words in movies
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Monica: Youre not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over...
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Billy Crystal: Im sorry. Ex-excuse us. Im sorry, its a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch)
Robin Williams: Yeah, could you scooch?
Billy: How do you know?
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Petes...
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Joey: (to Billy) So youre the gynaecologist?
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Monica: So you can like, bite, and pull peoples hair and stuff?
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Phoebe: Yeesh, whatd you do about it?
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something?
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Pete: I told you, were adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
Monica: Promise me youll be careful.
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Bonnie: I can show you an ID if you want?
Rachel: Oh no, Im sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you.
Phoebe: (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight.
Bonnie: Thanks! You too.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair?
Phoebe: Well Im sorry, I thought you said it was okay.
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Chandler: Well, thats not true, he-he smacked you once.
Phil: Not on purpose, he ricocheted of you and got me.
Stevens: Im telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall.
Doug: (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing?
Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
Monica: I love you, Pete!!!
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Pete: It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant You suck!
Monica: I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets.
Monica: Well, youre not gonna get going are you?
Pete: Well let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: You didnt know that already?
Pete: Look, Im gonna get better. Okay? I promise you.
Pete: Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Phoebe: Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Doug: (turning around) Bing! You got those numbers for me?
Doug: Oh, you forgot?
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Chandler: Im a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself.
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
Chandler: No, no. It-its not about the swearing, its more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock.
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
Phoebe: Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Phoebe: You said it was okay!
Rachel: You said she was bald!!
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Monica: Please tell me youre stopping now.
Monica: You are insane! You-you gotta give this up!
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
Monica: Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!!
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Pete: Well if youre asking me to quit, then youre asking me to be someone Im not. Ive got to do this.
Pete: Could you leave a note? Cause Im on a lot of pain killers now, and I dont know if Ill remember this tomorrow. (She leaves.)
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Chandler: Thank you, sir.
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Doug: Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Dont you?
Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Monica: Nobody move! (To Chandler) Okay, you look that way; I'll look this way!
Emily: Oh, well, Ill show you around.
Sandy: I realise how it's... a bit unorthodox for some people, but I really believe, the most satisfying thing you can do with your life, is take care of a child.
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Rachel: Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you.
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Phoebe: The most popular Phoebe in tennis is called the overhand Phoebe. And if you win, you must slap your opponent on the Phoebe and say, "Hi, Phoebe!"
Monica: So, howd the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. Its hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) Its a word!
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Melissa: Of course I remember our kiss. I think about it all the time. I can still hear the coconuts knockin together I (Phoebe is shocked.) I just didnt want to tell you cause I didnt think that youd return my love, and now that you have (Leans in to kiss Rachel.)
Ross: Rachel!! (she enters) Wow! You, uh, you look, wow!
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone doanything else.
Joey: I don't believe this... Have you guys been...
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
Ross: All right, look, look, youve got to do this yourself, okay in person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay, when which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Rachel: Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. (Ross groans and rubs his neck) Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Chandler: Thank you for writing your book. Its-its uh, great book and you are the queen of everything.
[Scene: the 5th Precinct, Gary's precinct, Chandler has come to talk to him about commitment. And as he's walking through the door he notices a couple of "Ladies of the night" sitting there. (If you know what I mean.)]
Chandler: Is that a hint? Because we love you Doctor Connelly but we don't think we'd want you to be our child! (Dr. Connelly glares at him) Wow, talking about an inhospitable environment!
Chandler: Ross, just for my own piece of mind, youre not married to anymore of us are ya?
Rachel: All right, look, we did not know that you wanted a stripper so we went to the phonebook and we got the first name we could find!
The Interviewer: So, according to your bio, youve done quite a bit of work before Days of Our Lives. Anything youre particularly proud of?
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
CHANDLER: I don't know. I just had this weird sense. You know, but that's me. I'm weird and sensitive. Tissue?
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God that’s awful! What did you think of the house?
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
PHOEBE: Ok, question number 28, have you ever allowed a lighning bearer to take your wind? I would have to say no.
Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, yknow how when youre umm, youre walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, thats nice?"
Phoebe: This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy. Now, you can only keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up!
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Phoebe: See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Joey: Okay, hey, museum geeks, partys over. Okay. Wave bye-bye to the nice lady. There you go. Back to your parents basement. All right. (The museum geeks exit and Joey unlocks his door and lets the chick and the duck out.) Come on boys, come on out! Here you go. All right.
RACHEL: I don't know, you tell me. One minute I'm holding Ben like a football, the next thing I know, I've got two kids, I'm living in Scarsdale complaining about the taxes.
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Monica: Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.
Mr. Treeger:: Right. (Starts to leave) Hey, ahh, you wanna come? Marge has a girlfriend.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
Phoebe: You won't even taste it?
Chandler: You cant tell, but Im trying to break the tension by mooning you guys!
Ross: (coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, almost running into Tommy) Oh-ho, whoa! Sorry, Tommy. I almost spilled this hot coffee on you.
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?
Phoebe: Uh huh yeah (stands up) there's just something umm, there's something you should know (Pause) Vicrum just called.
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Janine: (muttering to herself) Or Ill hear you.
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
Chandler: Im sorry. When you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
Rachel: Well yknow, its you guys. You-you do this kind of stuff! Yknow? I mean, you-you were gonna get married in Vegas and then you backed out! I guess Im not upset because I dont see you guys going through with it. Im sorry.
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Jason: I was passin by and I saw that you were playing tonight, its kinda cool seeing you up there. (kisses her)
Joey: Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity.
Phoebe: Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
Dr. Gettleman: (To a patient) I think you just have a cold, it's definitely not Strep.
Ross: Uh, well, don't worry, I'll use the gentle cycle. Ok, um, basically you wanna use one machine for all your whites, a whole nother machine for colors, and a third for your uh, your uh, delicates, and that would be your bras and your under-panty things.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Joey: Well youre not selling the story! Its like; its like you dont believe it! Look, I gotta go. I got a date, but try this. Do what I do when Im preparing for an audition. Okay? Ill set you up with my video camera and you can record yourself and-and see what youre doing wrong.
Professor Spafford: (speaking very slowly) And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Emily: It was dreadful. I felt terrible about how I acted when you said those wonderful things.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Chandler: I'm not yanking you.
Rachel: Op! Wait, you dropped a pea.
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Monica: Okay, but wouldnt it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
Monica: Well I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were so, a long time.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Pheebs, youve been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isnt healthy.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Present Chandler's voice: Remember that big party? Freshman year? A week before Christmas vacation? I do. You had some visitors.
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?
Joey: Oh thats too bad. Ive kinda been saving up. (She just looks at him in horror.) Uh, are you sure theres no studies I can participate in?
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
RYAN: Can you believe how we spent our two weeks together?