words in movies
Monica: Okay, the reason why I asked you guys out to brunch today is because I have been doing some thinking about who should be my maid of honor.
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Phoebe: I hope its you.
Monica: First of all um, I love you both so much and youre both so important to me
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
Phoebe: Aww, and good luck to you too! (To Monica and Rachel) What a nice lady!
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
Chandler: Whatd you rent?
Ross: Dude, you didnt say Die Hard. Is everything okay?
Joey: What are you talking about? Bitch.
Phoebe: Umm, when I get married will you be my maid of honor?
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe! I mean Im justWait a minute. If Im your maid of honor that means you are Monicas.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, if thats what you want
Rachel: Why does it matter so much to you?!
Phoebe: Because this one is now! And-and its two of our best friends! Who knows what youre gonna marry!
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Itssince youve never done it before you can be Monicas made of honor.
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Joey: Yeah. All right, Ill talk to you later.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Chandler: Well, is there any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?
Monica: Come on, was it somebody maybe you dated in college?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Chandler: Well, you know what they say, elephants never forget. (Monica is not amused by that statement.) Seriously, good luck marrying me.
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
Rachel: (shocked) You have been maid of honor before?!!
Phoebe: See? This is exactly why you shouldnt lie!
Rachel: How come you are?!
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Phoebe: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: Hey there, you handsome thing. (Rachel and Phoebe exit.)
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Joey: Come on! Admit it! That was the best nap you ever had!
Joey: Fine! Do you want something to drink?
Ross: Sure, what do you got?
Monica: Chandler! (Knocks on the door.) Chandler! I just figured out who you are!
Chandler: Can you figure out what Im doing?
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
Chandler: Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?!
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
Chandler: What? Are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Joey: Okay, all right, this is how its going to work. Were gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest.
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Thank you judges.
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Phoebe: Hey! Do you want do you want a little taste of Pheebs?!
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Ross: Okay Phoebe, I guess youre next (To Joey) although I really dont see the point.
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Chandler: Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Rachel: No! Yknow what? No! No! You thing was so stupid anyway, this was ridiculousWere gonna flip a coin! (Phoebe gasps.) All right?! (She flips the coin.) Heads! (Looks at the coin and grunts in disgust.)
Rachel: Well yknow what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her, her vegetarian, voodoo, goddess circley shower! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: (running after her) Rach, its gonna be okay! (To Ross and Joey) You guys are the best!
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Monica: What if I have babies, okay? I mean Im gonna look different. Im okay with that, but Im not sure that you are!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Chandler: Id carry you around in my pocket.
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Phoebe: Thats ridiculous Rachel, we were all babies once. (Rachel looks at her.) Oh, you mean today.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, and yknow you-you deserve to win. And-and yknow I was thinking about it, if-if youre Monicas maid of honor that means I get to be yours.
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Rachel: You do? Why?
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
Rachel: But Pheebs, yknow you earned it.
Phoebe: Its fine. I mean, this is something that youve been thinking about since you were what, 14? (Shes referring to the Halloween picture.)
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Rachel: Yeah okay, you laugh now, but shes gonna be yours. (Phoebe gets suddenly scared.)
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasnt for fun.
Ross: (To Chandler) You dont think its a little crazy that you get all my points just cause you
Rachel: Its not dumb. But, maybe its okay that youre not a part of it. Y'know what I mean? (Ross looks confused) I mean its like, I-I-I like that youre not involved in that part of my life.
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
Monica: You came?!
Ross: Just showing you my run-of-the-mill-slice-it-right-off third nipple.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Gary: Hey, honey! Okay, so did you find any apartments? Anything in Brooklyn Heights?
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Ross: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: (calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?
Ross: Phoebe, you said it was urgent!
Emily: You were amazing out there.
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
Gate attendant #1: Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass...
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?
Joey: You got porn!
Phoebe: Where are you going?
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
Monica: Oh dad, really you dont need to
Joey: I said a little bit Ross. Now, how about you Chandler?
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
Rachel: You bought boobs?
Woman: I can still see you!
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Joey: Yeah. I'll see you in the morning.
CHAN: No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Monica: What? You freak! You wouldnt even have known about this place if it wasnt for me!
Ross: Okay. Have a great time you guys.
Chandler: You know, you should really go on this show. All right, listen, I got three tickets to the Rangers tonight. What'd ya' say?
Monica: Rachel! Rachel! You havent touched Eldads hair!
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Joey: No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
Ross: And she just gave you this?
Phoebe: (smiling) This is terrible, what are you going to do?
Phoebe: You wanna do it right now?
Chandler: When did I try to give you money?
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
Monica: You do?!
RACHEL: [enters from her room] OK, ready when you are.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Monica: You thought about that?
Rachel: Wow, you guys, this is big.
Phoebe: And do you know what girls are really good at?
Chandler: Sure you do.
Chandler: You sure?
Chandler: I love you so much.
Monica: You still have feelings for me dont you?
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Rachel: Joey! It is an auction! You dont guess, you buy!
Chandler: So, what do you think?
Phoebe: I dont know, it would totally depend on her coloring and (realizes) You got the job!!
Chandler: Hey, you guys!
Paul: Im thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress.
Ross: Are you sure?
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Phoebe: You mean the chocolate chip cookie recipe?
Monica: Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy.
Joey: So, youd hire me, right?
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Joey: You could?
ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.
Ross: Well, so, you-youll get a job here! I mean, Im always hearing about uh, them foreigners coming in here and stealing American jobs; that could be you!
Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the more important question. How dumb are you?
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Rachel: Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!
Phoebe: You do?
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Ross: Who would you rather be Simon or Garfunkle?
Joey: (in a sexy voice) How you doin'?
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Ross: You were trying to eat it!
Parker: Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So wheres the party?
Mindy: Now, I know things've been weird lately, but you're like my oldest friend in the world... Except for maybe Laurie Schaffer, who I don't talk to anywhere, 'cause she's all bitter now that she lost the weight and it turns out she doesn't have a pretty face. ....Okay, I'm just gonna ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Probably. But you know, I'll tell you something. Passion is way overrated.
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Joey: No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
Joey: And youll be nice?
Monica: Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow, shouldn't you be packing?
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Phoebe: Did you find the dress?
Chandler: Yknow uh, you didnt really have to help me pack.
Joey: Maybe you changed?
Monica: (To Chandler) Did you hear that?! They bumped them up to first class because they are on their honeymoon! Come on! Lets act like were on our honeymoon.
Chandler: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!
Rachel: All right, all right, well you just blew your chances at dating Bob!