words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is eating some Chinese food.]
(They all run and join her at the window.)
Chandler: And we're done with the chicken fried rice.
Joey: Hey, yeah! Then we could do that telephone thing! Y'know, you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string!
[Scene: Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are checking out the place. Luckily, Ugly Naked Guy is nowhere to be seen.]
Phoebe: It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
Ross: (laughing) Ohh. (Phoebe takes a couple of steps to the door and Ross quickly hurries out.)
Phoebe: (looking out the window) Oh, look! There's Monica and Chandler! (Starts yelling.) Hey! Hey, you guys! Hey! (Chandler and Monica start taking each other's clothes off.) Ohh!! Ohh! Ahh-ahhh!!
Phoebe: (screaming) Ahhh!! Chandler and Monica!! Chandler and Monica!!
Phoebe: CHANDLER AND MONICA!!!!
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Phoebe and Rachel: Ohhh!!!
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
Ross: Actually, it looks really good. (Turns towards the window and now Phoebe starts jumping to divert his attention.)
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
(Ross starts jumping and screaming incoherently and hops over and joins in on the group hug.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are there talking about Chandler and Monica.]
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Rachel: Phoebe just found out about Monica and Chandler.
Joey: You mean how they're friends and nothing more? (Glares at Rachel.)
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
Phoebe: And then. I would use y'know the strongest tool at my disposal. My sexuality.
Phoebe: Okay, watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie.
(She gets up and goes over to Chandler who's ordering some coffee from Gunther.)
Phoebe: Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too. And the one person I want to the most.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
(She makes a show of bending over to get her coat and showing off her bum. She then walks out, leaving no one to eat her cookie.)
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler and Monica are there, of course. Like who else would it be, duh!]
Chandler: Well, my Grandfather was Swedish and my Grandmother was actually a tiny little bunny.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Chandler are there. Monica is entering from her room.]
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Ross: Well, I called over there and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself and he's already had like a hundred applicants.
Ross: Well yeah! Someone sent us a basket at work once and people went crazy over those little muffins. It was the best day.
Chandler: (after they've left) Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!!
Monica: Phoebe knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!
Chandler: (a little hurt) Okay but what about y'know my pinchable butt and my bulging bicepsShe knows!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is snoozing with Hugsy, his bedtime penguin pal and Chandler and Monica come storming in.]
Joey: Uhhh, Phoebe and Joey.
Joey: And Rachel. I would've told you but they made me promise not to tell!
Joey: I'm sorry! But hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them that you know they know and I can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is looking at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment through binoculars.]
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Ross: That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.
Ross: Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. (He opens the door and stops.) Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Chandler: Yeah, listen, Joey isn't gonna be here tonight so why don't you come over and I'll let you uh, feel my bicep. Or maybe more.
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
[Scene: Outside Ugly Naked Guy's apartment, Ross is knocks on the door and Ugly Naked Guy answers it. He's ugly. He's naked. And he's holding a huge jumbo soda.]
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Phoebe are planning their respective strategies to break the other pairing. Joey is not amused.
[Cut to Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.]
(She saunters over to Chandler with a mean pair of 'Come hither' eyes and she glares at Monica.)
Phoebe: Good. I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse.
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Phoebe ready for her date.]
Phoebe: And Joey, get me a bottle of wine and glasses? (He begrudgingly does so.)
(In the meantime, Rachel has returned with the perfume and sprays a mist out in front of Phoebe who walks through the mist and does a little spin.)
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Monica: Because you're on my team! And my team always wins!
(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)
Phoebe: I was going too. (They go inside and he closes the door.) Umm, I brought some wine. Would you like some?
(She makes a big show out of pulling out the cork and pours the wine.)
(They click their glasses and take a sip. That sip turns into a gulp, which quickly progresses into their mutual draining of their glasses at once.)
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
Phoebe: No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.
Rachel: Joey look, just look at it this way, the sooner Phoebe breaks Chandler the sooner this is all over and out in the open.
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
(They slowly and hesitantly move their lips together and kiss gently. Phoebe has her eyes wide open in shock and Chandler is squinting. He finally breaks the kiss after only a short while and pushes Phoebe away.)
Phoebe: And why not?!
(Monica comes out of the bathroom like a bolt, and Rachel and Joey both enter.)
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Chandler: And hats off to Phoebe. Quite a competitor. (Pause) And might I say your breasts are still showing.
Phoebe: God! (She turns and buttons up.)
Chandler: Yes, and we'd appreciate it if no one told him yet.
[Scene: Ross's new apartment, he is showing his boss, Dr. Ledbetter his new place and new outlook on life.]
Ross: A new place for a new Ross. I'm gonna have you and all the guys from work over once it's y'know, furnished.
Ross: Well I am that. And that whole rage thing is definitely behind me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Phoebe are still working on his interviewing techniques.]
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Chandler: And you're okay with that?
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Rachel: And the video camera?
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run out through the fog.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: And thats Wednesday. (He reclines in his chair.) Ohh.
Carol: What? (Goes and checks.)
Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Phoebe: (Excitedly) Yeah, I already have my bell and later on...I get my bucket.
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is collecting donations and ringing her bell.]
Phoebe: Thank you! And Happy Holidays.
Phoebe: Okay, Seasons Greetings and everything, but still
Joey: Oh, hey let me. (Opens the door for Janine and after he closes the door behind her gasps ecstatically.)
(A man walks up and puts a dollar bill in.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Ross: I'll help you. Yeah, I'll make up a schedule and make sure you stick to it. And plus, it'll give me something to do.
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Rachel: No, but I was doing my thing and everything was going according to the plan!
Chandler: Well, so, play for the next 30 minutes and then write until he gets home.
Fran: And some biscottie cookies.
(Another woman walks up and throws something into the bucket.)
Phoebe: Now, that's trash. Young lady, you can't (The lady ignores her and walks off.) Hey! Stop that young lady, she donated trash!
(Another guy walks by and throws his light cigarette butt in the bucket.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
[Scene: Outside Danny's apartment, Danny and Rachel are returning from their date.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Rachel: You're sister? You're sister's asleep on the couch? (Danny nods, "Yes.") Ohhh! I saw her with you on the subway and now she's asleep on the couch!
Danny: I'd love to ask you in, but uh, my sister's visiting and I think she's asleep on the couch.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica and Ross: Sure.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Ross: Like uh yknow like this! This! (He picks up one of those art projects that kids make in kindergarten and first grade.) She-she couldve made this!
(Rachel goes into her room and closes the door. Which allows Monica to let Chandler out of her room.)
Rachel: Well, I met Danny's sister yesterday, and uh that was actually the girl on the subway.
Ross: I think he's been relaxing enough, thanks to you and Fireball.
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
Rachel: (touches his knee) Im pregnant. (Ross stops.) Ross? (Ross is staring off into space.) Ross? (Ross is still frozen) Okay, whenever youre ready. (Sits back and opens her magazine.) And youre the father by the waybut you got that
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Chandler: I don't believe they're brother and sister.
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Phoebe: Fine. (She hands her bell to Ginger and starts to take down her signs.) (The same old lady walks by again.) All right, I'll give you one pointer. Look out for that bitch. (The old lady.)
MONICA: You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.'
ROSS: Oh. Listen, have you ever been uh, you know, foolin' around with a girl and uh, she started laughin'?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning. Monica enters from her room wearing nothing but a robe.]
Rachel: Umm, you-you and your sister seem to have umm, a very special bond, and
[Scene: Danny's apartment, there's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Rachel: Yeah, okay, I'll see you later. (Gets up and runs from the apartment.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
(Ross and Chandler start to read Joey's script aloud.)
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Joey: Yeah, and there wont be a relationship left to rebuild.
(Monica and Rachel begin to read from the script.)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
PHOEBE: I like this lily. It's more open, ya know, and that's like my mom. She had a more open, giving spirit. Ooh, Foghorn Leghorn, ooh.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Phoebe: Well, I taught me and I love me.
(She puts her hands over her breasts and indicates that the coworkers boob job resulted in one pointing up and one pointing down with her hands by pointing up with one hand and down with the other.)
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to a beautiful woman as Chandler and Joey enter.]
Chandler and Joey: Hey!
Ross: Yes it is. See. (Shows them the piece of paper she gave him with her name and phone number on it.)
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]