words in movies
Ross: No... No... No. I think I should stay, I think we should both know whats going on.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
(Both women gulp in air. Ross looks at his "football," then manipulates the head & limbs back into place, until it resembles what it represents.)
BOTH: Stop the bus! Wait! Wait! Wait!
BOTH (but to different babies): Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy!
CHANDLER: Actually, uh, we're both the father. (Puts his arm around Joey)
RACH: Both of you?
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
(Ross leans in and kisses her. They both look at each other for a moment, and then embrace in a more passionate kiss.)
MNCA: You and me both.
(She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream)
[They both step out into the hall.]
[they both stir thier coffee and proceed to stare into the mugs]
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
[Mrs. Geller and Ross both enter]
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
BOTH: Oh, ohhhhh.
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
RACHEL: Well, you're not sixteen, you're both adults now.
[they both pour in packets of cappucino mix]
Ross: She wants me to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in our relationship. I mean she goes on for five pages about, about how I was unfaithful to her! (Both Joey and Chandler shrug their shoulders as to say Well...) (yelling) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
Monica: (as Rachel) (Revealing her anger to point at her best friend) We both do that!
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
Rachel: Were both of those Joey?
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
(Chandler enters and they both jump up and pretend that Ross is showing her something in the couch.)
Ross: And it works both ways.
Chandler: Okay, so you both just know this stuff?
Chandler: Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)
Chandler: All right, fine, you know what, we'll both sit in the chair. (sits on Joey's lap) I'm soooo, comfortable.
Ross: That's ok. Uh, anyway, well he and I both really liked you a lot, uhm, but we didn't want anything to jeopardize our friendship, so we kinda made a pact, that neither of us could ask you out!
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
(Both he and Ross start laughing)
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Neither will I. (they both put back the brownies.)
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
(they both start up the stairs.)
(Chandler and Joey both laugh)
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
Monica: Wait a minute, why dont you just call Mark. (they both look up in shock) I mean, who says you have to sit here and wait for him, youve got to make stuff happen.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. (they both run out)
(Both Chandler and Monica walk away in disgust.)
[Both run back in their apartment. There's a knock at the door.]
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
(They both start squishing the tomatoes.)
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Joey: Both of us? (points to Chandler and himself)
(They both start laughing. They look at each other, stop and step apart a little bit.)
(They both try to slowly extricate themselves from Ross, but theres a knock on the door that awakens him.)
(They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
Ross: (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
(Both Phoebe and him are singing along and they get to the chorus.)
(They both look at each other for a while)
Phoebe: Yeah, otherwise, I mean thats, thats, thats just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
(Both Chandler and Phoebe have shocked looks on their faces.)
(They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
(They both kiss, and Richard picks her up and goes over to the bed and starts to lie down.)
(Rachel and Ross both stop kissing, and quickly step back from each other.)
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Why? Because she can sing and play guitar and do both at the same time?
Billy: Thomas, come back here! (they both leave)
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
(They both kiss again and fall onto the bed.)
[Cut to Monica's bedroom, both Monica and Phoebe gasp.]
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
(They both get up and leave Phoebe alone.)
Phoebe: Thank you. We both forgive you.
(They both continue on and Ross meows like a cat.)
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
(Chandler and Ross both laugh)
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
(They both confer.)
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
Both: (screaming with excitement) Aah!
(Both Monica and Rachel laugh.)
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Ross: (stopping quickly) Oh umm, theres also a book here by a woman named Wendy Bagina. (They both laugh, but stop when the hear moaning coming from the next aisle.) What is that?
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Frank: Oh I know!! (Both he and Alice squeal hysterically)
(They both shiver in horror.)
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Ross: Well, it was loong. I didnt even realise how late it was, until I noticed the 5 oclock shadow on her head. (They both start to laugh, then stop themselves quickly.) Anyway, she didnt want to stay. I called a cab; she just left.
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
(They both move to kiss again.)