Phoebe: Oh my God! That guy at the counter is totally checking you out!
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Joey: Okay, for next time, what do you say?
Gene: You put this in your coffee.
Phoebe: Maybe your resolution is to not make fun of your friends, especially the ones who may soon be flying you to Europe for free on their own plane.
Mona: No, no. Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment, and, and, we gotta have some boundaries, so why dont you go back to your place and give us some privacy?
Ross: You did?
Joey: All right! Westminster Abbey! Hands down, best Abbey Ive ever seen. Hey! (Pushes Chandler in front of the camera.) Okay. What do you think of the Abbey, Chandler?
Chandler: The tall girl who wouldn't sleep with you?
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Phoebe: Are you kidding?
Ross: Seriously you guys, I can't believe you're going to spend 250 dollars on the lottery, I mean that's such a bunch of boohaki.
Owen: You were?
Roy: Are you talking about me?
Monica: Maybe, do you need a tissue?
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Roy: You were talking about me before! Look, I don't need this! I'm outta here! Where's my hat? (goes to get it) Look, I've been in this business for a long time!
Phoebe: Three hundred dollars, are you kidding?
Ross: Okay, Im gonna get your coat and then Ill-Ill put you in a cab.
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
Chandler: Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Monica: No, you dont want this. I want to have your grandmothers cookie recipe.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, did you say all man or old man?
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
Ross: Look at you two, bonding, making us late for the airport so
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Rachel: Y’know what, you are mean boys, who are just being mean!
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Chandler: Aren't you...?
Chandler: (angrily) Look, if you did...
Ross: Listen Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.
Ross: I didn't know you knew about that.
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!
David: Alright, but after this I want to see you outside. If the rain stops.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Chandler: Soo... you girls having fun?
Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
Ross: (annoyed) Oh, do you, do you really?
Joey: You a little sad about that sweetheart?
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Rachel: Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Rachel: Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend?
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Rachel: Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What�s wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation theyAlways ask, �what, you live together but you�re not a couple? And you have a baby, isn�t that weird?� And I say �No.You know what, it�s not, because it works for us!� But you know this doesn�t work. In fact this is the opposite of working!
Monica: You were my first kiss ever?
Ross: Oh my God, I love you.
Young Ethan: You know, you read about it, you see it in the movies. Even when you practice it at home, man oh man, it is nothing like that.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Phoebe: So... what do you say?
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Chandler: You know, it haunts me? Up til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, thank you for my azzz.
Chandler: Hey! Hold on a minute, hold on a second. Do you think these pearls are nice?
Monica: You don't know military time?
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.
David: Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy?
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?
Rachel: Joey, do you have peanut butter on the back of your head?
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
Phoebe: You know, maybe she was just really spent from our talk. It was pretty intense.
Chandler: Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat?