words in movies
JOEY: No, no, no.� When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game . . .� courtside!
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
CHANDLER: But hey, it's courtside.� The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . . (Pause)� That's not the way to convince you.
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
CHANDLER: I know.� You're right.� I want to see you too.� I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know?� He's really looking forward to this.
MONICA: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time.� Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.� Tell him that what little time we have is precious.
ROSS: Wow!� (pause)� Wow, You look . . . uh . . .�� It's just, ah . . .�� That dress . . . uh . . .�
ROSS: Well, well, they're good.� It's been a while since I've seen you like this.� You, you clean up good.
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah.� Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun.� And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
RACHEL: I didn't know you guys hung out.
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
ROSS: I don't know.� But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know.� He plays piano; I played keyboards in college.� He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
RACHEL: Okay.� You too.� And I hope you score.� (to Mike) Bye.
ROSS: Okay.� (They sit.)� So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
MIKE: Ah?� (pause)� Do you have one here?
ROSS: Um . . . ah . . . you know, I'm divorced.� Um, Phoebe, ah . . . Phoebe said you . . . You've been divorced?
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
MONICA: Yeah.� What do you think?
MONICA: So, you lied to him?
CHANDLER: Achhh.� It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.� (pause)� Except with you.
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
MONICA: Oh, because, um . . .� well, Chandler's going to be home in a couple of days.� So, I thought I would, you know, practice the art of seduction.
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
MONICA: Because. . .� one of them is for you.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny.� I've been, ah, practicing the art of seduction myself.� (He raises his hands in front of himself, sticks out his behind, and wiggles it.)� Hi ya.
MONICA: You might want to keep practicing.
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
CHANDLER: (softly) Can you . . . hear him . . . now?
JOEY: Okay.� Great.� I'll see you when you get here.� I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
MIKE: (looking at his watch) Eleven minutes.� (long pause)� And now twelve.� So, do you like the beer?
PHOEBE: Oh God.� Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
PHOEBE: I know.� (sighs)�� So, what's going on with you and Ross?
RACHEL: Well, um . . . I don't know.� I mean, for a long time nothing.� But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a . . . ah . . . little thing.
PHOEBE: I hope you were using protection.
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.
PHOEBE: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen.� We're just having fun.� You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."
MONICA: Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
RACHEL: Oh my God.� I can't believe you live in that building.� My grandmother lives in that building.� Ida Green?� No sense of personal space?� Kind of smells like chicken?� Looks like a potato.
KEVIN: So, we're on our way to a couple of parties.� Um. . . maybe we can get your numbers and give you guys a call if we find something fun.
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
PHOEBE: What about Ross?� What about your moment?� Don't you want to talk to Ross about it?
RACHEL: No.� No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go.� "Hey Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before."
PHOEBE: Yeah, I see what you mean.� By the way, nice Ross imitation.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
PHOEBE: Well, you kind of just did.� That guy is going to call you tonight.� Ross is going to pick up the phone and that's a pretty clear message.
MIKE: Ah, you mean lager.
PHOEBE: (calling from the bar on her cell phone.) Hey, Mike, it's me.� Listen, is um, is Ross near you?
PHOEBE: Well, you have to go back in.
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
ROSS: (whining) But you left.
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
MONICA: What are you saying?
MONICA: There's no man in here.� How dare you accuse me of that.� (She slaps Chandler.)
JOEY: All right.� All right.� Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?� (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat.� Then he proceeds to their bedroom.)� Bwa-ah-ah!
JOEY: (emerging) Bedroom is clear, although you might need some new pillows.
MONICA: (sniffing Joey) I think that's you.
MONICA: I can't believe you thought I was cheating.� (pointing at Joey) You own me an apology.
JOEY: (spots the suitcase just inside the door where Chandler left it) Whoa, whoa.� Wait a minute.� Wait a minute.� If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
MONICA: I don't know what to say.� We shouldn't have lied to you.
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
JOEY: (pause) Yeah, you could go to the game with me, ah, even though I know you said you couldn't.� But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.
MONICA: (taps chandler on the arm) You can go.
MONICA: You should go to the game.� It's okay.� I want you to.
MONICA: Yeah, I'll be fine.� You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.
CHANDLER: You're gonna put on sweats and clean, aren't you?
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
JOEY: Where are you going?
RACHEL: Wow.� So, what did you guys do?
ROSS: Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
RACHEL: See you guys.� (She closes the door.)
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
Dr. Ledbetter: I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.
JOEY: And you feel like we hold you back.
Chandler: There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again!
Phoebe: Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor?
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Phoebe: Well Yeah. You look great too. Did you get a haircut?
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
Monica: Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
Ross: Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Chandler: Yeah I even (pause) got a ring. (Puts in on the center cushion.) Did you get a ring?
Ross: What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
CAROL: Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to.
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Cecilia: Youre not the fan whos dying are you?
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
Mark: How've you been?
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
Ross: Well, yeah, of-of course Im okay! What? Im just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what is uh, whats this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)
Chandler: You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes!
Dennis Phillips: Look umm Joey, I-I dont think youre quite right for this project.
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Phoebe: So, youre like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
Monica: So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)
Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Chloe: What? Are you married? Cause thats okay.
Phoebe: I just asked you.
Joey: (To Rachel) So uh, how you doin?
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Chandler: Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it?
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Chandler: Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Phoebe: Okay. Im going with you.
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
Phoebe: That's okay. If - if we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Chandler: Oh Maria. You cant say no to her, shes like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Phoebe: You think hes emotionally unavailable?
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
Rachel: Okay, youd tell me the truth. Right?
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
Allesandro: Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not!
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.