words in movies
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
Monica: Youre not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over...
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
Billy Crystal: Im sorry. Ex-excuse us. Im sorry, its a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch)
Robin Williams: Yeah, could you scooch?
Billy: How do you know?
Robin: Y'know its that feeling you get, y'know?
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
Phoebe: All right, so, so you went to Petes...
Robin: No-no, its ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there anyOh, theres the cream.
Joey: (to Billy) So youre the gynaecologist?
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Phoebe: So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
Monica: So you can like, bite, and pull peoples hair and stuff?
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Ross: (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
Chandler: Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
Phoebe: Yeesh, whatd you do about it?
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Ross: All right so, Chandler, from now on, dont give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, dont turn your back to him.
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Phoebe: Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something?
Phoebe: Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
Phoebe: Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two arent together, she asked if I could set it up, but if youre not cool with it...
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Pete: I told you, were adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
Monica: Promise me youll be careful.
Rachel: This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) Youre Bonnie?
Bonnie: I can show you an ID if you want?
Rachel: Oh no, Im sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you.
Phoebe: (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight.
Bonnie: Thanks! You too.
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Rachel: How could you not tell me that she has hair?
Phoebe: Well Im sorry, I thought you said it was okay.
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
Chandler: Well, thats not true, he-he smacked you once.
Phil: Not on purpose, he ricocheted of you and got me.
Stevens: Im telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall.
Doug: (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing?
Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
Monica: I love you, Pete!!!
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Pete: It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant You suck!
Monica: I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets.
Monica: Well, youre not gonna get going are you?
Pete: Well let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
Monica: That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Monica: You didnt know that already?
Pete: Look, Im gonna get better. Okay? I promise you.
Pete: Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Phoebe: Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else?
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Doug: (turning around) Bing! You got those numbers for me?
Doug: Oh, you forgot?
Doug: Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) Thats okay, youre still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
Chandler: Im a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself.
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
Chandler: No, no. It-its not about the swearing, its more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock.
Doug: Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! Youre okay.
Phoebe: Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Phoebe: You said it was okay!
Rachel: You said she was bald!!
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Phoebe: Well isnt he your friend? Dont you want him to be happy?
Monica: Please tell me youre stopping now.
Monica: You are insane! You-you gotta give this up!
Pete: I cant until Im the ultimate fighter. I will do it. Im telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, Im not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
Monica: Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!!
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Pete: Well if youre asking me to quit, then youre asking me to be someone Im not. Ive got to do this.
Pete: Could you leave a note? Cause Im on a lot of pain killers now, and I dont know if Ill remember this tomorrow. (She leaves.)
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Chandler: Thank you, sir.
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Doug: Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Dont you?
Doug: Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
Chandler: Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
Phoebe: (to Mischa) Okay, y'know what, you dont have to do that now. (Mischa translates that to Sergei) No-no-no-no!! Not him, you dont! (Mischa tells Sergei he can proceed and steps away) Well the moments over.
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
ROSS: [holding cream pitcher] Oh, darnit, we're all out of milk. [holds pitcher in front of Chandler's chest and flips the lid] Hey Chandler, would you fill me up here?
Phoebe: She is so amazing! You have no idea.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Joey: Yeah, well, I still got a week left to go in the program, and according to the rules, if I want to get the money I'm not allowed to conduct any... ersonal experiments, if you know what I mean.
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Gene: Hey! I got a kid starting college. I've to get surgery on my knee, you just lost me ten grand!
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Tag: It's weird. I always used to assume, that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy and all that was just a given. But lately it's like what if it's not. Do you ever have that feeling?
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
Monica: Do you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.
Phoebe: Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad. Allo, and Merry Christmas. (A man put some change in her bucket.) Ohh thank you sir. Here's some joy. (She waves her hand up and down as if she is spreading joy.)
Joey: Only if you think its better than this... (holds up an aerosol can) snow-in-a-can!! I got it at work. Mon, you want me to decorate the window, give it a kind of Christmas lookie.
[Scene: The lobby in Ross's building, we see a flyer that is on the bulletin board that reads, "Are you the Hot Girl who waved at me? If so, give me a call!" and it's signed, Joey 629-9*** (The last couple of numbers have been ripped off). Anyhoo, Ross is getting his mail.]
Rachel: Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.
Rachel: You are not. You have never been able to break up with her.
Chandler: So you dont have the cameras?!
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Chandler: Oh, that's ok.I'll just try and reschedule. (on the phone) "Hi, this is Chandler Bing. I made a reservation there and I need to change it (pause) Oh, what do you mean it's not refundable? Can I just come some other time? (pause) Oh, can't you make an exception?"
MNCA: Oh, you must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice steaming cup of hot Mockolate?
Tim: Oh its great! Its great! Thank you so much for introducing us!
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
Rachel: Hey. Gosh, you look soo familiar.
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
Rachel: Um, excuse me, everyone. Ah, this is my last night working here, and I ah, just wanted say that I made some really good friends working here, and ah, its just time to move on. (at the counter Gunther starts to cry and runs into the back room) Ah, and no offence to everybody who ah, still works here, you have no idea how good it feels to say that as of this moment I will never have to make coffee again.
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Monica: (handing her a cup) Here you go sweetie.
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Monica: Youre really sticking with the shell necklace huh? (Points to necklace of shells hes wearing.)
RACHEL: Oh my God.� I can't believe you live in that building.� My grandmother lives in that building.� Ida Green?� No sense of personal space?� Kind of smells like chicken?� Looks like a potato.
Charlie: You know... I feel so bad! I haven't seen you this whole trip and (pauses) especially last night...
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Supervisor: So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. Nina... (miming fairies twinkling around his head) ..she is whooo wewee-woo whoo whoo! In fact, if you asked her right now, she would have no recollection of being fired at all, none at all.
Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.
Ross: (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.
Monica: Phoebe, what are you doing?
PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
Lydia: Look, look at your man, Ewing. Nice shot. You know what, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-youGo to the doctor!
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
Joey: No, no, no more! I cannot lose another dime! Im serious this time! In-in fact, look, theres aI wanna give you something. And let me give it too you know before I pawn it for Cups money. (He rolls the big white dog over) Now, I want you to have the big white dog as a kinda of a, yknow, thank you for being such a great roommate.
Janice: Can I just say, I really admire what youre doing. Just raising her all alone.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Joey: I have an audition, but Ill definitely hook up with you later. Where are you gonna be around noon?
Phoebe: Yeah! You know all those yummy noises? I wasn't faking.
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
ROSS: Shh. Do you want cran-apple or cran-grape?
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Rachel: (on answering machine) Hi, its me. Ive been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful. Please, Ross, you gotta know there is nothing between me and Mark. This whole break-up thing is just stupid.
Ross: You told her before you told us?
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
Phoebe: No, but would you like a thousand dollars and a football phone?
Phoebe: Oh yeah, so you can walk around naked.
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Joey: You said I had to give you the chair, you didn't say anything about the cushions.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Monica: Im gonna go to the bathroom, maybe Ill see you there in a bit?
Chandler: Youre not gonna die an old maid, maybe an old spinster cook.
Joey: (browsing the tissues) Let me see if I approve any of these clowns. This guy wears a rug (discards one). This guy's Canadian (discards another). And this guy is in a cult, ok, and it costs you 5,000$ to get to level three and I don't feel any different.
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Joey: Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no?
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Chandler: (horrified) Wait! You look? You-you massaged me.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
Monica: What are you talking about? She just invited him to the biggest party of the millennium!
Elizabeth: Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to tell you that Im going to Florida for a couple weeks.
PHOEBE: Oh God.� Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Phoebe: But you were going to propose?
Rachel: Wait, you can't go away this weekend! It's Emma's birthday!
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind, are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place. Okay. Just-just, you know, the-the lovely waterfalls, and the, the trickling fountains. And the-the calming sounds of the babbling brook....
Gavin: Do you have fever? Let me see. Hum...
Ross: Yep! I'd like to thank you guys for coming down here to complain about the rain and ruin my career!