words in movies
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Ross: (in an Australian accent) You complete me kitchen, matey!
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Monica: (under her breath) That youre a liar. (Hides the candlesticks in a drawer.)
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, yknow you and Ross are still married.
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Rachel: Yeah honey you dont believe her do you?
Chandler: Just out of curiosity did she tell you how youre gonna go?
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
Chandler: Why dont you open with a joke?
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!
Rachel: Ross, hey you know what might make it less boring?
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Chandler: Yes, you got something from the Screen Actors Guild.
Joey: Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda .
Chandler: Okay, its not a check. Theyre saying your health insurance expired because, you didnt work enough last year.
Chandler: Okay, make sure you look both ways before you cross the street.
Joey: (mocks him, in a whiney voice) look both ways before you cross the street. (Turns and walks headlong into the closed door.)
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, youre still alive! How are you doing?
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Rachel: Pheebs, what-what are you doing?
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Rachel: Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought wed lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?
Phoebe: Yeah, thanks. And listen, can you do me a favor? Could you just umm, wake me up in a couple hours, yknow if you can.
Rachel: Did-did you take these back?
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Monica: That youre not funny or sexy?
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Joey: Estelle, you gotta get me some work. I-I lost my health insurance.
Estelle: Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad mouthing you all over town.
Chandler: Thats great, but shouldnt you be on the toilet right now?
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Monica: What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
Ross: Will you-will you please?
The Professor: Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?
Ross: (in accent) Right, will you excuse us for one moment? (Takes Monica aside.) (In his normal voice.) What are you doing?
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Chandler: Hey, will you grab me a cruller? (Joey starts to groan and get up.) Sit down! Will you go to the hospital?!
Chandler: I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and lets just get that thing pushed back in.
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Phoebe: Hey! Maybe youll die!
Monica: You stole them from me!
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Monica: You just wanna each take one?
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
Rachel: Of course theyre listening to you! Everybody listens to you.
Ross: Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing?
Monica: I think you look fine.
Casting Director #1: Whenever youre ready.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Really?! How do you know?
Chandler: Listen, Im really glad you got the part.
Joey: (barely audible through the pain) Thank you.
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
The Director: All right! Lets try this again! You ready Joe?
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Phoebe: Have you really done this before?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: Rach, theres something uh, important I have to tell you.
Rachel: Okay, Ill see you back at home, if I ever get a flight out of here.
Mindy: Hey, you.
Rachel: (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
Chandler: Wait, wait! Wh-what are you doing here?
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. (pause) No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. (pause) All rightie, bye bye.
Monica: We took a cab. Did you guys walk?
Joey: So you like the nachos uh? Myself Im partial to
Rachel: (touched) Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Joey: Oh... Yeah, you do.
Mindy: What do you mean?
Phoebe: You know like... uh okay... uh... 'Could that report be any later?'
Rachel: You know what? Ive been thinking about it. Im really coming around on the name Ruth. I think I would actually consider naming our child that.
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Rachel: Uh, we are here to break up with you.
Barry: Both of you?
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
Monica: Is all this about you not being able to grow a moustache?
Chandler: You ah, you have, you have to leave, now? How come?
Ross: Rach, you cant look fat in an x-ray.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Monica: You okay?
Chandler: What are you doing here?
Phoebe: You know he's gay?
Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.
Rachel: You don't know?!
The Teacher: Right. Are you looking for Jacks parents to discuss the problems hes having with Ben? (Phoebe nods Yes.) Yeah. Because I really do think the parents should sit down and have a conversation.
Joey: (In a New York accent.) Fuggetaboutit. (She giggles.) How you doin?
Monica: (interrupting) Can I ask you just a little question, huh? Why tonight?
Chandler: (opening the bathroom door and kicking out the chick and duck) Would you give me one minute!! Please.
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Phoebe: What are you doing?
Lydia: Oh, shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You... waah!
Phoebe: What are you talking about? Sarah's great!
Mrs. Waltham: You can forget about Emily, shes not with us.
Monica: How-how are you, Mom?
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Director: Whats the matter with you? Get out of here!
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Phoebe: I don't know, you might be the first one.
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Chandler: Yknow sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, arent they?
Joey: Where've you been?
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
Monica: I cant believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?
MONICA: Joey, you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, maybe you just tensed up a little, maybe that's what you need to work on.
Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Rachel: Well did you know he was gonna ask me?
Chandler: Yeah! Sure, sure. So, what was going on with you today? Oh-oh-oh!
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Joey: (entering the bathroom) What are you guys doing in here?
Rachel: Well why didnt you take the job?
The Cooking Teacher: Oh yes! Youre an excellent chef! As a person youre a little
Joey: Yeah! You, Chan, and the vein!
Rachel: Oh my God!! You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way home, but Im soo happy!
Second Message: "Listen, oh... it turns I got the last spot. I'm really sorry man, it was a lot of fun working with you. Give me a call if you want."
Ross: Hi, did you order some bananas?
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Monica: He said he's really gonna miss you guys. (dubious look)
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
Ross: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
MONICA: Yeah, well you promised Barry, you'd marry him. (Rachel glares at her, and she retreats to safety between Richard's legs)
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Phoebe: No, but you can't.
Rachel: Oh come on, what are you talking about? Youve got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Fridays, come on!
Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey, do you have any gum?
Monica: (takes the phone from Ross) Come on. (Answering phone) Hello? (Listens) Im sorry you have the wrong number. (Listens) (Whispering) Okay, Ill call you later dad. I love you. (Hangs up.)
Monica: You know what? This is not over. We will play you again, and we will win, and you will lose, and you will beg, and we will laugh, and we will take every last dime you have, and you will hate yourselves forever.
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
JOEY: This is unbelievable Phoebs, how can you be married?
Monica: ...love you.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Monica: A monkey. Have you seen a monkey?
Rachel: Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?
Phoebe: (in a sexy voice) Oh? (Takes the phone from Rachel.) Hello you.
RICHARD: You really need the bassinet?
Ross: Pa-haa!! I would love to go with you.
Rachel: Hey! Yknow, sometimes you can do everything right, everyone can wear everything theyre supposed to wear, and one of those little guys just gets through!
Roy: Yeah, yeah, yeah... This is so weird. I mean, you never know when it's gonna be your last dance. And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
Ross: Okay lets put aside that you (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) "accidentally" picked up my grandmothers ring and you (Does it again) "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
MONICA: Do you not remember the puppet guy?
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Joey: Monica, I'm tellin' you, this guy is perfect for you.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Ross: is for me not to see you anymore.
Monica: Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?