words in movies
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Rachel: It's not a purse! It's a shoulder bag.
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
(As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Phoebe: (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Chandler: Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
[Scene: Joey's audition, he is with bag.]
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Phoebe: Ok, I've got milk (takes thermos from her bag and starts to pour a cup) Here you go... (Rachel drinks straight from thermos) Oh!(Rachel finishes thermos) Better?
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Throws some in her bag and she walks away as Phoebe, dressed as Supergirl walks up and eyes Monica who eyes her back.)
(Monica pushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Chandler: You dont, like go into the back of my closet, and look under my gym bag or anything?
Janice: By the way, Chandler. I cut you out of all my pictures. So if you want, I have a bag with just your heads.
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
(Joey lets himself in, carrying a large paper shopping bag.)
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
(Ross picks up the bag... then he and the woman kiss.)
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
CHANDLER: Gee, Monica, what's in the bag?
Chandler: ....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.
[Monica pulls out a bag full of airline bottles of liquor.]
ROSS: Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!
Chandler: Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)
CHANDLER: What's in the bag?
Rachel: Oh, its a Macys bag!
CHANDLER: So I got ya something. [tosses Joey a bag of plastic spoons]
(She sets her bag down on the foosball table and Joey sees the Toblerone bar sticking out of it and gazes longingly at it.)
Ross: (entering carrying a garment bag) Hey!
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Chandler: (giving her a bag) Here.
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
Joey: (walking up carrying a brown paper bag) Hey!
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Rachel: (enters with a bag packed) Because Im going to London.
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
Tim: Uh. (He holds up a brown lunch bag.)
Joey: Yeah, well, I couldnt find any cards, so it was either this or Strip Bag Of Old Knitting Stuff.
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
Mrs. Burkart: All right. I'll get my bag.
Cheryl: (looking in the bag) Oh, thank god, it's not Mitzi. It's just a rat.
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Chandler: Oh, I figured you guys would all be mad at me. So I got you some gifts that I found on the side of the road. (Looks into the bag.) Who wants the teddy bear with one leg?
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Phoebe: What's in the bag?
Chandler: Not a lot of closet space, but he can just hang his stuff out the window in a bag!
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)
Rachel: Okay great, hold on a sec! (She runs to her room and returns carrying a huge bag of laundry.) Oh, here you go! You don't mind do ya? That would really help me out a lot! Thanks!
Chandler: Theyre in my bag over there. (Points.)
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Casting Director #2: No, the line is pick a bag, so you need to pick up the bag.
[Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.]
Joey: Ah. (Joey walks to Chandlers bag by getting as far away from Chandlers bed as possible.)
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Joey: Shes gone. She had a bag and she left.
Monica: (grabbing a bag of Nestle Tollhouse chocolate chips) Phoebe, is this the recipe? (Tosses her the bag.)
Phoebe: (reading the recipe on the back of the bag) Yes!! (Realizes.) Ohh.
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
[Phoebe waves Monica in. Monica sneaks in with the bag with Clunkers in it and heads for Phoebe's room.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Rachel enters carrying a shopping bag.]
Ross: Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
[Chandler and Monica head out with some stuff. Phoebe comes out of her room with a bag.]
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
(She grabs her bag and leaves, Joey moves a little quicker to his apartment, leaving Monica and Chandler alone.)
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe.]
Ross: I think its coming from your bag.
Ross: Hey! Guess what I got for your wedding! (Holding up his garment bag.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch reading as Ross enters carrying a garment bag.]
Rachel: Ohh Oh, honey here. Take it all. (Pours the entire large bowl into her bag and closes the door.) Monica! We need more candy?
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Phoebe: I brought you my old maternity clothes! (Sets a bag on the counter.)
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Ross: No I left the diapers at the hospital! Theres some in the bag but Ill run out and get some more.
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag!
Joey: No, come on Ross! (He grabs his bag so he cant leave) Look, Ross, we have to get past this.
Mike: Oh, thank God. (he laughs nervously, and Phoebe gets her keychain from her bag.)
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
Ross: Give me the bag.
Ross: Joey, give me the bag.
Ross: Give me the bag.
Ross: Give me the bag.
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Joey: (smiling) Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there
Chandler: (to Rachel) And you Ross, I believe, if you check Rachels bag you will find a half-eaten box of cookies in there.
Joey: Oo...what's in the bag?
Ross: (unpacking his bag) Okay, shoot!
Phoebe: Oh, ok. Fine, I'll just, I'll take the hat back (she puts the hat in a bag and she crushes it angrily on the floor with her foot).
Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Ross: Oh! That is so thoughtful. (To Joey.) She's a keeper. And what did you bring me? (Grabs the bag that Charlie brought for Joey.)
(Joey sees that she's carrying a small red bag.)